Ineffable Husbands Oneshots

How to Tame a Demon

"Hello there! My name is Aziraphale. Welcome to my channel." Aziraphale waved cheerily at the camera. "I'm a bit new to this 'youtube' thing. I wanted to help all those who have found themselves married to a demon."

Clearing his throat, the screen changes to a picture of Crowley. The screen flicks back and the scene seemed to change. Azi is now behind a counter with a box of salt in front of him. "For our first video, I will be sharing my tips and tricks of making sure your demon stays in line."

Popping open the box, Azi grabs a fistful and beckons the camera to follow him. Crowley is seen laying on the couch, sleeping. Azi glances at him and whispers to the camera. "When dealing with your demon husband, the first step is to try a little salt. Salt is not too harmful to a demon as they are very salty beings, so try this first."

Azi takes a step toward the sleeping demon and throws the salt. There's a little sizzle and Crowley jumps up hissing.

"What the fuck?!" He yells, looking at his angel and then the camera.

"Now that you established dominance, explain what they did wrong." Azi turns to Crowley. "Bad demon! Bad!"

Crowley just looked at his husband, bewildered. "What is going on?"

Azi simply turned to the camera. "It seems like he learned his lesson. If your demon refuses to acknowledge their role in the relationship, you may also use diluted salt water." He reached for a spray bottle on the side table. "This mixture is 5 parts water and one part salt water." Taking aim, Crowley realized what Azi was holding and decided to run for it. Azi ran after him into the kitchen. Crowley somehow climbed on top of the fridge hissing and swiping at Azi's hand.

"I am not afraid to use this!" Azi warned him, dodging the demon's claws. "I need to use you as an example!"

"It's two in the fucking morning! I'm not ready to deal with this!" Crowley hissed, resembling an angry cat.

"Then when will you be ready to deal with this?" Azi questioned, spritzing the water here and there.

"Never! What are you even doing this for? I've been good!" A jet hit him in the face. "Hssss!"

"Adam told me that I should do this to help those in a marriage like ours." Azi explained.

"There are no marriages like ours, you idiot!" Crowley exclaimed waving his hand around.

Azi turns to the camera where laughter can be heard from behind. Azi let out a long sigh. "Adam, turn the camera off."