Unaccepted

Chapter 9: Shards

TRIGGER WARNINGS: CUTTING, MENTIONS OF SUICIDE ( I think)

Virgil's POV:
    I went upstairs to my room and plopped on my bed, face down. I didn't want to move or get up. I didn't even bother to shut my door. I noticed Deceit didn't 'greet' me or tell me to do anything, so either he sensed someone at my door or sensed that the door was open. Or both I guess. He's never around the others, and frankly he made them be quiet about telling Thomas. They all know he exists, but they don't know I'm friends with him, and they know that Thomas doesn't know.

I got up and looked out the door. I realized no one was there. I went to the bathroom to weigh myself. 121 lbs. Well, that's good. I'll just get a glass of water.

    I went downstairs to the kitchen and saw Roman leaning against the counter. I noticed no one else was down here, worrying me a little, but I brushed it off. I just need a glass of water.
"Why do you do this?" Roman asked lowly.
"Do what?" I was nervous. I continued to open the cabinet and grab a glass.
"You never want our help."
"I don't need your help. None of you guys like me anyway, so what's the use?" I argued, filling up the glass at the fridge.
"We don't hate you! We just don't understand why you won't open up to us!" He started to raise his voice. I was not prepared for this...
"Well maybe if you all gave me a reason to open up maybe I would!" I shouted. Roman glared at me. I could see he was LIVID. He did have a short temper...
"You know what?!!" He slammed his fist against the counter. He sighed.
"Why don't you just stop breathing..." he murmured. I heard him loud and clear. I was at a loss of words. He was gonna try to tell me that they all cared and he wants me to stop breathing?! Hell no, I am NOT believing that.

    I dropped the glass, realizing I was trembling. It shattered. His face was in his hands and he was livid, but he didn't see me trembling. He slightly jumped to the sound of the shattering glass. I ran off and stumbled up the stairs and made it to my room. I slammed and locked the door. I knew he never liked me. How could anyone like him like me? I can't have a crush on him! He's a liar! None of them like me! I was so foolish to have a crush on him!

I was having a panic attack. I grabbed my earbuds and just randomly clicked the 'play/pause' button on them. It put on "Let's Kill Tonight" by Panic! At the Disco. Phew, well that calmed me down. I heard Deceit start to say something, but I instantly interrupted him.
"No, I'll do it myself." I said. I assumed he wanted me to cut. My music was towards the end of the song. I paused it and got up to go to the bathroom. I still had the blade in my pocket from yesterday. I slid off my jacket and went to my other shoulder. I started to sob silently. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12.

Roman's POV:

God, I can't believe I said that. I'm so stupid! I don't want to hurt him. I was just mad, I didn't mean it. Shit, is he suicidal? Is that why he's been acting... different for the past month?! Oh no. I buried my face in my hands and slid down to sit on the floor against the counter cabinets. I've never been seen this weak before, so hopefully no one comes in. I'm not weak, I'm just stressed and I feel like a jerk.
"Roman?!" Patton shouted. I jumped a little. Whelp, him and Logan are done with Thomas.
I looked up at him.
"What do you want?" I muttered, burying my face into my hands again.
"Are you okay? Why are there glass shards on the floor... with water?!" He asked. I heard more footsteps walk in. Logan.
"Roman, what could be the cause of your supposed predicament? You seem... upset" he trailed off, possibly looking at the glass.
"Because I'm such a dumbass piece of shit who can't keep their damn mouth shut!" I yelled into my hands. I heard a gasp, probably from Patton. Logan was emotionless as always. Sure, he's gotten mad and worried, but only for Thomas's sake. He's never actually showed much emotions around us.

    "Roman! That's not true!" Patton tried to convince me.
"W-where's Anxiety?" Logan asked, nervously stuttering for some reason. I looked up with a face covered in dry and wet tears.
"What happened?!" Patton raised his voice in concern, not anger, and started flashing looks between me, Logan, the glass and the stairs. I was finally calm enough to speak.
"I happened." I spoke.