MATHONGA

Chapter 58

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AMANDLA- 

The sun has set, again I’m alone in this huge house. Sabusiswa is always out, doing God-knows what. Woman is too old to be partying, I have asked about her whereabouts and have been left hanging and answering my own questions with assumptions.

After emptying my plate, I dispose of it in the sink and head back to the lounge to wait for mom. Every room in this house is cold, the kitchen, although we cook in it is the coldest. 

An hour oozes to another one, I decide to try her phone—it sends me straight to voice mail. 

I need to find friends, I would have one or two if she allowed me to go out. We stay in Waterfall, I’m not familiar with the place yet.

The heaviness on my eyelids tells me that it’s time to call it a night, the thought of sleeping in that room drains me blood dry. 

I don’t want to sleep in my room today, Sabusiswa is against me sharing a bed with her for a reason I don’t know. How does she not care that that room scares the shit out of me? There’s a negative presence in there, I sleep with an open bible under my pillow and it’s sad to say it has not made a difference.  

My grandmother comes to me in my dreams, I see her from the moment she opens my bedroom door to the time she climbs into my bed. Then it starts, where she’s touching me inappropriately. Sometimes she looks like a man, and has man parts.

I hate that I never fight her, I lie on my bed unable to move as she penetrates me with... I don’t know what. Sabusiswa says it must be stress, I don’t agree with her. My grandmother is raping me in my dreams, why is she not taking me seriously? 

Those dreams drain my strength, so much so that I wake up feeling weak, and wanting to take my own life. Some days I cry for hours, some days, I’m a walking zombie and Sabusiswa would say it’s just dreams. 

The hairs on my body stand as I open the door to my bedroom, the light switch is about five feet away. I take a step in and freeze in the middle of the door. Yes the room is dark save for the streetlight, there… there’s a figure on my bed, under the covers. 

My knees are rickety, giving me no chance to run. I don’t listen to them, but speed out of the room screaming. 

“Amandla.” My mother’s home? 

I see her, climbing those stairs I hate so much. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“Ma, there’s someone in my room.” I’m screaming, tears playing down my face. She hates it when I cry, it annoys her. She doesn’t have to say it, I see it in her actions. 

Sabusiswa sighs and swooshes past me without a word, heading to my room. My feet won’t cooperate as I tiptoe behind her, I can hear my heart beating against my chest. Without any hesitation, she opens the door. Three seconds later, the light is on. 

“Come see for yourself.” She says, with a tint of irritation.  

I don’t want to go in there, I have seen enough to scare me till I turn grey. 

“There’s no one in here, Amandla. Stop being foolish.” 

What? That’s not possible, I know what I saw. I rush to check and she’s right, there’s no one. My bed is still neatly made. 

“You need to stop this, or else I will start thinking you are not normal.” She says, putting me to order with just a look. 

“I’m not sleeping in here tonight,” I quip and rush out of the bedroom. If she won’t let me sleep on her bed, the guest room will do. I will have to sleep with the light on.