BULLIED

Submission 643

Let me start off by saying I'm a naturally shy person; I prefer to sit back and observe things rather than be the loudest one in the room. I don't think there's anything wrong with being more shy and quiet versus more loud and outgoing; everyone has a different personality, and that's what makes the world go round.

Anyway, since it was the second half of the semester, we had to which lab partners. So I mustered up the courage to ask a girl in the room (GIRL1) if I could be her lab partner. I'd talked to her before briefly, and she seemed nice. She was really kind and said sure. Turns out she already had a lab partner though, GIRL2; when GIRL2 came into the room, and found out I was working with her and GIRL1 she acted like it was fine, but it was obvious that she wasn't happy about it. But we were allowed to work in groups of two or three, so she couldn't really say no. There's a part of me that thinks it was a race thing (since both GIRL1 and GIRL2 are white, and I'm black), and there's another part of me that thinks that she just has her social circle and doesn't want me to have any part of it.

So, GIRL1, GIRL2, and I ended up doing the first lab together, and it was ... rough. First off, GIRL2 acted as though I wasn't even there. GIRL1 and GIRL2 were sitting next to each other, while I was on the end of the table; I was sitting closest to GIRL2, and whenever GIRL2 figured out a calculation she would just say the answer softly to GIRL1 and try to keep moving on without me. I definitely felt overwhelmed because I was falling behind, and they were just going on with the lab without me. Exclusion isn't fun for anyone.

Then while we were doing the actual experiment, it was obvious that she didn't want me to help, so while I tried to give my input, whenever I got "too close to her space" she asked me to move further away because she needed more space. I was nowhere near her personal bubble, in fact GIRL1 was closer to her than I was (and yet she never asked her to move over/back up). It had gotten to the point where she kept asking me to move and I could no longer see what was going on in the experiment or what part they were on. Talk about feeling unwanted ... but being the shy person I am, I just complied.

I think what pissed me off the most was when her demeanor changed once the teacher came over. She would always twist her hair and giggling when asking him if "we" were doing the experiment right. Then the teacher told me that I needed to get closer, because I couldn't help/see what was going on where I was (which I knew!). I began to say "Well she ..." and then I stopped myself once GIRL glared at me.

"What?" GIRL2 said, staring at me with dagger eyes—if looks could kill...

I just said never mind, because I didn't think it was worth it. I was going to have to work with her for another six or so weeks, so it wasn't worth causing more tension than there already was. I already felt miserable, the teacher already didn't seem to particularly like me, and she was a kiss ass towards the teacher anyway; so what would I gain if I actually said how I felt anyway?

Then once the teacher walked away, she started demanding that I do certain parts of the lab; parts that I wasn't sure how to do. "Didn't you go to the Lab Library?" GIRL2 asked. I told her no, because I didn't have time that day. The Lab Library was an optional place that a student could go to before lab in order to practice using the equipment. Granted, I didn't appreciate her demanding tone, I didn't mind trying to figure out the part of the lab she wanted me to do (that's the whole point, right? Are we supposed to be learning as we go?) she just scoffed and said she'd do it herself. I probably would have slowed her down if she'd given me a chance. I felt stupid.

I ended up in tears after that lab was over. How I managed to hold them back during lab, I don't know. But I did. And it sucked to know I'd probably go through it again next week.

Next week arrived sooner than I wanted it to. GIRL1 sweetly said hi to me when she entered the room, and I said hi back. She was really nice, and I wished that I was just working with her. But I wasn't. Then in came GIRL2, who I dreaded having to work with again. But there was another lab group sitting across the table from us this time, which only consisted of BOY1 that day. BOY1 had a partner, but his partner was absent that day. GIRL2 acted all sweet and caring, asking BOY1 if his partner was here; BOY1 said no. Immediately, without hesitation, GIRL2 looked at me and asked me to work with him. I just nodded my head, annoyed that she had volunteered me. Did I mind working with the boy? No, of course not; granted, I tend to be even more shy around boys, but I didn't mind. With that said, it wasn't GIRL2's job to make sure he had a partner and it wasn't her job to nominate me as tribute; she should have nominated herself. Hell, there were a few other groups of three in the room; why didn't she nominate one of those people? It seemed less like she was trying to help him, and more like she was trying to get rid at me as soon as possible.

Anyway, long story short (well, shorter...sorry this is so long), I ended up working with BOY1 and we both actually worked together and learned as we went through the lab. We ended up with an awesome grade on that lab, the best grade I got all semester, even though we were both nervous about it. I ended up continuing to work with BOY1 and his partner once he came back, for the rest of the semester; luckily BOY1's partner was totally cool with it. GIRL2 barely even spared me a glance (until she was stuck on one part of the lab and was asking our group for the answer...though even then, she didn't even look at me, she looked at BOY1's original partner since he was the oldest and most outgoing in our group). She acted as if I'd never worked with her, which I was grateful for since I didn't want to go back to working with her. Ever.

So I guess every cloud has a silver lining; that bitch actually did us both a favor (although the principle of treated me like crap still annoys me).

This story isn't the worst bullying story in this book by any means, but I hope that it makes people think about how they treat others. Words can hurt. Actions can hurt. People can hurt. So just be careful with how you act around others.

Thanks for listening to my story.