BULLIED

Story 286

My story isn't the most depressing or worst, I don't even know if you could call it bulling. But it hurt, a lot. I'm Zoey, and I'm twelve. that's all I'd like to state about myself. It started in kindergarten, nothing major. I moved a lot, which made it better and worse. Before this, I was always a happy-go-lucky child.

So in kinder, like I said nothing major, friends and classmates would go around singing, "Zoey, the Rednose Reindeer" because I had, well a red nose. I didn't really understand bullying or this type of pain. I only thought pain was when you fell and scrapped your leg. So I laughed along, making it seem like people could walk all over me.

Skipping to third grade, I had moved four hours away. immediately, I made a 'friend'. Well, about half way through the year, I realized friend was rude. She would always make remarks about me. I ended up finding Bestfriend1. It felt like us against the world. In reality, it was use against class. I remember getting a threat from friend that I had to be her friend or else. At this time, I was very aware of what bullying was. So In music class when bully called bestfriend1 a hippo, I was infuriated, but I was a scared little girl and kept my mouth shut. Boy I wish I would have said something, but I didn't. I'm happy I was there to comfort bestfriend1 at the least.

Fifth grade, I had a few incidents, but I had friends that stuck with me. Sadly, I had moved four hours away again, and bestfriend1 and I lost touch. I became closer to another girl, bestfriend2, who is still my bestfriend now. I got called fat and ugly a lot, and just like in third grade, I kept my mouth shut. I took my pain out with writing songs, drawing, and writing books.

Sixth grade was easy. I stopped hanging out with popular people, and started hanging out with my own people, nerds. I don't think nerd is a bad thing. I was called a nerd, but that just made me smile. But this time, I wasn't the victim. Friend hadn't always seemed so depressed. She was happy, quirky , like myself that year. All of a sudden, she stopped talking, stopped dancing, stopped making silly faces. She ended up sitting alone at times. I wasn't worried until she came to school with little white lines going down her arm. I told her, "You don't need to harm yourself. Don't let them win. You're worth more." I told her to draw, or something.

My final experience was this summer, in the past two months, it has been happening. I'd never even think about harming myself, until now. It hurts to be bullied, but it's ten times worse when it's your own brother. My brother and I were always close, until we started fighting this summer. Now everyday he calls me fat, ugly, stupid. At first he would smile to show he was joking. Now, he says it with a serious tone and look on his face. People know I get called fat, nobody knows it's by my brother. I use to be fat, but now I'm twenty pounds under weight. I've actually considered starving myself.

A few days ago, I told him I wasn't fat. His response was a to circle around his stomach motioning a big gut. A tear streamed down my face and I tried to run away but he grabbed my shoulders and pulled me back. He was laughing, he found my pain amusing. I kicked and tried to get away. He pinned me up against a wall and said, "It was a joke, you're a crybaby, think of what I've been through!" I ran to my room. He has been through a lot, but he doesn't have to drag me to Hell with him. As of right now, I'm barley speaking to him.

I was always too scared to cut myself with a knife. When I ran to my room, I grabbed a tack and kept going over one spot until I bled. I got mad and jammed the tack into the ground. When it hit the ground, I collapsed into tears. I got on my bed, and watched Youtube, a source that kept me going.

The cuts I make are small. They bleed, swell, then heal. They don't scare nobody will know. They heal, and I'm happy-go-lucky Zoey again. I have thought about killing myself to make my brother see what he put me through, to make him see he hurt me. But I will not consider it. I'm the closest one to my mom and I wont put her through that. I won't put bestfriend2 through that. The only thing I want, is my brother back. Soon enough, I might run, far far away.

I want to tell bestfriend2 I want to tell someone, but I don't want sympathy. I want understanding. So I will read this book, to know I'm not alone. I'm not the perfect, happy-go-lucky girl that I come off as. Everyone has a darker side, this is mine.

Help others, because this hurts. This is the worst pain I've ever felt. No one deserves this pain.