BULLIED

Submission 825

Hi! I'm Emily. I'm just gonna say, this might be a really long entry.

So it's been going on ever since I can remember. I've always been pretty sensitive. When somebody says something rude to me, or something that an average person might be able to shake off, it lingers in my chest. I get so frustrated with people to the point where I can't function right.

My sister is the lead cause of it. She is always, and I mean ALWAYS, picking fights with me. She acts really immature and copies everything I say like four year olds do. She makes fun of me for who I like, for how I talk, how I sing (even though, if you ask me, her voice isn't much different than mine), etc. It makes my day so crappy. I cry myself to sleep a lot when I've had a bad day or I am stressed out because everybody puts all their crap on me. When I get in the middle of my mom and my sister having fights, I get stressed because they are both yelling and it gives me headaches. I want to curl up and just stay there forever.

And another leading cause of my sucky life is the loneliness. I can't stand it. I literally feel like I'm the only person. I get so lonely that sometimes I just sit there and cry. Sometimes I cut myself with the sharp end of this nail file I have. I k is lots of people cut themselves, but the hardest part is that my parents don't ever suspect that I'm like this. They always just assume that I'm fine and don't care if I seem sad. My sister is always sarcastic and she makes fun of my body. She says that my puberty is behind and says that my chest is tiny for my age. I get really scared that she's gonna hurt me because she chased me with a knife when I was seven and I have a sharp memory so I relive that moment whenever I'm reminded of it.

People in my class call me weird. They call me ugly and annoying. It makes me feel weak and useless, and even more lonely. My sister makes fun of who I have a crush on. Well, who I used to have a crush on. But I'm bi, and I still haven't told my family because I have no idea how they'd react. My sister probably wouldn't be find of the idea. I'm too scared to tell anybody. When I get picked on, I feel even more lonely. Nobody gets me. The person I have a crush on is really pretty and sweet and amazing, but she is dating somebody else and they are pretty serious. I could never tell her, but she is actually one of my close friends. I see her every day, which makes it even harder. I want to tell her, but I can't because I don't want her to hate me. And she might be bi too, but she's further into relationships than I am. She kisses her boyfriend all the time, while I haven't even dated yet. I have no idea what to do, and my parents still haven't noticed me acting like this. Not that I would tell them anyways, but they should at least notice when I haven't been wanting to eat or when my eyes get watery because I am thinking of my crush. They don't. They don't ever see me, and for all I know, they never will.

Hey guys, thanks if you actually read this the whole way through. If you are bullied, I won't lie, times get really tough. So it's important to feed yourself positive thoughts toward you and to shake off what anybody says.