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Dear Steve,

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Dear Steve,

These have been the longest two months without you. But knowing that you're Erksine's candidate, that soon I get to see you, it makes everything worth it again.

My serum is done, and Stevie I cannot even begin to explain how good I feel. I feel strong, and not just physically, I feel like the woman that my father always wanted me to be. I feel like a woman that you and Buck can be proud of.

I know that you haven't had a chance to write Buck, but I can tell you that he is fine. He misses you. He'd never admit it, but he does. Asks about you all the time.

I'm sorry this is so short, but soon we won't have to rely on letters. Soon I can be with my best friend again, and I can't wait to show you the woman I have become over the last two months. If you drown yourself in self doubt about this serum, don't. You deserve this, it should be you. Even my father would've wanted it to be you. I'll be with you soon, Steve, and then I'll be with you every step of the way.

Love,
Lottie


"May I sit?"

Steve Rogers quickly folded the letter, stuffing it under his cot pillow as his eyes trailed to Erksine in the doorway. He nodded his head, watching the doctor carefully as he took a seat across from him.

"Can you not sleep?"

"I got the jitters, I guess," Steve told him with a shrug, wringing his hands together in his lap. A smirk crossed Doctor Erksine's face as he looked to the letter that was sticking out from underneath Steve's pillow.

"I am assuming that Lottie's letters help ease the jitters?" Steve couldn't control his blush as he looked down again. The Doctor's laugh sounded through the room as he placed a hand on Steve's shoulder, bringing his attention back from the floor and back to him. "You two would be good together."

"She's just my friend, my best friend. Her and Bucky," Steve quickly dismissed with a shake of his head, looking back down to his hands again. "You should've seen the letter she wrote me after she found out I jumped on that dummy grenade. She was so worried."

"She was worried because she loves you, Steven," Doctor Erksine told Steve as his eyes came back to meet his. "I know you love her as well. You should tell her."

"She could never love some skinny kid like me," Steve dismissed again. Doctor Erksine frowned, but Steve wasn't quite done yet. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course,"

"Why me?"

"I suppose that is the only question that matters," Doctor Erksine looked down to the bottle of alcohol that he had brought with him, holding it up for Steve to see. "his is from Augsburg. My city. So many people forget that the first country that the Nazi's invaded was their own. You know, after the last war the... my people struggled. They... they felt weak. They felt small. And then Hitler comes along with the marching and the big show and the flags and the... and he... he hears of me, my work and he finds me. And he says, 'You.' He says, 'You will make us strong.' Well, I am not interested. So he sends the head of HYDRA, his research division. A brilliant scientist by the name of Johann Schmidt. Now, Schmidt is a member of the inner circle and he's ambitious. He and Hitler share a passion for occult power and Teutonic myth. Hitler uses his fantasies to inspire his followers. But for Schmidt, it is not fantasy. For him, it is real. He has become convinced that there is a great power hidden in the earth, left here by the Gods, waiting to be seized by a superior man. So when he hears about my formula and what it can do, he cannot resist. Schmidt must become that superior man."

"Did it make him strong?" Steve questioned, listening intently.

"Yeah. But, there were other effects. The serum was not ready. But more important, the man. The serum amplifies everything that is inside. So, good becomes great. Bad becomes worse. This is why I chose Lottie's father in the beginning, because he was a good man on a good path. This is why you were chosen. Because a strong man, who has known power all his life, will lose respect for that power. But a weak man knows the value of strength, and knows compassion."

"Thanks. I think,"

Doctor Erksine smirked at Steve's response, grabbing to cups from the bedside table and pouring them each a glass. Steve took the second glass from Erksine's hand, looking up at the doctor.

"Whatever happens tomorrow, you must promise me one thing. That you will stay who you are. Not a perfect soldier, but a good man,"

Steve and Doctor Erksine raise their glasses, clinking them together.

"To the little guys,"

Steve brings the cup to his lips, ready for the drink, but Erksine quickly takes it back from him.

"No! No! Wait! Wait! What I am doing? No! You have a procedure tomorrow. No fluids."

Steve smiles as he watches Erksine pour the contents into his own glass.

"Okay, we'll drink it tomorrow, then,"

"No! I don't have procedure tomorrow. Drink it after? Drink it now!"

Steve only smiles again, his mind racing with thoughts of the procedure tomorrow. But infiltrating his thoughts is that woman who never seems to leave them, the woman he gets to see again tomorrow. And that makes his smile just that much brighter.

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