Unaccepted

Chapter 56: Harm

TW: a bunch of mentions of self-harm, a panic attack, passing out, physical abuse/violence such as: kicking, slapping, & punching.

A/N: the song is for quiet background music

Virgil/Anxiety's POV:

    I get up at like 9 am I think? I go downstairs for a glass of Mountain Dew, when I saw Logan sitting down at the table reading a newspaper.
"Sup," I said on my way into the kitchen.
"Salutations," he replied, not looking up from his newspaper. Then Logan got on his phone, seemingly that he's texting someone. Next thing I know, Roman comes downstairs.
"Logan, I got your text, what do you need?" He asked him while I poured the soda. There was silence, and when I glanced back at them, sipping my drink, Roman was nodding, looking confused. Was Logan making a face or something? I started to chug the Mtn Dew. Haha, JD and Veronica.

    "Virgil, we need you at our spots," Logan called to me. I stopped chugging it because it was gone, then I put it in the sink. Does Thomas need us..?
"Okay" I said, as Logan and Roman were making their way to their spots.

    "So what's happening?" Roman asked. Logan sighed, looking like he's hesitating to say something. This makes me anxious.
"Virgil..." Logan says, rubbing his eyebrows.
"...Yes?" I replied, nervous.
"Roman and I know... that you indulge in cutting," Logan said. My heart dropped to the floor.
"Wait what?!" Roman yelled.
"You know" Logan said. I couldn't speak.
"Yeah but– WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THIS?!" Roman yelled.
"H-how do y-you guys know?" I asked.
"...Remember when I fixed you up that one day, you had a bloody nose and you cut your lip?"
"...Yes" I replied.
"That's when. I took off your jacket and shirt, I saw them all over your arms and I cried," Roman said, looking like he was on the verge of tears. SHIT HE SAW MY BRUISES!
"And I found out that you took my razor" Logan said, still emotionless. Busted, bitch.

    "I-I-I'm so sorry guys I l-let you all d-down," I said, crumbling down to my knees and starting to sob, trying to hold my sobs in.
"You didn't let us down" Logan said. I felt the warmth of someone hugging me, "Yeah. I love you, baby". Roman. I let myself be in Roman's arms... BUT DID HE CALL ME 'BABY' OUT LOUD?
"Did... did you just call him 'baby' and tell him you love him?" Logan asked him.
"Yes... I've been meaning to tell you that we've been dating for a week or so..." Roman admitted. I calmed down a bit, still sniffling and tears rolling down my face slower now.

    "Wow... congratulations" Logan said. I looked up at him, then looked away to mentally coach myself and calm down. In for 4, hold for 7, out for 8. I calmed down and opened my eyes.
"Since you two are dating, Roman can help you recover from cutting. You can find new coping methods," Logan said.
"You didn't have to bring this up now, he might've not been ready," Roman said.
"I wasn't ready... now I feel weaker than I already am..." I said.
"You're not weak, you're strong, you've fought for this long," Roman assured me, making me smile, but then I stopped in order for Logan to not see. I then looked up and stood up.
"Logan, why did you have to bring this up now?! I feel MORE like ABSOLUTE SHIT! DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO FEEL LIKE YOU DON'T MATTER?! LIKE NO ONE CARES?! LIKE NOTHING YOU DO IS WORTH IT?!" I yelled, shaking.
"I-I–"
"NO, YOU DON'T!!" I interrupted him, my voice shaking worse, about to have a panic attack.
"WHY DO YOU ASSUME YOU'RE THE SMARTEST IN THE ROOM?!" I yelled again.
"I don't assume that, I know that."
"Can you try not to be a smart ass?!" Roman asked angrily. I was sniffling again, about to cry.
"I'm not trying to be! Just listen! I wanted you to get help and be safe!" Logan shouted. And I hate shouting (even my own), so this whole argument is killing me right now.

    "Well... you have a point," Roman said, "but you should've thought about how Virgil feels".
"But I didn't want him hurt, or even worse, dead!" Logan yelled.
"JUST SHUT UP!" I yelled, and the whole room went silent. Then, I was having a panic attack, and I could barely breathe, falling down onto the floor and Roman cradling me. He'll pay.

Roman/Princey/Creativity's POV:

    "I-I'm sorry, I was just trying to help..." Logan said, looking anxious for once.
"I understand," I whispered. "But just go," I said normally. Logan looked like he felt awful... but he did the right thing. Virgil and I just weren't ready yet. Logan then went upstairs, looking ashamed. As I helped Virgil calm down, every second of his panic killed me inside. It pains me to see him hurt or upset. He then passed out due to his extreme panic attack, and I closed my eyes to blink back tears. I put him on the couch with a blanket, I'm going to be here when he wakes up.

Logan/Logic's POV:

    I went upstairs in shame. I just couldn't mentally handle the fact that Virgil could die from cutting eventually, and possibly even soon if I didn't interfere. Virgil is vital for whether Thomas can even keep himself alive. (Not his main purpose though.) I just wanted to help, I'm so sorry. I actually... feel... sad. I went back to my room and banged my head down onto my desk in sadness. I heard my door shut, and I didn't shut it. I looked up, and it was Insanity.
"Hello, Logan" He said to me.
"Leave, now" I demanded.
"Oh? Is wittle-baby Logy feewling sad?" He teased. I slapped him.
"Get the hell out of here" I demanded in a more demeaning tone.
"Did you just slap me?" He asked demeaningly.
"Yes, yes I di–"

Slap

    His own slap interrupted me. He then shoved me into the ground, kicked me in the testicles, and kept kicking and punching the hell out of my whole outer body except for my face and head. I was aching in pain, then everything faded to black.