𝔸 𝕃𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕚𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝔻𝕒𝕣𝕜𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕤 ➁

53. Revive To Regress

I knock on the door to my dad's place. Even though I have a key and could just go in I don't. Now that Katie lives there it's a bit awkward. I hear him shout out to someone, I'm assuming it's Katie before he opens the door.

I look him up and down because he's fucking shirtless and his hair is askew. I look over into the living area to see discarded shirts and a tie, also a bra. I really hope those don't belong to my Aunt and poor Katie, I hope she isn't home to have heard him doing that.

"That was amazing." I see Katie descending the staircase that leads up to my father's bedroom and she's in his shirt, just his shirt. "How come we waited so long to do that?"

What in the actual fuck?

  She freezes the moment our gazes lock and says, "Uhm, hey, Seth..." it comes out so awkwardly and I'm assuming that's because this woman and I have already seen each other naked and now she's sleeping with my father. I hear the baby's cries off in the distance, the one that she thought was mine and says, "I'm just going to uh... yeah..." She heads off in the direction of the cries.

My father lets out a long breath because he knows how fucked-up this shit is. He knows I'm about to lose my shit and he's preparing for the onslaught.

"Are you fucking kidding me, dad?" I can't help but say as I gesture to the inside of the place.

"Nope." He deadpans.

"Do you realize how fucked it is that you're sleeping with her?"

"Yup." He's doing that short answering of questions thing he does when he doesn't want to talk about something.

"Are you going to keep sleeping with her?" He shrugs. "What the fuck, dad?"

He gives me a hard look before his features soften and he says, "she makes me feel alive again."

That's when I feel my resolve crumble. That look in his eyes is one I haven't seen since my mother was alive. I shake my head a few times before I let out a long sigh.

"I was wondering why you were keeping her around. Guess I know why now." I give him a small smile which he returns with one of his own. He hasn't smiled like that in a long time.

"Are you going to be alright with this because if you're not I won't-" I don't let him finish.

"It's fine, dad. I mean, it's really fucking awkward but if you're happy than I'm happy."

"Well, you look anything but happy." He frowns.

"I, uh," I choke on my words feeling myself getting overly emotional. "I just got back from New York, from seeing Rae."

He nods his head in understanding, "you want to come in and talk about it?"

"Yeah, just as long as you put a fucking shirt on." He lets out a small laugh and gestures for me to come inside.

✩✩✩

After seeing the two of them together, Katie and my father, I felt a mixture of relief and utter sadness. Relief that my dad had finally found someone to fill the dark void in him. Katie worshipped him, she doted on him every chance she could and that's where the sadness came in.

Watching the two of them together made me feel the void inside of myself much more, made it that much more apparent. Seeing Katie with her daughter, which was almost our daughter, made me ache to be able to have that with Raegan. That's something I know will never happen though.

Although it wasn't my father's child he acted as if it was. He held her and fed her. The entire time he did Katie stared at him with such adoration. I'd wondered if that's how it was between my mother and my father when I was little. I'm assuming it was very much a similar scene.