Unaccepted

Chapter 50: A Huge Confession

TW: cutting, MENTIONS of suicide

Virgil/Anxiety's POV:

    I took a deep breath after Logan went downstairs. I knocked on Roman's door, and it opened up swiftly.
"Oh... hey Virgil, wasn't expecting you," he said. Nice, that makes me feel great.
"Patton wants you downstairs to try these new pancakes him and I made..." I said.
"You? Cooking pancakes? With Patton?" He asked, sounding surprised and I unintentionally took offense. I hummed anxiously, looking down.
"Ok, I'll try it. See ya, Virge" he said, walking away and going downstairs. I sighed of relief I didn't freak out or anything.

    I rushed to my room, and grabbed the blade. I rolled up my sleeve, blinking back tears. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32. I wiped the blade off with soap and water and rolled my sleeve down. I then tiptoed to Logan's room. I looked around cautiously. I grabbed the doorknob and turned it slowly and quietly. I glanced behind me, then I slipped in. I opened Logan's desk drawer and put it in, shut the drawer silently and I closed his door silently, rushing back to my room. I shut my door and locked it, and I sat on the edge of my bed to calm down.

    "Damn it". Insanity.
"Insanity, what could you possibly want?" I asked, annoyed. I looked over to see him sitting crisscross on my floor.
"Now you don't have a razor, you'll have to use those dull ass scissors," he said, rolling his eyes.
"I'll find something..." I said.
"Why can't you just conjure up your own razor blade?" He asked.
"I don't have one"
"How?"
"I don't know"
"Don't you have some in the closet downstairs?"
"No"
"Well you can conjure up random food without cooking but can't conjure up a simple object?"
"...No. I don't know why" I said.
"That's stupid," Insanity said, and I didn't reply.

"Oh I get it. Someone has prohibited you from getting it. Logan is the leader, so he probably made it so that any side can't conjure up a razor blade besides him, because he probably thinks he can't get depressed or suicidal, and since the rest of y'all have a ton more emotions than him, he prohibited it," Insanity said. He makes sense for being the opposite of Logic.
"Oh... well, that's reasonable," I replied.
"See ya shitface," he said, smirking devilishly and sinking out. I sighed heavily, letting some buried emotions out.
"Fuck..." I whispered to myself. I hugged my legs to my chest anxiously. Fuck, I think I'm gonna cry.

Roman/Princey/Creativity's POV:

Those pancakes were great. I know Patton cooked them, but I can't believe Virgil helped. Maybe he was forced to, who knows. He seems like he was willing to though.

    I was walking back to my room when I heard soft cries coming from Virgil's room. I instantly frowned, and tiptoed to his door. I knocked. I then heard sniffling and the door open.
"Hey Princey" he said, sounding dejected. His eyes were a little red.
"Are you okay? I... thought I heard crying," I said, concerned and frowning.
"I'm not okay. I promise..." he said, laughing sad-like and fake.
"Virgil, you know you can talk to me," I said.
"I never do anything right..." he mumbled lowly, sniffling.
"Yes you do. You protect Thomas and make us all happy," I assured him.
"No I don't. I cause Thomas to be paranoid and have panic attacks sometimes and I don't mean to hurt him I never did and I never want to again," he mumbled, sniffling worse. He better not try to kill himself... wait, what am I thinking? He wouldn't do that! I put my hand on his shoulder to comfort him.
"I can't believe I'm saying this but... you have to hurt Thomas in order for him to learn his lesson from whatever it was," I tried to reassure him. Is he having an emotional breakdown? I don't know a lot about this stuff, besides a little on panic attacks.

    "But it's sometimes for no reason and then... he gets mad at me and I don't like disappointing you guys," Virgil continued, weeping silently. He buried his face into my shirt, tears getting on my sash but I didn't care. He needed me. I need him– I... we all need him...
"He knows now to not get mad. He might be in the moment but he will have the thought of that you weren't trying to,"
"But sometimes I can make him have a panic attack for no reason and even I don't know the reason" he said into my shirt. Maybe because you were super anxious at the time..?
"Shhh, it's ok, you're okay" I said to him, hugging him and rubbing his back as he cried. This breaks my heart– err, not literally.

    After a few minutes of him sobbing into my shirt and me hugging him, he calmed down.
"I'm sorry" he said.
"Don't apologize, it's ok. We all get sad sometimes but we have to let it out eventually," I said, smiling to try to cheer him up. He returned with a small smile.

    "Do you want me to stay longer?" I asked. I don't want to leave until I feel like I can...... Yet I also want to make out wi– NOT NOW, ROMAN SANDERS!
"No you're fine"
"Oh, ok" I said, turning around and walking off a little reluctantly.
"Uh– Princey wait!" he exclaimed a little. I turned around and walked back to him.
"What?" I said on my way back, concerned.
"I... I have something to tell you..." he said.
"What is it, Virgil?"
"I... I..." he stopped to clear his throat, and started fiddling with his sleeves, looking anxious. Did he do something bad?
"Princey, I... love you," he said, looking up at me. Wait, what?!