Mdzs Oneshots

déjà vu (it's not the snow i look forward to 1)

Lan Wangji loved Wei Wuxian. It didn't matter what world they were in, he simply did. How, would be a good question, one that Lan Wangji had never asked. He didn't need to, after all, not when they were attached to the hip. Wherever Wei Ying went, he followed.

Until he couldn't anymore.

He remembered the day when Wei Ying told him, a nervous smile on his face. It'd been a month away from graduation then, with acceptance letters and applications coming in. "Lan Zhan," his voice cracked, tinged with anxiety. Lan Wangji had barely looked up from his notes, notes that he'd been staring at and making more notes of, in preparation for their final exams. "What is it?"

"I...might not be going to the same University you are," Wei Wuxian answered. Wangji could tell he was fiddling his sleeves without looking up, but his head snapped up anyway. What? Wangji blinked, not quite registering the words. It wasn't that he hadn't heard him, he did, but after years of promising each other they'd go to the same school- "What?" The words left his lips before he could think, a mix of worry and disbelief tinging his voice.

Wei Ying winced hearing that, internally preparing himself for the storm that he knew would come after. "I...might not be going to the same University as you." He repeated, his voice dancing between the edge of uncertainty and determination. "There's another university I'm looking at, and..." his voice trailed off, unsure if he should continue. But Wangji knew better. He felt his stomach flip, the bubbling anger he'd buried under the surface rising up again, along with the familiar taste of acid in his throat. "She's going, isn't she?"

Wei Wuxian looked like a deer caught in headlights. He averted his gaze, knowing the moment he looked at his best friend, everything would be over. It'd taken him so much courage to get to this point, to finally decide to bite the bullet and just go. It wasn't like where he was going would be terrible- for the programme he wanted, it was one of the best, actually. Comparable to where he'd be if he stuck to the plan, maybe even better. It was just...maybe he was going simply because she was. It wasn't like there was any detriment to him, the school he'd be going to was just as prestigious as the one they'd planned to go to- but looking at Lan Wangji, Wei Ying couldn't help but wilt, the taste in his mouth going sour. "She is," he whispered softly, continuing to look anywhere but where he was. He couldn't quite pinpoint why, but he didn't need to look to know that Wangji was looking at him in disbelief. "But that's not exactly why I want to go- it has one of the best programmes for law-"

"So is the university we planned on going to," Wangji retorted back, unable to keep his composure any longer. "That we planned on going together," the last word was a whispered plea, and he couldn't help but feel like his heart was wilting, the same way a blossom was. He couldn't pinpoint the exact feeling, the way his heart tightened in his chest, the way it felt like his breath had been knocked out of him. Why do I feel this way? Why is it whenever she's mentioned, I just...wish I were her. Jealousy wasn't a feeling that came easily to Wangji, after all the years of training ingrained in him by his uncle. He was programmed to run otherwise. You're human, he could hear Wei Ying's voice, ringing through his mind again. You're human. You don't have to do as they say. You can be yourself. But standing in front of him now, Wangji wasn't sure what to think. It'd have been easier if he'd been a robot, easier if he'd run on whatever programme Lan Qiren set him up to carry out, without feeling. Instead, he could feel his heart twisting, could feel the feelings he'd shoved down his throat brimming to the surface, a confession on his lips.

"We had plans, Wei Ying." Wangji wasn't quite sure how his voice left him, and he sounded worn and tired even to his ears, maybe even hurt. He glanced exasperatedly at the younger boy, the anger in his veins suddenly dissipating.