Mdzs Oneshots

People Watching

That wasn't funny but he laughed so hard, he almost cried. Nie Huaisang smiled from where he stood, the fan still poised in his hand. It'd been a while since he got to see them, the two of them, this happy. He should have visited earlier, he knew. But with so many things he had to do, it was hard for him to find the time. I hope you're happier now, Wei Ge. Then you were the last time we met. He wasn't quite sure when he started losing him, fingers tapping absently across the smooth curve of wood. Half his mind still remembered the cheerful, happy boy he saw when they first met. His grey eyes sparkled with mischief, joy thrown carelessly across his face like he was without a care in the world. I'm not sure when it became a mask. Not sure when everything started crumbling, falling apart. Not just between him and Jiang Cheng, but between the three of them. Eventually, they drew apart, even though Nie Huaisang still looked up to him, still yearning for the friend he'd once found in him. Half of him wished he could tap inside sometimes, tap inside the brilliant brain of his to see what was brewing, even if that meant he'd have to see the pain. I don't mind the pain. I'd rather face it than not at all, especially if it's Wei Ge's. Part of him saw through the mask at times, when Wei Wuxian slipped, letting slip of a corner of his mind. The way his eyes lost their light when he thought no one was watching, the way he bit his lip when he was nervous, before putting on a show.

Except when he was with Wangji, then he never looked happier, never looked afraid.

They're counting months they've been together, almost 49. It's been 4 years...4 years since he came back. Wangji looks happier, too. He did. He smiled freely now, affection lining his gilt eyes. Nothing like the shell of a man Wangji had seemed like before, darkness lining his eyes, and emptiness to his gait even when he got better, the loss of him draining him. In some ways, Huaisang supposed he put on a mask, just like Wei Ying did, only his mask was one of indifference. Though it didn't seem here now, not with their fingers intertwined.

"Huaisang! Over here!" Wei Wuxian's voice snapped Nie Huaisang out of his reverie. Almost immediately, he snapped his fan close, walking towards the couple. Smiling, he felt his heart swell a little, looking at those two. They're so happy, he thought. So in love.

If only I could love like that.

"Here, Wei Ge." To his surprise, Wangji smiled at him. There was no animosity behind his eyes, no hatred. Nie Huaisang let out a sigh of relief he didn't know he'd been holding. Somehow, he'd always been worried Lan Wangji held a grudge on him for the way he brought Wei Wuxian back, for what he'd put him through. He'd be honest, it was off at first to see his first friend with another face. Grey eyes, black hair. But there was something Mo Xuanyu had always lacked, that Wei Ying exuberated. Vitality. There was a new shine to him, his complexion becoming rosier, and it was moments like this Nie Huaisang knew it was him, without a doubt. It's amazing to have him back.

He tried not to think about what he'd lost.

For him. For them. Mo Xuanyu. The first time he'd ever clasped his eyes on him, in the dark corners of the room. His shoulders tense, posture defensive, as if he were waiting for something to pounce on him. The powdered makeup on his face hadn't been there then, but his dark expression stood in contrast with the gilt of his robes, something about him seemed so fractured, so familiar that it hurt. Wei Ge.

But the moment he spoke, Nie Huaisang knew. He was nothing like Wei Wuxian, not in the least, even though their features faintly resembled each other's. Where Wei Wuxian was gold, Mo Xuanyu was all silver. He carried darkness wherever he went, sadism simmering beneath his feet, tapping lightly against the surface of his mind, as delicate as glass. This time, Nie Huaisang could see through him, his mind as fragile as glass, poison brewing at the bottom, fracturing with the heat.