MATHONGA

Chapter 32

HLABELA-

This is why he stays away from children, why he doesn’t have one himself at the age of 33. There’s something about them that makes his heart chase the Gautrain with the intention to win.
At church, he denied the position of being a Saturday school teacher for the young ones, he’s more comfortable working with the youth. If you’re 12 years old going up, then you’re okay being around him.
Today must be a curse itself, Kushi wants him to meet her children. Her mother in-law finally had mercy on her and brought the kids to visit. What does he say to them? How does he look at them and not think of his brothers he lost to a raging fire?

It’s almost time, Kushi will be here in less than ten minutes. Part of him wants to call her and cancel, make an excuse or something. He has a brother in the hospital, everyone went back to KwaZulu-Natal leaving him behind.
He’s the only man around, and that means he has to look after Bongiwe and well, Dalisile, that’s if he can stand her presence.
Loving God and being his disciple does not mean you will love like Jesus loves, life is not heaven on earth, no one is perfect.
“Shit!” Oops! The devil is always close, tempting the righteous. Kushi’s phone just sent him to voicemail, how does he deal with this now?
Maybe leave the hotel, he will explain later why she found him gone. He needs to get out of here or he will faint, his hands are trembling as he grabs his car keys and wallet from the bed. He’ll go and spend time with his brother, that’s better than subjecting himself to… argh!
His heart jolts and sits on his throat when he opens the door and sees Kushi and two kids on both her sides, each holding her hands.
“Bella.” Her smile is wide.
There’s nothing to smile about, he’s about to have a heart attack, his eyes are on the little boy and girl who are staring back at him.
Breathe Hlabela, breathe… okay; Our Father who art… Nope, prayer is not his solution. Those things take time anyway, something about a day being a thousand years in heaven and a thousand years being a day. Brain cracking, yeah!
“Thlabhela.” Not even a butcher knife would chop his name like this.
He blinks when a bead of sweat blinds his eye. Gods of salty waters, you are great.
“Uh, hi” It’s all good, he can still speak. He wants to tell them to come in… Okaaay, shifting aside is not a bad idea. Kushi narrows her eyes at him as she strides in with her babies. It’s not that he’s suffering from pedophobia, it’s… she wouldn’t understand.

He drags his palms across his face, how will he explain without sounding like he needs therapy? It takes him forever to finally shut the door, before turning to meet his potential family.
“Are you okay?” Kushi asks, she looks like she’s losing her patience.
“Yes,” his voice is strained, stuck deep in his throat.
His eyes dash to the kids again, the little girl in denim shorts and sandals looks like a younger version of Kushi. The boy is taller than the girl, he must look like his father.
“This is Neha,” her hand lovingly caresses the girl’s hair. “And this is Shanker.” She’s referring to the boy and tells them to greet uncle Bella. The only thing he gets are bashful waves, Hlabela manages a smile.
They, should be looking at him like he’s here to rob them not the other way around, he is a stranger after all. 
“Nice to…” His voice fails him, he clears his throat as his eyes meet with Kushi’s. She is confused and upset, probably wondering why he is acting like this. His face is wet with sweat, he uses his crispy white shirt to wipe it off and rolls up the sleeves after. Kushi notices his trembling hands and furrows her brows in worry and bafflement.

Who opened the windows of hell? Why is it so hot in here? He loosens a few buttons from his shirt, this is when he should be speaking to them and organising ice-cream dates. 
“I’m sor…” He doesn’t finish his apology, a groan resounds from his throat as he flies through the bathroom door.
Oscar Pistorius, come see how it’s done.
His whole face is in the toilet bowl, emptying this morning’s breakfast. It sounds like a vomit war in here, he tries to keep it down lest he scares the kids that’s if they aren’t already.