Helpless

Awaken

(This chapter is from Louis' Eyes)

"Wha..."
A small, pink tongue was gliding over my bruised cheeks and forehead. My eyes were sticky with snow as I opened them after the tongue disappeared. Jay was crouched over me, her fluffy tail draped over my blood-stained chest. There was snow everywhere around both of us, and I sat up, pain squeezing my left side. It hurt... a lot. I heard my own screams echoing in my mind, the sound of my skin being torn off of my side. I gagged just thinking of it. My left side looked mutated... it was ripped, torn and bloody, flesh and bone showing. Shit, I looked like a zombie, and a hungry bear could smell me miles away. Why do I always have to get in the most fucked up messes?
"Thanks," I muttered as Jay licked my bloody flesh clean. Most people would think that was disgusting, yet I thought it was helpful. At least the wound wouldn't be infected. Jay nodded in understanding, her nose trailing gently along the open flesh. I smiled, grateful to have the fox, but only seconds later I broke into hysterical sobs, thinking of my Glitterbaby and how he might be dead, and how much my heart ached for him... I love him so much, and I might never see his gorgeous face again... it hurts losing the one you love more than life itself...
Just thinking of him made more tears stream down my cheeks, and I pulled out the picture of our wedding gently. One corner was soaked in blood, and I sniffed sadly. Where was my baby now? Was he gone, or was he like me, stranded out in the open, looking for his husband... like me?
"Do you love anyone?" I decided to ask the small fox, even though she probably didn't understand me. Jay tilted her head to a side and studied my face, full of hot tears and messed up hair. I still don't get how this hair gel has stayed on through the bath in the river and the avalanche, and especially all of my crying. Jay just barked like a dog and sat up, spinning in a circle. I chuckled softly before frowning again, missing Harry. An idea suddenly dug its way into my mind, and I decided to say them aloud.
"If I could fly ... I'd be coming right back home to you ..." I whispered silently in a sing-song voice. Jay stopped spinning around and sat down next to me, cocking her head to a side, listening to myself sing. "I think I might... Give up everything just ask me to ..." Jay's whiskers twitched. "Pay attention I hope that you listen, yeah..." I nodded, starting to like the new lyrics. If I ever meet up with the band again, we could all record this and sell it on an album! But I doubt that'd happen, seeing I was laying in the middle of a pile of snow, my side ripped up and bloody. How the hell could I be singing while being extremely injured?
"Cause I lost my Guard down... Right now I'm completely defenseless! For your eye only... I'll show you my heart!" Jay began to sway back and forth as if she was human. I continued to sing with all of my heart, thinking of Harry, thinking of my life slowly dying away from me. "For when your lonely and forget who you are! I'm missing half of me! When we're apart ... Now you know me for your eyes only.... For Your eyes only ...." Jay's ears were perked up at the high octaves, and I decided to name the song.
"Does If I Could Fly sound okay to you?" I pet the fox's head gently, and she chirped playfully. I grinned, taking that at a yes.
"I've got scars even they can't always be seen, and pain gets hard but now you're here I don't feel a thing, pay attention I hope that you listen cause I let my guard down.... Right now I'm completely defenseless, for your eyes only.. I show you my heart." Jay was listening intently. "For when your lonely ... And forget who you are ... I'm missin half of me... When we're apart... Now you know me for your eyes only !" I tried to stand, and somehow succeeded. My side stung with excruciating pain, but I sang... still. "I can feel your heart inside of mine! I've been going out of my mind!" I made an imaginary band in my mind, Harry back to back with me singing, Niall on guitar, Zayn hitting his high notes , and Liam dancing around being a goofball...
"Know that I'm just wasting time and I... Hope that you don't run from me ... For your eyes only !" Jay was staring up at me with wonder, her eyes shining like the eyes of my young fans. "I show you my heart for when you lonely.... And forget who you are I'm missing half of me.... When we're apart..... Now you know me for your eyes only! For your eyes only! I show you my heart... For when you lonely... And forget who you are ... I'm missin half of me-e-e ! Now you know me... For you eyes only....for your eyes only..... For your eyes only." Jay stood on her back legs and wailed, not in a distressed way, but almost like she was cheering. I smiled, taking a small bow, only to gasp and fall over. Jay squeaked and leapt to a side as I toppled onto the spot where she was before. I let out a loud 'umph!' as I slammed to the ground, my open flesh brushing against the ground, burning terribly.
"How am I going to get anywhere with this injury..." I choked out, my breaths coming short as tears started welling in my eyes. "I'm helpless..."
Jay snarled, staring at the sky. "What..." I looked up, just to gape.
An eagle was circling both of us, far above our heads.
It was going to come down and eat us both!