30 Day Letter Challenge

Day Seven, Ex - Something or Other

    Dear Jay,

               I really don't apprieciate you acting like a stranger to me. We've known each other for at least six years, so that's bull. We were together for almot two. I get that it might be awkward, but it wouldn't be if you didn't just stop coming around out of no where ok. That just proved to your sister that you being around all that time was just because of me. Pretty messed up of you if I do say so myself.

              I'll start by saying you were pretty awful to me. I only put up with it because I didn't know any better. I was skinny as hell and you always called me a cow, and somehow found a way to make fun of my weight. Then you would complain about how I thought little of myself, hello, your fault. I mean, honestly, you were constantly down my throat about everything I did. But if I was mad at you, that was a problem. Everytime I decided I was mad enough to not talk to you I got cold shouldered until we would have some deep talk about of we should break up or not, over some tiny little thing. You definitely have a temper. You actually attacked my dad once now that I think about it.. right after Easter that year. It's funny that I was ok with it, I was just worried about not being able to see you. There's no way you can deny I was an awesome girlfriend like that.

             I remember when we were together, you would call me and run down my minutes all the time. I never complained, but you would always tell me you would pay for it. Of course, I would never let you pay for something that I was perfectly fine with. Even if we were just talking about nothing. We were always together, we was tight like peanut butter and fluff. We stuck together (get it, two sticky things). Yeah, so I've always been corny, but you could be worse sometimes. You had told me you would love me forever, you can't tell me that's not the cheesiest thing ever. You were convinced we would grow up have kids, even knew what kind of dogs we would have. I could never tell if you were serious or not. I really think you were, but thought I would be freaked out if you straight out told me you were serious. Sometimes it really amazes me when I think about those times, then where we stand today.

            I mean, it seems like way back when. You waited for me so long to be comfortable with kissing, you were the type who just wanted to hold me, just wanted me to act like your girlfriend. I guess that was a problem you always had with me, I was too casual with you. So, that made you waay over protective. You threatened my friends, even got annoyed when you were there with me. You didn't need to be so jealous, for the record it was always you. Even when I didn't seem sure, looking back, it was always you. There's no denying it. We just have so much history, and at the time I ultimitly wouldn't have given it up for anything. If it was up to just me that is.

           See, how we ended was something I never would've expected from you. Ok, the breakup, yes, the story behind why, no. You broke up with me by saying, "You know this is pretty much over, right?" I just meekly said, "Yes." Then you proceeded to tell me when we were alone that you had fallen for someone else, that you were sure of it, and that is just wasn't the same with me. I proceeded to just be like fine whatever, it should've occured to you that I would've rathered not known. The rest of the night was hug central for us, you tried to get me to take pictures with you. It was the fourth of July for those of you who don't know. I refused, why would I want to specifically remember that night? At the time I was even holding back tears. Sometimes you could be so insensitive. Right after that you asked me if I was going to throw out all my pictures of us, and everything you ever gave me. "Of course not", I said, "I'm not a freaking phsycopath." Really. You also had the nerve, just like you always said you would, to ask for my necklace back. I told you I lost it, trufully, a while before that I broke it into pieces and made sure to throw a good portion away so I would never be able to put it back together, even if I wanted to. I did that a while before when you "jokingly" broke up with me. Such an a**hole.

            So, Cee, you already know the rest of the story, but they don't. The chick he was "in love" with treated him like crap, was evil, cheated, broke up with him continuously, depressed him to almost no return, and took his virginity. How's them apples? Well, I guess, sorry I wouldn't have sex with you if that's what you really wanted, dude. That's just not me. By the way, stop falling in love so much, it's reaaally not heathly. You fall for every girl you're interested in. No, you be trippin.

           On a not so hostile note, you aren't thaaat bad. I'm always gunna care for you, of course. How could I not? I wish you would talk to me though, you have a wall up, and no one gets through. That really hurts, you know? I mean, how much closer could we have gotten? I have your old dog because you couldn't keep him where you moved. Your oldest sister is someone I see all the time, one of the only adults I can actually open up to. I've always known your family. I miss you, Charles. And you suck, because it's all your fault.

                      Mel