BULLIED

Submission 565

It all started around 3-4 years back when I was 11-12 years old. I was mildly depressed at that time because I had moved from one city to another and had transferred schools. I'd made two good friends, but I fucked it all up when I met two other girls (I go to an all girls school) who I thought then were way cooler, but in the end the two supposedly 'cool' girls fucked me up and stayed friends with each other, throwing me cold looks in the hallways, calling me names, asking all of our mutual friends to stay away from me and insult me. I was alone for one whole year. No one wanted to be my friend. But, gradually, a year or two later, they found other things to do and left me alone. I started making friends again, and I was happy. I started eating a little more than I should've and in no time, I was fat. My family started to tease me and calling me names, and when I told them to stop, they just told me that they would if I would reduce my weight and that I shouldn't feel bad because they're family and they're saying all this for my own good. What they didn't know, was that's what hurt more. That they're my family. They're supposed to comfort me and encourage me instead of constantly insulting me and discouraging me. Then slowly even my friends started to tease me. My best friend calls me 'Fatty' for God's sake! They say it in an endearing way and not with intentions to hurt me but I can't help but feel all the more hurt. I've cried myself to sleep for God knows how many times now. There're small cut marks scattered all over my body. I try to be indiscreet about it, because I obviously don't want my family to know, so they're on my calves, thighs, shoulders, upper arms, etc. I am very, very, very insecure now. I don't feel beautiful at all. I know I'm not beautiful. I'm not even remotely pretty. Now, I'm 15 and can't wear shorts, dresses, sleeveless because it'll for sure look like a potato sack in a dress. I thought it would stop. The insulting and hating. But, I was wrong. It still hasn't.