BULLIED

Story 359

I stood up from my desk and asked to go to the bathroom. The teacher smiled brightly and said, "of course!" I walked out of the room silently and was startled by the scene I saw in the hallway. Classmate was on the floor, shaking and crying with Bully1 and Bully2 standing over her. Bully1 leaned down and whispered, "Don't bother telling anyone, they all know you deserve it." Meanwhile, Bully2 was nudging Bully1's shoulder, saying, "Hey, Hey, look at that one." They laughed and said "Go back to class." Shoving Classmate one more time. I tried to move past them, but they did everything they could to stop me. And that's when it all started. For the next 3 years, all because I had to go to the bathroom, I would be picked on and shoved and kicked and laughed at until I no longer felt any pain. I let them continue, day to day waking up and being hurt. Never did I say anything, though, because why should I? They told me I deserved it and I was pathetic and worthless everyday it came to the point where I believed them. I knew I wasn't pathetic. I knew I wasn't worthless. But when the words rolled off their tongues so effortlessly and filled my ears, I started to think. Every time my mom was busy with work, I'd think, "I guess I am worthless. She won't pay attention to me." Every time my dad left early without saying goodbye and telling me he loves me, I'd tell myself, "No one loves me. My own father won't tell me he loves me. I'm pathetic." And everyday these Bully's tore me apart. They took every last hope I had and ripped it up in front of my face. I shook with fear the first few times they hurt me, but then.. Then I really felt it. I wasn't scared like I was when I was first Bullied. I was in pain now, and I felt it. I felt the shock in my side when they shoved me. I felt the pain in my arm when they grabbed me and threw me to the ground. But most of all, I felt the pain of their words. I wasn't scared to be called worthless, but I could feel it. I could feel their harsh tones and scratching voices pierce through my mind bringing me further and further away from the surface. They drowned me in agony and made me suffer. But why? Was it because of the clothes I wear? Was it because of the friends I chose? Was it because of me? Or was it because they felt pleasure from tearing my world apart. They tore me open and watched me suffer, laughing while I cried. They didn't know who I was, where I came from, what I wanted to do with my life, they just knew I was easy. I was easy to bring down. I was easy to hurt. I was small, and weak. I was pathetic.

For 3 years, I watched them spit on my face. For 3 years, they watched me shake. And for 3 years, they didn't care. Until the 3rd year of the pain. That 3rd year I did something so bad, something I could never take back. For 3 years, they stripped the life away from me. And on that day, July 29th, 2014, I let it all go. I watched my pathetic and worthless self fall 1000 feet backwards, and instead of climbing to the top again, I drowned myself in pain, and said, "No more." And it was all over. All because they thought it was fun to hurt me. Because they thought it couldn't hurt me, I was already pathetic enough. I went to the bathroom that day, and who knew that bathroom led me straight to heaven?

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This is the note my best friend wrote for me the day she took her own life. I wanted to share this because I thought she was the happiest girl in the world. She came to school every day with the brightest smile on her face. She never let that smile be torn off my anyone. Little did i know, she was smiling through suffering. She was in so much pain. My amazing, strong and beautiful best friend took her own life because they decided she was the one they'd tear apart and ruin for 3 years. Rest in Paradise, best friend.❤️

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I hope this can encourage you to stand up to bullying. I hope if you're getting bullied you will never let it get this far. You are amazing, beautiful and strong. Please speak up, never let them take anything away from your amazing self. And if you see someone getting bullied, I hope you speak up. You need to keep strong and stand up for anyone. Imagine if you were in their situation, with endless pain in your heart and words racing back and forth in your mind. Imagine if you felt nothing was ever going to change. Put yourself in their place. It can be hard to stand up and tell someone, but it's even harder to watch it continue and not do anything about it. Please stand up. Please speak out. Do as much as you can, because you could be saving someone's life.

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Stay strong everyone.