Kenopsia

-Future Snowy Grave-

(Damn.... 100 chapters in already, with one update minimum per week.... A long time has passed since Andie was a girl that knew nothing of the world and was a lost cause ey?)

I pet Whiskers as I gave him food in his bowl in the cafeteria.

I had spoken too fast, today the sky was dark with a blizzard, no way to go outside.... And I who hoped for a mild winter... It's not what I wanted.

I leaned against one of the tables and sighed, touching my long dried face, tapping my fingers on my skin.

I hated to admit it but it felt good to cry after all this time.

I had cried for a long time, I thought I would never stop and melt into a puddle of literal tears then and there.

I don't like being weak, the weak don't survive in this world.

I looked at the empty holster on my belt, not having took it off as it was not really a bother, tho I clearly saw the image of the gun that should have been there.

"Just how many times will the world beat me down?" I asked no one, putting my hand in the holster and pulling it out, hand in the 'shape' of a gun, middle and pointer finger held up and the other two bent, thumb held up, looking at my hand.

I lifted it up to my head, bending down my thumb like the hammer of the gun moving all the while I jerked my hand away and dropped my head on my shoulder.

"Bang." I muttered before dropping the hand on the table and knocking on it while I thought.

This would be so easy, I can't say I hadn't thought about ending it quite a few times and I did admit I actually tried too but no matter how alluring it is, for now, I have responsibilities I can't fail.

I heard a meow and looked down at Whiskers and sighed, picking the cat up in my arms.

"I wish the world was different." I said, walking back towards the office with the purring cat. "Me still going to school, Jasmine camping with her father, you with your owner, Adar still on the school excursion, Lucy on her apprenticeship.... I wish everyone was back in time doing what they did and that this was just a horrible dream I could wake up from."

I opened the door and quickly closed it behind me to not let the little warmth of this room out.

"Hey? Wanna play something? I am bored." Jasmine sighed, dropping the old comic book that was already an antiquity before the Great Silence, looking from the seventies or something... Well even four years seems like a lifetime ago now.

"What would you want to play? Winter is long and arduous, you'll get bored a lot unless you learn to occupy your mind tho sometimes even that has nothing great to offer." I was kneeling on the mattresses as I dropped Whiskers on it as she sat on the couch.

"Well we are stuck so I snooped around finding this!"

I watched wide eyes as she pulled out the chessboard.

Last I touched it was.... Before I lost them... One the day everything went wrong, I hoped to bury and forget it existed for ever.

"I... don't think we should." I said as she opened it to look at the pieces.

"Aha because I'll beat you?! You scared of it ey?"

"I am scared." I said without admitting the reason, stupidly scared of the board the same way I was scared of the birds.... It happened once so it can happen again.

"Hah!" She grinned, pointing at me. "Then I win by default!"

I didn't know how to answer, looking at the black and white pieces, the two that last touched them left me, dying to it.

I gasped, threw my hand out with a launch from my spot and a loud smack echoed through the room before the scattering of pieces softly clicking together as the board smacked on the desk still in the office.

"Andie?" Jasmine looked at her hand in shock at the large red area left where my hand impacted hers, she had tried to pick up a piece, I can't have that happened, I am not having a future snowy grave weigh on my mind. In my hurry I had also sent the board flying with the smack I gave her.

I scooted on the couch without answering her for the reason for my actions and, despite the light protest, pulled her in my arms.

"Do not touch that." I whispered, she pushed slightly against me before sighing and just letting me hold her.

"Alright, sorry." I saw her rub her hand making me hug her hard.

I am not losing you too.