Colors (Sequel)

Chapter 61

"This could be the end of everything, so why don't we go to somewhere only we know?"

Daphney's P.O.V

Today's the day.
I'm telling Louis today.
No more backing out, no more excuses; this was it, today was the day that he'd find out I was pregnant.

Words couldn't describe how nervous and anxious I was. My palms have been clammy, I've been dizzy, my stomach cramping, the skin around my nails gnawed off, the persistent lump in my throat that just wouldn't go away. This was only the physical aspect.

My mind was a mess. My head felt compressed; my mind entwined like vines, millions of vines. Each of them was their own thought, their own worry, and they all connected from one to the other. Some thoughts were louder than their counterparts but nonetheless, every worry in my mind was going off at the same time making me feel nauseated and like I was going to die.

A thought that consoled me though was the fact that I knew it wasn't entirely my fault. I kept putting the blame on myself but I didn't know that my body wouldn't react to the birth control in the way that I wanted. It was a risk that Louis and I took when we agreed to start sleeping with each other. All the contraceptives in the world contain a minuscule percentage that I can still get pregnant. It was a chance we took and we unfortunately beat the odds, we became the minuscule percentage.

Maybe I did carry more fault than him. I could've gotten this situation 'taken care of' but I just couldn't bring myself to do so. Perhaps it was weak on my part but after I heard the heartbeat, I couldn't. I personally couldn't bring myself to do such thing.

So here I was, it was maybe 7:30 PM. A half hour left of worrying to go. I spent the past 24 hours at home, restless. I hadn't slept all day, I hadn't eaten all day; if I could, I would've been through my 5th box of cigarettes by now and halfway through a bottle of any hard liquor, but of course I would never while pregnant.

I awaited here at home, dreading yet slightly anticipating telling Louis cause maybe then I could get over this. Zara had stopped by just now to check up on me and bring my some food. I sat on the stool by my small kitchen counter, staring blankly at the wall. My body and mind were in such distress at this point that I couldn't comprehend anything.

"If you're not gonna eat, can you at least drink some water?" Zara pleads. She'd be leaving before Louis got here but like previously stated, she came to check up on me. She wanted to see if I was going to ditz out on Louis.

"If I drink that water, We both know that I'll just vomit it back up." I tell her bluntly. She frustratingly ran her hands through her hair but she didn't say anything. I think in this moment she knew that she couldn't speak because she had no idea what to say or what I was going through, all she could do was lend her support. I thank her for that, not many people would.

"How are you going to tell him?" She asks me. I think she wanted to see if I had a plan.

I'd been reciting the many different ways I'd tell him for the past 24 hours. I could sugar coat it; talk to him sweetly, trying to stall as much time as a human possibly can before telling him, or I could be blunt. Have him walk in the house and just tell him then and there, "Hey,  I'm pregnant, surprise!". I decided on an approach that would be between the two.

"I was thinking that he'd walk in and we'd had small talk for just a little while, not too long. Offer him a glass of water or something. Then go sit down on the couch together and tell him..." I say to Zara, still looking at her just a bit blankly as mind wouldn't shut off.

She nodded her head, agreeing with me. I think it was the best plan that I could come up with.

"And what words would you say...?" Zara trails off, nervously. She was trying to tread a thin line to not make me even more anxious.

I sighed before speaking up. I'd recited this monologue in my head at lest a million times, picking at every word.

"Something like 'what I'm going to say is hard and I just want to say I'm sorry before, this wasn't my plan and I'm scared out of my mind...I'm pregnant.' Or along those lines" I tell Zara. I wanted it to sound like me when I told him, not some monotone robot. I'd be honest on my feeling and hopefully it would maybe make him feel less alone when he found out, as stupid as it sounds. I'm trying to preserve his feeling but not to the point that I'm coddling him.

Zara just nodded and mumbled, "that's good."

I nodded in reply as my hand went to my temples, rubbing both sides, trying to subside the headache I had. I felt like death, I had the sharpest pangs throughout my body all day, especially in my stomach area, like amplified period cramps. I've always felt queasy when I was nervous and now I was nervous to a degree I'd never been to in my life. It made me feel dizzy and weak. I'd probably faint as I told Louis.

"Daphney, you look really pale. I think you should eat something." Zara said marking at how flushed I'd looked. I hadn't looked at myself in the mirror but she's probably right, I felt like shit so I must've looked the part.

"I'd just throw it up. I think maybe I should lay down while I wait for him to get here." I mumbled to Zara who didn't disagree. She just smacked her lips and nodded.

"You know what's best for your body. I can't tel you what to do. I'm gonna head out, it's almost eight. Call me if you need anything." She says as she grabbed her bag from the counter.

I stood up ready to walk her out but I guess I had gotten up so fast that I almost blacked out, but I quickly recovered before Zara could notice.

I turned around in front of Zara, beginning to walk towards the door as she assembled things in her bag. That was until I guess she looked up and I heard her gasp.

"Daphney, oh my god..." she said out loud but not screaming, just worried.

I begin to turn around towards her as soon as she spoke but felt a bit dizzy.

"Daphney you're bleeding... oh god, oh god..." She said fast in horror but also not trying to frighten me. She quickly went to go grab me. I began to lose balance though, the second her arms went to go grab me I felt myself begin to blackout and fall on the ground.

My eyesight was blurred, seeing black spots everywhere before I eventually blacked out. Everything happened so fast I couldn't even comprehend or worry about what was happening.

All I remember hearing was Zara's voice screaming, as she hurried to the floor. I fully knocked out when she was calling 999 for an ambulance.