𝔸 𝕃𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕚𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝔻𝕒𝕣𝕜𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕤 ➁

21. When To Say Goodbye

I look over at her beautiful red hair, that's splayed out on the pillow next to me, with a sad smile. I reach out as carefully as possible, not wanting to wake her, and run my fingers through it with a sigh. I feel a subtle numbness begin to wash over me because I know it's going to be the last time I do this.

A small smile creeps up her face and a low humming noise comes from her sleeping throat. A pang of something shoots deep inside of me but I push the feeling away. Because this, this will be for the best.

Slowly and quietly I slip out of the bed. I wait for a moment, making sure I didn't wake her. After I know I didn't, I slip on a pair of jeans. I grab the duffel bag I'd came here with and begin stuffing all of my belongings inside. I can't stay here anymore. I don't have a reason to and I sure as hell can't come up with one. No, not after last night.

I'd followed Liam downstairs after hearing Mr. Travers tell him where she'd be. I saw him caress her, saw how he'd spoken to her. I'd heard and seen the entire conversation, feeling nauseous as the entire thing played out in front of me.

Afterward, once they began kissing, I'd pulled myself away and excused myself for the evening. My father had asked me if I was okay but I hadn't given him a yes or a no. That day of all days for that to happen was kind of a stab in the gut.

So, I'd driven back to the apartment and immediately started packing my things. My plan was to leave before anyone got home but, to my surprise, they came home sooner then I'd thought. Thankfully, it was just Rhys and Rae.

I'd shut myself in my room, not wanting to see either of them. I waited for everyone to fall asleep so I could slip out before anyone noticed I was gone but then she'd came to my room. Rae was wearing only a robe, which she'd left partially open, revealing her naked body.

As much as I'd wanted to say no, I couldn't. Because, just like that asshole had said, fucking is something guys like me are good at. I guess that's all she wanted from me, so I guess I could give that to her one last time. And I gave her everything tonight. I didn't let up, I pleasured her endlessly and passionately for hours, one last time.

Afterward, she'd laid on her side and so had I, me pretending I'd never heard what I did. Also pretending I hadn't seen her kiss him after he asked for another chance with her. But she knew something was up. She kept asking me why I was looking at her like that and I said that it was for no reason instead of telling her because it's the last time.

I put on a long-sleeve tee, slip on my leather boots, and pull my leather jacket over each arm. After shoving the last thing in my bag and zipping it up I grab her phone off the night stand beside me. I set an alarm so she can get up and out of this room before Rhys wakes up. No need for him to find his sister naked in an empty bed, my bed. I place a kiss on her forehead as I set the phone on my empty pillow. I breathe her in one last time before standing up.

Slinging my bag over my shoulder I give her one last look before exiting the room. I run my hand through my hair as I make it down the dark hallway, feeling a sinking feeling inside of me. Each step I take gets heavier and heavier but I make myself continue. This is better for her and ultimately better for me as well.

I turn towards the main door ready to make my exit but I freeze when I hear, "you're leaving?"

"Yeah," I turn to see Rhys standing in the kitchen in his pajamas.

"Why?" He questions more seriously than I would've expected.

"Things are better with my dad and I." I shrug, "There's just no reason for me to stay."

"No reason?" He purses his lips and looks off in the direction of my bedroom, our bedrooms "not one reason?" He can't be insinuating what I think he's insinuating. "Not one single reason, Seth?" I shake my head no at him. "Wow. You really are going to be that guy right now?"

"What?" I don't know what he's expecting me to say.

"I know you've been fucking my sister." He deadpans.

Oh fuck.

"What are you talking about?"

"You've been sleeping with Rae. So you can lose that bullshit what are you talking about line." I don't say anything. "You've got to be kidding me, Seth. She likes you a lot."

"Listen Rhys, she's with Liam. She wants to be with Liam, trust me."

"For fuck's sake, Seth." He looks pissed, really pissed. "You do realize she's been fucking infatuated with you since we were kids, right?"

I feel my brows scrunch together. "What?"

"I know you are not that fucking oblivious." He stares at me for a moment before an incredulous look takes over his face. "Christ, you really are."

"I guess so, Rhys." I tug at my hair again thinking about all the times she'd followed us around as kids, specifically followed me. Fuck. He's right. I blow out a long breath remembering this evening as I say, "it still doesn't change the fact the she doesn't want to be with me." He eyes me like I'm lying. "She doesn't." He crosses his arms over his chest. "Stop fucking looking at me like that! SHE DOESN'T, RHYS. She doesn't want me, okay? I heard her and Liam talking about it tonight."

Now he looks confused, "what?"

"Yeah, the guy you brought to dinner tonight, Rae's boyfriend, that guy and her." I look at the ground. "You know, talking about how I'm the kind of guy who's just there for a good time, not a long time. I'm not relationship material."

"Seth, you know that's not tru-"

"I fucked your sister, Rhys. Don't tell me that's not true." I run my hand through my hair. "It's over. It's done with. She got me out of her system, okay? You did the right thing tonight, you brought the right guy for her. I get it, you're a good brother." I feel like my insides are about to fall out all over the floor. "Listen, I gotta fucking go." I take my key to his place off my keychain, "here." I toss it in his direction and then quickly head out the door.

✩✩✩

I've been living at home for a little over a week now and my father still hasn't said a single word about it. As much as I hate exams they were a welcome distraction from everything going on inside of my brain. Every time I laid my head down at night I felt like I was missing something, that something being Rae.

Even though it'd only been a few weeks, I got used to sleeping in the same bed as her. I'd gotten used to the feeling of her in my arms and used to showering with her every now and again. I hadn't even gotten a phone call from her. Not a single one and not a single text. I chalked that up to the fact she'd picked the better man, well the better man for her, that is.

I haven't spoken to Rhys either. I'd seen him in class a few times but studiously ignored him. I felt like a bad friend but I was also angry at him too. If he'd known about Rae and I he should've said something and maybe stopped trying to set me up with someone. But my guess is he'd rather set me up with someone than have me be the one banging his sister.

"Hey," a voice calls to me in the dimly lit hallway, pulling me out of my thoughts. "You looked good tonight." She steps towards me with a smile.

"Hey..." I'm at a complete loss for what her name is. I can't remember any of these girl's names. Sarah being the exception, but she's not a ring girl anymore.

"Katie." She smiles, twirling her auburn hair.

"Yeah, Katie. That's right." Katie is a total bombshell but unfortunately the majority of these girls sleep with all of likes of us, the fighters. "Well, thanks for noticing." I give her a quick smile before starting to walk away.

"You looked angrier than usual." I pause mid-stride. "You got plans tonight, hunny?"

I close my eyes knowing there's a million reasons I should say yes, I'm busy but instead I turn to face her, "no, nothing yet."

"You wanna do nothing together?" She places her hands on my chest with a flirty grin, "maybe take out the rest of that anger?"

I search my mind for any reason not to and there isn't any. I give her a lopsided smile, feeling somewhat relieved I won't be spending tonight alone. "Yes, I'd love to do nothing together."