Colors (Sequel)

Chapter 38

"And she was close, close enough to be your ghost."

3 years ago, September 17th, 10:09 pm

Louis' P.O.V (this chapter is going to be about the one year anniversary of Daphneys and Louis' breakup, three years ago)

It's been a year and since she left, today. A year since I've seen her face. A year since I've heard her giggle and seen her smile. A year since I've felt her skin on mine. A year since I've woken up with her lying next to me. One year since I've heard her say 'I love you, Lou.' For the last time.

And of course here I am, on the day that I've last seen her, moping. This year has been hell. For the first three months when she left, I hadn't even bothered leaving my house, meaning I'd have to take online courses for my classes online. I didn't eat much and drank a lot until Liam, Niall, and Harry had knocked me into my senses and forced me out of the house. Then the following four months after that, I left the house, but feeling numb inside. Feeling like I've laid in an ice bath for hours, and my body and mind had gone completely numb. Basically a walking zombie. Then the next four months consisted of me trying to find a grasp over my senses which I ended up getting, but still having that feeling in the background slowly building up. I'd go out with friends, visit my family, and such but then the last two months came, A.K.A now, when everything sort of just exploded.

Now these past eight weeks consisted of falling back into everything I used to do. Going to clubs and parties, drinking until I was numb. Sleeping with an endless amount of girls hoping I'd find something or her in them but nothing. I wake up in random houses with random girls, smashed out of my mind, and then repeating the same cycle, just hoping and praying I'd find her in one of these girls, but I'd always just end up disappointed when I woke up knowing it wouldn't happen. The only thing that has really helped me cope in the past year was writing. Everything consisted of sad poems or nostalgic stories but it'd help me cope.

I sighed as I finished buttoning up my shirt in the mirror getting ready to go hang out at Liam's place with the lads and some of Sophia's friends.

I ran my hands messily through my hair, making it shaggy, and then finished buttoning up the wrist cuffs of the long sleeved shirt.

I then walk away from the mirror that was in my living room, and grabbed my car keys off the counter, and stuffing my phone in my back pocket.

I also grabbed a cigarette out of the box in pocket and then lighting it with the lighter before putting it back and then walking out the front door and locking it with my keys.

I took a drag of the cigarette as I walked down my porch and onto my cobble stone parking lot, and unlocking the car door.

I quickly got in and started the car, also rolling down the window so I don't hotbox the cigarette.

I let out a breath of smoke as I sat in the car. Alps by Novo Amor & Ed Tullet played in the background.

I wonder if she felt the same, I mean obviously I don't want her hurting like I am. How selfish and stupid would that be? I just wonder if she misses me, or if she wishes things didn't end like this. I don't want her to be sad, I want her to be the happiest than she can be but, fuck, I hope she still loves me, or at least still has love for me. Of course there wouldn't be any use to it because we were never going to be together again but it'd give me closure if I knew that.

I quickly sigh as I took another drag of the cigarette and started driving, backing out of my driveway and onto the road.