As luck would have it (bondi rescue fanfic)

debrief

the light was filtering through the curtains, I watched in dance along the walls and bounce off objects. I still had my head on Jesse's chest and his arms were still around me, except he had fallen asleep whilst I couldn't. Every time I closed my eyes I saw their faces so I had been awake since 11:00 last night when I woke up from the nightmare.

I looked up at Jesse who had his head tilted sideways whilst he slept, he looked so calm and peaceful. Jesse began to stir in his sleep and soon after his eyes began to flutter open, he rubbed his eyes before looking down to my head on his chest.

" morning, did you get any sleep?" he asked groggily

" no, I couldn't drop off" I said lifting my head off his chest, my neck ached with the change in position 

" we don't have to work today, but we are going in for a debrief with everyone who was involved with the retrieval, that's at 11:00" Jesse said sitting up against the headboard. I sat forward and nodded " ok"

I climbed out of bed and walked out the bedroom and down to the kitchen, I put the kettle on, I desperately needed a coffee to wake myself up " do you want a coffee!" I yelled to Jesse who was in the bedroom

"please" he yelled back, I heard the bed creak as he got out of bed. I got the mugs ready and made the coffee, I carried the mugs into the living room and set them down on the table, I switched on the TV and sat down on the sofa. I put the news on and was watching it when a picture of Bronte beach came up on screen then the headline ' deaths at bronte', I quickly flicked over the channel to masterchef, I needed to forget the ordeal after today. I walked into my room and got in the shower, I tried to clear my thoughts but I couldn't " snap out of it" I muttered to myself.

I got dressed I a t shirt and shorts as we weren't working after the debrief, I walked out to see Jesse on the sofa in a black t shirt and shorts, I smiled at him and he stood up, turned off the TV, and we walked out the apartment ready to go to bondi.

we drove along with the radio on and pulled up at bondi. we walked to the pavilion where maxi,whippet, bacon and Kerrbox were, they were waiting for hoppo and deano. we walked up to them and I was greeted with hugs, deano put his head around the door " you ready guys"

we all walked in and sat down at the chairs in hoppo's office. the last time I was in his office was the first day I started at bondi.

" so how are you all doing?" Deano asked looking around at us all, there were a few murmers and noises but no full answers

" Simba, how are you?" deano asked softly " I know that was your first retrieval , they are always the hardest but it will get easier"

" it was hard to sleep last night actually" I mumbled " they will always be hard but its the fact I saw it happen and didn't do anything"

" that could have been anything, there's only a small chance that it was them" bacon said putting his hand on my arm. I nodded, I needed to realise that it wasn't my fault, I needed to toughen up, the boys weren't acting like this and they have seen loads of deaths and I didn't even know these people, why was I acting this way! 

" yeah it could have been anything" I sighed and released the feeling of guilt from me.

we spent about 45 minutes in hoppo's office, just going over stuff, talking really did help. After the briefing I felt a lot better and less guilty, maybe tonight I would be able to sleep.

Me and Jesse went for a walk along the walkway after the debrief, we strolled along next to each other, just watching the bustle of activity on the beach, and I felt calm and free. 

sorry its short and not great but I have a big dramatic twist coming up in the next few days so you have that to look forward too!

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