Colors (Sequel)

Chapter 20

"No training wheels left for you, I pull them off for you."

Daphney's P.O.V

The car ride home was silent for the least. It wasn't because Louis didn't want to talk to me, I didn't want to talk to him. The only words we did exchange on the ride home were 'Do you still wanna do this whole friends with benefits thing Daph, because if you don't I completely understand?' Which resulted into me replying 'Yes.' Only because now that I had realised I had feelings for him that I want to find any excuse just to be around him and be with him; this is the closest I'll ever get.

I can't really fathom that feeling I had when he kissed me at the doctors office, it was almost as if the walls I put up just not to feel anything with him had broke and I was just vulnerable, even though he may not have seen it, I truly was extremely vulnerable in that moment because I allowed myself to feel, I allowed that wall to collapse and now my naivety that was blinding me from my feelings is gone; I see, feel, and need him and I'm not oblivious to it anymore. So now I lay here in my bed sulking in my realisation of what just happened about an hour ago.

I mean obviously those feelings were there before, maybe they've even been here all along? I knew I felt something for him but I kept on denying it. Even at my boarding school I got a tattoo just to remind me of him, I started to listen to the music he listened to just to even see if I can remotely feel him for just a few seconds. I kept the necklace he once gave me for my birthday on a train and wrapped it around my ankle just to keep it with me somehow without anyone noticing. I kept all his clothes and letters because I wanted that bit of him that I used to have years ago.

I somehow wish things were how they used to be but that's unrealistic because he has the perfect little barbie doll and I'm stuck with nothing except sex and I mean I'm not complaining because I at least have a part of him but I wish that I could have more. I want him to hold me and I want us to have those late night talks that we used to. I want him and I know how selfish that sounds but oh how I really fucking want him but he has blonde Barbie next to him that he can't even act himself around.

All this stress from these thoughts make me need something to calm down so I grab a cigarette from my purse before opening a window in my room. I hate how cigarettes smell on my clothes yet I somehow love how they smell on Louis. Weird right?

Actually I've been on a streak though, I'm trying to quit and I haven't smoked in about a week but I'm honestly just way to stressed out now and it's either this or alcohol to calm me down. So now I'm just hanging my head out the window while resting my elbow in a v type of shape. The brisk air of the night hits my face and I guess you can say it's slightly relaxing. I must've been here smoking for at least five minutes before I start to hear my phone ring next to me on the window stool.

I felt a rush of excitement hit me as I thought it was Louis but as soon as I snapped my head from the starry night sky I saw that it was Zara calling making me disappointed from my high expectations. Why the hell would I even think he'd call me? I'm so stupid and naïve.

I let out a sigh of frustration, exhaling the smoke that was in my lungs before grabbing my phone and answering the call.

"Hello?" I say slightly annoyed as I went back to looking at the vast starry sky out the window, still smoking my cigarette.

"Hey, did you find out?" She asked me eagerly, her voice nervous on the other line as well.

"Um— yeah I did actually." I tell her breathing out smoke from my mouth.

"So are you?!" She asked me nervously. I can already see her on the other line practically jumping from her spot with anticipation to find out.

I made a slight huff as I ashed out my cigarette before replying to her question.

"No, false alarm. Just an imbalance of hormones from the pills, I won't get pregnant as long as I take the birth control." I told her sounding slightly relieved in my voice but there honestly may just have been a slight tone of disappointment.

"Oh, thank god Daph!" She exclaimed into the phone as I heard a plopping sound on the other line as if she just fell back on her seat or bed.

There was a moment of silence as she took a few deep breaths. She didn't reply until about twenty seconds later.

"So? Are you gonna talk about the guy?" She asked me as if she's been waiting for this question for the entire day.

I felt my cheeks heat up when she brought him up which made me fall onto my bed that was next to the window.

"Ummmm—" I drag onto the phone wanting her to change the subject that was making me so extremely flustered.

"I'm not going to forget about it? Is that why you didn't come to the double date last night?!" She screamed at me through the phone and I swear I probably heard it from her flat from how loud it was.

I choked on my spit trying to come up with a reply but I'm a horrible liar.

"Oh my god Daph?! So are you two together? I mean I know he has a wife or something right?" She asked me extremely concerned sounding like a mum but not mine. She would actually, legitimately kill me.

I took a while to reply mostly because I'm just so stressed out with all of this.

"No, it was just a thing that we did a few times and he isn't married yet. He has a fiancé. We aren't together." I mumble sadly into the phone Looking down at my white duvet.

"What's his name?" She questions me but

"Loui-" but I quickly stopped myself knowing she'd remember the incident making my stomach drop because I practically said his whole name.

A few years ago at school Zara was cleaning the room a bit as I was reading a book on my bed and when she was tidying up the desk drawer I guess she found the note that Louis gave to me and she cried while reading it because she said how sad it was but as soon as I went to snatch the note it was too late. She always bombarded me with questions about the Louis guy but she forgot after a few months and never did I tell her anything of it ever again. All she knows was its some guy and we used to be together and in love.

"No fucking way, THATS LOUI—" but I instantly stopped her.

"Zara I really don't want to talk about it." I mutter starting to feel myself tear up at the fact. God how did I get myself here?

I heard her take a deep breath on the other side of the phone as she tried to refrain herself from all the questions she was going to ask me. We must've been silent for at least a minute until she spoke up.

"Listen, I know you're all over the place right now and the last thing you want is to go on a date-" she tries to say but I cut her off instantly.

"No." I say sternly to her.

"Just listen!" She yells once again causing me to huff in agreement as she began to speak again.

"Listen if you go on a date with Riley's friend, Alex, it'll take your mind off him because I can see how much this is affecting you. I know now that this is the reason why you haven't been wanting to hang out but if you go on the date you have a chance to get your mind off this guy and you might even have the chance to make him jealous, I mean not that you should but maybe you can find out if he likes because of this." She rambles on from the other line.

I comprehended everything she said and thought about it. I mean what bad can it be if Louis even gets slightly jealous; which I doubt he would but still it's worth a shot. It'll just be one or two dates, nothing much right? And plus it's gonna keep my mind off him.

I hesitated before replying to Zara with the words I thought I'd never say.

"How does tomorrow night sound?"

Woah hey guys! Yeah that's happening lol. This isn't gonna be another Connor situation just so you know but yeah. The guy that's gonna play Alex with be Austin Butler and he'll be the only American one in the story. Comment you thoughts!