Ineffable Husbands Oneshots

Beelzebub's Rant

Beelzebub goes to the ineffable husbands and rants.
Warnings: strong language

Crowley and Aziraphale were sitting in Crowley's flat. Aziraphale wanted to visit the plants, who received positivity and kindness when Crowley wasn't paying attention. They sat on the loveseat that the demon miracled up, cuddling and sipping some wine.
All of a sudden, the door was kicked down. As the dust cleared, they saw Beelzebub standing there in all their short stacked glory. They stomped up to the confused and shocked supernatural entities.
"I fucking hate Gabriel." They squeezed between the previously cuddling demon and angel. "He's always ignoring me, but hell forbid if I ignore him. I texted him and it fucking says read, but he still hasn't texted back. Like, 'Hey! I've been trying to get your attention for months now and I'm finally asking you on a fucking date.' He doesn't even have the balls to text anything back. That fucking angel is so fucking thick. I finally realized how stupid their whole lot is. Your boyfriend here for example," waving a hand at Aziraphale, "hasn't even known you two were going on dates for who knows how long."
A heavy silence made the situation even now awkward. The other demon just stared, mouth open at his previous boss. The angel, who decided to ignore the whole being stupid jab, decided to try and comfort their guest.
"Um, are you okay?" He immediately regretted this, as the fuming demon lord jumped up and started pacing, giving the angel a withering glare.
"Am I okay?! AM I OKAY?! DOES IT LOOK LIKE IM FUCKING OKAY?!" They shouted. Suddenly they stopped and looked at Crowley with a glint of hope. "You!" They jabbed a finger at Crowley, who jumped a little. "You seduced an angel! I demand you help me get a date with Gabriel." They had a fire in their eyes.
"Well, actually about that.... I wasn't really the one who sedu-" Crowley was cut off.
"Fine! Some help you two were." Beelzebub then stomped out of the flat, bottle of wine in hand, leaving Crowley and Aziraphale confused and bewildered at what had happened only moments ago.