Mdzs Oneshots

take your time (your name engraved in the bottom of my heart 2)

Your name's engraved in the bottom of my heart, Wei Wuxian. Would you come back to it, just one more time?

But the thoughts faded in and out as easily as they came, and this time, Wangji found himself falling.

Not again.

The thoughts came out in an unspoken torrent, and for a moment Wei Wuxian was next to him, again.

They were in the gardens, this time. The scent of incense seared through the air, despite the fact it was supposed to be a garden, and not a temple.

Not that it mattered much, not really.

Half of it just reminded Wangji of sacrilege. Like a way of masking the darkness lurking behind ever move of the Wen Clan. His leg still ached, but he ignored the pain. At least it'd seemed to dull these few days, unlike before.

"So..." Wei Wuxian whispered, breaking the silence, "How have you been?"

A simple question. A basic one, even, but somehow even that made a small smile break out across his face. Somehow he'd always had that effect on him, even if their circumstances weren't ideal. "Not great," he answered honestly, "but it could have been worse,"

"What happened?" Half of Wangji wondered if he'd already heard what'd happened, the other half didn't really mind, as long as they kept talking. "Raid," he answered tersely, glancing around to check for any Wen attendants. After making sure there were none, or any were out of earshot, he continued. "The Wens came to Cloud Recesses to accuse Qinheng-Jun. They accused him of...of abducting my mother and imprisoning her against her will," Wangji's voice was soft now, almost broken, more so than Wei Ying had ever heard it. Quietly, he weaves their fingers together, squeezing his tightly.

At that, Wangji seemed to relax, at least for a while. "Was that..." Wei Wuxian's voice trailed off, unsure.

But Wangji continued. "they razed the place to the ground, but we couldn't possibly let them destroy the artefacts, so Gege took them and fled, while I stayed to fight."

Half of Wei Wuxian knew it was possibly by choice, but he couldn't help the fury that burned in his veins hearing those words. We're sixteen, he thought. We shouldn't have to fight. Not this way. Almost odd, of sorts. Though some wanted to fight at the age of sixteen, it should be a choice, not a forced decision.

But the world they lived in was far from ideal, and all Wei Ying could do was open his arms in invitation.

To his surprise, Lan Zhan hugged him instantly. Wei Ying reciprocated the hug immediately, wrapping his arms around him to pull him closer.

"T-they-" but Wangji's voice choked off. His brain felt like it'd short-circuited somehow, like there were things he wanted to say, but nothing seemed to come out.

"You don't have to say it if you don't want to," Wei Ying whispered softly, letting his back softly. "Take your time. I'll be here,"

It was amazing what 3 simple words could do. I'll be here. The words felt like a soothing wave, crashing over Wangji in a sea of comfort, that seemed to thrum through him, encasing him in an odd sense of peace he hadn't felt in a long time.

If he was being honest, he couldn't quite remember a time when there'd been anyone else other than his brother and uncle.

But his brother was always busy, and his uncle...

Well, Lan Qiren was Lan Qiren. There wasn't much else to say about it, when everything in his life were rules, rules and more rules, that seemed to expand year after year somehow. Each one was driven carefully into his head by his uncle, to the point Wangji lost count of the number of lessons he'd had over the years, afternoons spent listening to his uncle's endless droning.

"You have to be perfect, Wangji. How can you be perfect if you can't even understand this? I want you to look closely, and tell me what you understand."

It was the same whether it was poetry, arithmetic or calligraphy. Whatever Shushu did was correct, and Wangji simply had to copy. It didn't matter if his own methods were faster, or his explanations more succinct, they simply had to be the same as Lan Qiren's. Anything else, and he would be punished. He honestly wondered how Lan Xichen had put up with it for so long, but anytime he'd told him, the answer had been the same.

"Just listen to him for now. Uncle knows best. He only wants the best for you," the words played over and over. But Wangji couldn't help feeling like a robot.

Like he wasn't to be human, but cold and unforgiving, unyielding. But more than anything else, he felt automated, running on whatever programme had been engraved into him. It didn't matter what he wanted, not really. It didn't matter what he thought.Instead, Wangji ran on a perpetual autopilot. He was alive, but not truly. Despite the words being synonyms, Wangji had always found that there was a difference between being alive, and living.

To be alive simply meant to survive. But living meant that most things mattered, that they meant something, even if you weren't always sure what it meant. So he simply bumbled, lost and without meaning.

Until he met him.

From the moment he stood across him on the rooftop, something in Wangji came to life. It wasn't that he looked different, though Wangji could have sworn that he was the prettiest man alive. But there was something about him, a vitality that drew Wangji to him like a moth drawn to flame. Maybe it was the glow of his eyes, the flush of his cheeks or the mischievous smile that adorned his face, glittering with such sheer brilliance that it was hard to look away. But more than anything, it was the hope in his eyes. The familiar yet alien whisper of hope, the quiet burning of the soul. He was glowing, yet everything within him seemed to be collapsing slowly. But he smiled with a radiance that was almost blinding, despite something about him that seemed to brew under the surface, an intensity not unlike Wangji's own.

He was an equal. Something Wangji had never seen before. Not because he found himself powerful, or unparalleled. But because there was always something simmering under the surface, unknown and uncared for, that was hard to find in the rest of the Lan Clan. Because despite the rules, most families managed to love each other, and show it. Somehow. If only...

But from the moment he met Wei Wuxian, something within him clicked. He might understand, Wangji thought, even though he wished he would never truly do so. It was too much misery, and he wouldn't wish it on anyone else, not even his worst enemies. But here Wei Wuxian was, simmering even as he fought.

And somehow fate brought them back here.

"I want to tell you, it's just- I'm not sure how to," Wangji looked up, half expecting to see Wei Wuxian's face turn sour, the same way Gege and Shushu's did whenever he found himself at a loss for words. Instead, he was simply met with a warm smile, and Wei Wuxian engulfed him back in a tight hug. Somehow while he was reminiscing, he managed to pull away.

It's okay, take your time. The words hung between them, unsaid. But Wangji felt them all the same. It was odd, yet incredibly comforting to know that someone felt this way. There was no stressing, no snarky remarks or scathing glances that commanded him to think twice, to reconsider and change. Instead, all there was was faith, whose existence Wangji had long since forgotten about. It was hard not to, with everyone turning their backs onone another in a heartbeat, for something as trivial as a new weapon. When people started slicing at each other with words instead of blades, dragging reputations and livelihoods through the mud as if they were nothing at all.

Wangji couldn't help but wonder what this new world would look like, but maybe he was already living in it. His stomach filled with dread at the thought of it, grounded only by the arms that surrounded him. Only Wei Ying could make a world like those feel safe.

But just as quickly as the memory appeared, it vanished, the warmth around Wangji disappearing, until he was left alone.

Again. 

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A/N: 1378 words! This update is probably long overdue- so sorry for taking so long to update, I've been...kinda working on a few stories lately, and I'm shifting to handwriting some updates, so it's been taking a while....and life's been kinda weird- how have you guys been? I know it's been a...pretty long while since I've updated, I hope you guys are doing well so far- ❤️ thank you so much for reading, and hope you guys enjoyed this!