Kenopsia

-Park Tour-

(Why is it these types of songs that make me want to write and not some 'apocalypse ambiance' playlist for this book where they don't fit that much.)

The song was loudly blaring from my phone.

"Wow." I said in awe since this phone solar charger did truly work.

I pressed it up full loudness.

"I still don't now how you can love this type of song." My father said and I shrugged.

We were outside a convenience store we came too to get those solar charging garden lights, using those to wire them in the system.... The fucking fridge works, I was never so in awe as today, I have music and a working fridge, best day of my life.

I turned my phone off and put it securely away.

"I have my own taste of music.... At least we have something to listen too..."

"Right."

"I don't know why I never came here before now."

"I can't answer you." My father said, having walked all the way to what I called tall park on my map.

I looked around the grass around the dirt roads, at the trees and at the normal looking birds, tho on guard in case it all went to hell.... For now all was good.

"It's nice.... Normal."

"When you were little you loved being on those things." He pointed to the left.

"The jungle gym?" I asked, watching the twisting metal thing that was made to climb in the middle of a dusty looking playground between the trees.

"Yeah, it was impossible to get you down." He said, walking past me, towards it.

"Well I was young so not a surprise I don't remember." I followed. "We should bring Vic along once, it is always one of us that stays behind but we could risk it once no?"

"Vic? You call her that now?"

"What can I say? Yes? But seriously, I don't think it is that much of a risk, we are close to the school."

"And if the little boy grows up he'll like it."

"When not if."

"Whatever you say."

I didn't answer that, not liking the idea of the baby dying.

I approached the plaything and grabbed the metal, pulling myself up with my arm, it was much easier then what I remembered, finding it hard to lift myself in PE.

I shimmied around until I was sitting on top of it.

"You think it hurts?" I asked.

"What hurts?"

"Death.... I saw what happens to someone bitten.... I let two little boys suffer through the pain because I wanted to know... I saw the life leave ones eyes, his body twitching until there was nothing but a husk, a dead corpse, skin that still looked like him but was brought back as something completely different.... I let his brother suffer until his soon final moments before I shot him." I was repeating myself as I already told him this, watching the seagulls in the sky. "I also put a gun to my head after it but it didn't fire, no more bullets.... I think I've still died partially that day and I die a little more each day."

"You don't recognize yourself in the mirror." I looked down at him, he was leaning against the metal. "I don't either and I don't think Vic does either, nothing is the same now."

"Mmm." I nodded. "But I still wonder... Are these husks suffering or is it like a coma? The mind completely gone, at peace, the body left to shamble.... Or is it like a locked-in syndrome, the mind unable to do anything, alive but locked inside.... The body its prison and in pain from what happens to it."

"Even if one of those two facts is actually reality, you are helping them by putting them out of their misery."

"I do love you dad.... No matter how much of a shit-bag you can be."

"Dandelion don't try to make me cry."

"You can't cry old man."

"You got me there."

I sighed through my nose..... How can life be so mundane and so extra-weird nowadays? What even is normal? What even is this.... I like it.... But fear it... It will not always be like this.... Change is inevitable.... And that scares me...