Unaccepted

Chapter 52: Roman

TW: Suicide involving a noose, some Prinxiety fluff

(A/N: Sorry I posted this on Sunday! I was busy and couldn't publish, so I am now... at almost 2 am)

Roman/Princey/Creativity's POV:

–
    I woke up to the bright sun shining through my window. I stretched and smiled at the sunlight. I got up and went into my bathroom, shutting the door. I brushed my hair, made it perfect, and I brushed my teeth well. I walked out and walked outside, going off to go greet my new boyfriend, Virgil. I smiled at just the image of him smiling in my head. I knocked on his door. No answer. It's fine, he might not be awake. I went downstairs and I grabbed a bag of uncooked 'extra-buttered' popcorn to microwave. I'm not going to be a half-ass and
conjure up food this time. I punched in the 'Popcorn' button. I grabbed a large bowl, and sat it out on the counter.

    I grabbed a large blanket and got it ready to cover me and Virge so we can cuddle. I conjured The Nightmare Before Christmas from my room, and I set the disc on the disc player, ready to be put in. I grabbed the remote and sat it next to where I'll be sitting. (I'm sitting next to Virge's corner spot he likes). I smiled at my work.

Ding

    The popcorn is ready. I grab it, rip it open, and pour it into the bowl. I throw away the bag after intensely smelling the tasty smell of fresh buttered popcorn (microwaved at least). I ran upstairs and to Virgil's room again. I knocked, a little faster this time from how excited I am to be seeing this movie again, and last I checked, it's his favorite movie. Still no answer. I wonder if he's okay. I... know he cuts himself, and he got beat up not too long ago. I frowned at the thought of my baby harming himself. He's anxiety for goodness sake, of course he's suicidal. Just because somebody self-harms doesn't mean they want to die. One way of suicide is by slitting wrists. It's just not going as deep and it's an addiction. Yeah but– THAT DOESN'T MEAN THE PERSON WANTS TO DIE! VIRGIL DOESN'T WANT TO DIE! How do you know that? BECAUSE... I just DO, OKAY?

    I knocked harder on the door.
"Virgil?" I called out. The door opened.
"What? Oh hey Roman" he said. 'Oh hey'? What kind of greeting is that?!
"What kind of greeting is that?" I asked, sounding annoyed. WHY DID I SAY THAT I DIDN'T MEAN TO?!
"I was tired, and now I'm happy because it was you I wake up to," he said smiling, but looking embarrassed probably because of my last statement. He was tired. Tired of life... or tired of you, maybe?
"I'm sorry I don't know what got to me," I said.
"You're fine," He said, giving me a compassionate smile and putting a hand on my shoulder. He seems off... You guys don't belong together.

    "I set something up for us..." I said, smiling. But yet, suddenly I felt nervous.
"Ooh, what is it?" He asked, pecking me on the cheek. I smiled wider.
"Follow me..." I said, walking off, ready to surprise him with the popcorn when he comes downstairs. I stopped at the edge of the stairs, realizing Virgil wasn't following.
"Virge?" I called out, looking down the now dark hallway. Dead silence. I slowly walked down the hall and didn't see Virge.
"Virgil..?" I called out again. No answer.

    I saw his door was wide open and pitch black. I creeped in and didn't see anything until I walked in and I saw Virgil... hanging from a noose, lifeless. I dropped to the floor.
"VIRGIL! NOO MY SWEET BABY NO THIS COULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED!!" I cried out, sobbing, hugging myself. Told you. Patton ran in, "Roman what's wro–" he started to ask, but stopped, looking at the horrible sight.
"M-M-MY SON! NO VIRGIL NO!" He yelled, sobbing with me now. "LOGAN!" He yelled. Logan rushed in, "What?"

    We were sobbing too much to answer. I then had an out-of-body experience, looking in from the ceiling, and noticed Logan was in shock, tears welling up in his eyes. He glanced back up at Virgil and he didn't move but it didn't look like he could. I don't blame him. My baby is gone... forever. I just got him and now I've lost him.

    Logan fell to his knees and just cradled himself. I saw Deceit walk in, "I got ice cream downstairs, who wants some?" He asked, then realized Patton was sobbing, I'm weeping but I've run out of tears, and Logan is in shock.
"Umm..." Deceit said, looking at all of us. He showed concern, but looked like he was trying to hold his emotions back.
–
    I woke up, sweating in my pajamas, breathing heavily. I felt my face, felt my bed, and looked around frantically. It was a fucking dream? THANK GOODNESS! I shot up and ran to Virgil's room and knocked quickly.
"What?" He said while opening the door. He looked at my appearance, messy hair (kinda sweaty), sweat on my face, in black baggy (men's jogging) shorts and an old gray faded t-shirt.
"Umm... you okay? You don't look like yourself..." he said, examining my appearance. I wiped my sweaty face on my shirt and sighed.
"I had a... nightmare..." I said.
"Wanna talk about it?" He asked me, sounding interested in my shitty dream.

    "Well I, um..." I trailed off, looking around the hallway anxiously. I quickly walked into his room and sat on his bed, tapping my foot against the floor, looking at my hands. I heard the door shut and looked up at Virgil walking over to me, sitting next to me.
"What happened?" He asked, gently urging me to talk.
"Well I... um– you– I, uh..." I stopped, clearing my throat and taking a deep breath.
"You... hung yourself..." I said, lowly, on the verge of tears. Virge. NO! That thought made me more sad, and me sniffling and blinking back tears. He was silent, I looked up at him, and he had his hands over his mouth, generally shocked. I turned back away and kept looking at my hands, trying not to cry, yet a tear rolled down my face.

    He put a hand on my back, "It's okay". I looked up at him.
"Roman, I'd never kill myself. I don't want to hurt the rest of you all, and it'd effect Thomas awfully, and I especially don't want you guys all depressed and trying to help Thomas and make sure he doesn't get himself killed," he said with general sadness and concern on his face. So he admits that he would, if it didn't affect anyone.
"I know, but it was... scary" I said. He hugged me.
"I know. It's okay, it wasn't real" he said to me, smiling. I smiled back, feeling better but still a little sad from mini flashbacks of the dream in my head starting to fade away.
"But... you would've if it didn't affect anyone..?" I asked lowly.
"Hell no! That's not worth it. Nothing is worth killing yourself over," he said, looking concerned still.

    I grabbed his neck and pulled him closer, kissing him. He kissed back in a heartbeat and gripped my hair gently. He pushed me back onto his bed, and now he's on top of me, still kissing me. I grabbed his thigh and he moaned, not expecting it and he let my tongue explore his mouth. We pulled away for air and we were both panting but smiling widely. I knew he doesn't want to kill himself. Foolish of me to think that.

Virgil/Anxiety's POV:

    We pulled away for air, and I got off of him and sat next to him after staring into each other's eyes for a few moments. I sighed happily.
"I love you, My Chemically Imbalanced Romance," He said to me, smiling. Even though he's sweaty, he's still adorable. He's let his guard down and let me see him with messy hair, wow. Well, we are dating now, but like... that was kinda fast.

    "I love you too..." I said back. Luckily he doesn't know. Doesn't know what..? That you tried. Tried what? He doesn't know that you actually tried to slit your wrists and die you arrogant dumbfuck. That is when my face got dark. Luckily he's not looking at me to notice my worried and shaky expression. I'm keeping secrets from him and I shouldn't be. I should be more vulnerable around him... but not too vulnerable. Just what I wouldn't have showed him before. Not showing him my cuts or telling him I starve myself and make myself puke, or tell him how depressed I am. Never. I don't want him to live with that burden. You are a burden. Not if I don't tell him my major problems that I have constantly.