Colors (Sequel)

Chapter 65

"If I love you was a promise, would you break it if you're honest?"

(No one ever loved by lykke li is what I listen to while writing this)

Daphney's P.O.V

It was like a full flashback to somewhere that felt like another life. The summer of three years before where skin was glowing, smiles were genuine, and we were just ultimately happy. We laid there in his bed, sunshine peeking through the spotty curtains. Bodies were intertwined as we rested in some daze. My head on his chest, his arms draped lazily around me. His skin was almost golden, kissed by the sun and I was rested, not in the drained condition that I usually felt myself in. He was mine, I was his; nothing in between.

Now was a complete 180°; bodies pale, washed out by the blue winter light. Tired eyes, broken hearts, and heavy silhouettes. We stood a room away from each other as we sunk into reality. My back was turned towards him, but my head peeked over my shoulder to catch a glimpse of him. His hands ran through his hair, stressed. I was no one else's, and he was someone else's; it felt like there was a world in between us.

The words I dreamed about hearing fell off of his lips. The words I never thought I'd hear again, fell off of his lips.

"If you didn't know Daphney, I'm royally fucked no matter what I do. Whether I marry Lila or I don't! Whether I'm honest or I'm not! I'm fucked, especially when I tell you that I'm hopelessly and catastrophically in love with you! There it is Daphney, there it fucking is!"

His arms flailed in the air as he said that, giving out to defeat with his last sentence. The tension in the room made the air thick and hard to breathe, almost like some kind of humidity. I held my breath as I let the words he said pass through me, like a ghost, leaving me with goosebumps.

I've always fantasised about those words leaving his lips. Maybe under a fluffy white duvet or laying in a bad of tall grass, the sun warming our skin and sounds of the wind and rustling leaves in the evergreen, but that was a fantasy. Those images were held in a cage somewhere in my dreams. This was real life, cold and bitter. Hearts shattered within this gloomy haze as he said those words. If I was honest, it was surreal. I was in shock, my body couldn't move. I felt everything inside me sink as he said those words. After all this time and after everything we've gone through, he felt this way. I couldn't begin to fathom it, my heart felt heavy at the realisation.

He loved me?

My head that was once peeking over my shoulder turned to look straight at the wall, I couldn't look at him. Millions of thoughts ran throughout my head, everything all at once.

My glossy eyes stared at the blank wall right in front of me. Both my shaking hands rested in front of me so Louis wouldn't see them. My throat clenched and my stomach dropped cause I was prettified. Absolutely terrified.

I wasn't scared for me, I was scared for him. Scared that if these feelings were really true, that he was giving up the life that's waiting for him. The life of dinner parties, coming home to a beautiful wife, little blonde children running around in the grass, holidays to Cannes and so much more. I'm not that life and I never will be. It's a cookie cutter perfect future that's waiting for him. He couldn't love me, it was him and Lila, that's how the story was supposed to go. I was supposed to be the obstacle he ran through before ending up with Lila, for good.

I let out a breath, one that I'd been holding in to try and calm myself down. I had to recollect myself, my emotions and feelings before speaking up. My stomach sunk as I began to speak.