BULLIED

Submission 624

So, hello all. I'm a male secondary school student from somewhere in the Southern Hemisphere. I'll leave it to ~somewhere in the Asia-Pacific region~. I don't know how many stories have a male perception, as I've only read the first 40 stories of the "Bullied" publication.

I don't know how many stories discuss male-on-male relationships in terms of bullying, but it happens frequently and needs to be discussed more, needs to be made more apparent to society. I will also contest the use of the word "teasing." It's patronising, in a way, and could discourage someone from speaking up. Like, "pphft, it's only teasing, man. It's not ~that~ bad."

Personally, I'm not referring to physical altercations. I'm talking about "roasting," or perhaps otherwise known as "banter." This is a strange phenomenon, I think, and despite what the perpetrator may think, or whatever their intentions may be, it is a form of bullying. It's undercover, kind of, because of how people treat it.

I detest this culture, and I have been subjected to it. That's why I'm here, after all.

I'll start from the start. Perhaps that's best.

If I knew how to continue, I would, but I have no idea where to start anyway. I grew up in a good, normal environment, my parents cared, and my schools actually didn't tolerate bullying. Pretty average, huh?

Not all is at it seems, though. I live in a disadvantaged area, one of the worst in the state and probably in the country too. My parents went to a "special school" and so, I'm sure you can imagine some issues with that too. They work rather typical jobs kind of expected from someone employed in the region (it's a manufacturing hub, but has a high unemployment rate because some companies decided to go elsewhere.

So, with some background information about me and where I am currently living, let my story commence.

So, in primary school, bullying was more or less a minor issue. In years 3 and 4, there were some altercations that were sorted out. It was probably interacting with students from elsewhere, whom were often "tough" and part of a culture that emphasised vandalism and everything else you could imagine, which bred a really poor attitude that I was intimidated by.

At school, I really couldn't fit in. I was one that didn't really "conform" to any kind of friendship group, and I'd often stray between a few, often failing to be able to make friends with them for no other reason except me and for what I was. It was small too; only 20 students graduated from my year, and this is a school in the suburbs.

In high school, my early attitude probably reflected what I experienced during primary school. I was shy, anxious, unwilling to speak up and generally unable to function adequately in anything else except a small group. Still, I was overshadowed. Yet again, I struggled to really make friends with anyone, and I was generally avoided because of who knows what, and I've never really had a functioning relationship with a girl "in real life" either, despite the few times I've tried.

That year I won the school writing competition, would you believe it. I was compared to students finishing their studies, or entering university. I learnt years later that some people were actually jealous of what I wrote too. All it was was a little Greco-Roman mythology in the point of view of a young boy, set in Ancient Greece.

So, there was this group of boys, really quite interesting collectively. I got along with them, they got along with me. Still, they cemented their relationships whilst I remained in the shadowy background, looking bitter and probably upset.

So it was with these boys that I would typically stick around. They'd gossip, make their rounds, suggest certain relationships. Yet, they'd often make sharp remarks, which were just disguised insults that would be based on "your mum," what you look like or your sexual orientation (they did make reference to homosexual people), mocking someone else, or create unfortunate nick names that stuck. Sometimes, I would participate, and I would brood when I received something especially scathing. Often I struggled to handle it, so I just walked off.

My nick name? I was called a paedophile, which was probably worst. They also made various nick names in relation to my Slavic heritage.

This continued on for approximately a year, and eventually, I fessed up to one of my teachers, whom sought out the wellbeing staff and insisted I talk to them. I did it a few times, and we mutually agreed to refer to it as "a point of irritation." She was awfully patronising, they all are. This was only resolved last year.

I don't totally agree with that either.

It also lead to a few confrontations. And me writing more expressively in a way of letting go of my frustration, part of the reason why I have Wattpad (@ Fractured By Design).

I don't know what else to write, really.

All these perceived "issues" I have contribute to how I feel now (awful and lonely, by the way), and perhaps my story is incomparable to any of yours, or anyone that's already posted on here. Perhaps it's already the same, but I just want to get this issue out there.