MATHONGA

Chapter 6

FUNOKUHLE

My birthday is next week, exactly eight days from today. A day that should be spiked with anticipation and joy. There’s no one I want to spend it with, than him, he’s special to me.
The task of asking him to sacrifice a day just to be with me lies heavy on my chest, he loves me, I know he does and you sacrifice for the ones you love.
I breathe, trying to brush away the knot inside my stomach that keeps twisting and turning as I stroll down the empty street. Thoughts of earlier hovering in my head, I need to stop thinking about what happened. I wasn’t in my right mind. Yes, it was a weak moment and I gave in.

His house stands alone, at the far end, away from prying neighbours. He prefers it like that. Privacy means a lot to him.

My pulsating heart leaps with bliss as I think about the intimate times we’ve had in this house, the memories bring about rays of joy that allow peace to battle with my nervous tension.
My body is trembling as I open the small gate and walk down the pavement. Stopping behind the pine-wood door, I say a little prayer. The man behind this door is unpredictable, hopefully today he’s in a good mood.

The door clicks open, despite the frown on his face, I place a smile on mine. He used to love my smile, said it reminded him of summer.
“Hi.” I greet, I don’t have an endearment for him. He hates them.
“What are you doing here?” His gaze moves from me to the streets, scanning and panicky.

“No one saw me, I made sure.” I keep the smile. “Won’t you let me in? I came to see you.”

I don’t expect him to clench his jaw, it wasn’t my intention to upset him. He hates it when I say sorry, so I keep the apology.
I shriek when he grabs my wrist and pulls me inside, he bangs the door closed. The loud sound matches the beat of my heart.
I’m pressed against the door, he’s towering over me.
Pule is a hand’s length taller than me, he was once a handsome fella.
Now he’s at an age where he’d probably be mistaken for my father, that’s one of the reasons we don’t go out together. Well, that’s what he told me, he says people will judge him.

I wish I looked my age at least, I’m approaching twenty four but have features of a high schooler. Pule distastes that I’m portable, he always forces me to eat. Apparently, I’m too lean for a man, and should have a little meat.
No matter how much I stuff my face with food, my body refuses to gain weight.

“You’re so careless Ntando.” His hand tightens on my wrist. “What if someone saw you?”
  
“I’m…” I bite my tongue, the word will get me into trouble.

Our relationship is a secret, it’s been for ten years. He was my history teacher, the new flame at school, straight from Johannesburg.
Every girl had their thirsty eyes on him, but he saw me. It made me feel special, and wanted.
He came at a time when my family had just turned their backs on me. If it were not for him, I probably would’ve died long ago.

He was thirty four when we started sleeping together, and I was fifteen. He was my first, it was uncomfortable really. And the other times after that, but I got used to it. He’s not the most romantic man in the world, not everyone is a Romeo.

“How was Durban?” He asks, forgetting his anger a minute. 
He was against me going to Durban, we fought about it. It almost got physical.
My brother… Mfundo, he’s as hot-headed as Pule. I couldn’t say no to him.
“Mfundo got into a fight and was stabbed.” I tell him, his brows pucker with questions. I narrate the whole story until the part where I almost drowned myself to death and was saved by a stranger. I leave the details of who the stranger is and what happened between us.
Pule is a jealous lover, he’d kill me and bury me somewhere in this house.

“That’s the problem with you Ntando, you’re so damn stubborn. Awulaleli.” He growls, getting into my space. His anger is never too far.
“What? Pule, I almost took my own life. Doesn’t that affect you?”