Kenopsia

-Fix-

How did I end up in this situation?

Better question is why I ended up like this.

I should know better then this....

And yet....

Human nature triumph's over logic.

I don't know how to fix the mess I made and honestly, it had been a few days since we last talked, Jasmine and I.

We would work together when needed but she didn't exchange much with me, not even her stupid jokes that I actually miss, she was talking to me after all.

"Yes but lets come back before nightfall." I told her, lowering her down the outside of the wall, she wanted to get new clothes again and I guess I was willing to risk letting her out a few hours before nightfall, I was going to go to the mall anyway so maybe this can fix our relationship a bit?

"Yeah whatever." She calmly said without looking at me, walking ahead, I followed suit.

I never wanted another person to look after, I never wanted to need to be a mentor figure in this hell.... But humans are not meant to be alone.... I called a pair of fish Jesse and James.... A fucking plant Jeremy....

Humans are social animals and even if we deserve to die out it can't be me to bring justice, I cannot drive humanity to its death even if I was given the chose, I cannot die just yet.

I let left her on her own with instructions to not leave the clothing store part of it, we had gone to the biiiiig mall on the north side of the city.

I went to the garden section of it, it had many useful things, more corrugated metal sheets, garden wires or tough garden gloves, I'll need many of these things to secure more parts of the city.

"Maybe.... One day I will have this whole city secured." I said, imagining being able to walk somewhere without meeting a husk along the way.

But that fantasy was already stabbed through with logic: I couldn't make a simple fence, what if that one failed? I need to make many and sector off parts. How long would that even take? Years probably. But I am not alone. And am I willing to ask for help? Many could die. Hoards could come. construction materials could run out. Would I need to travel towns over to find material and risk so much for so little?

"This is so hard." I sighed, wishing life would get easier for one day.

I grabbed the still sealed packets of seeds I found and just filling my bag with as much as I could before grabbing a shopping basket and putting more seeds in.

I know I have that wheat forest near town but I still worry about fires to it with the towns around it without upkeep, even that field will need to be partially cut over a few days to be sure if it does burn that the fire could never reach my city as once a fire starts who the hell would I stop it?

I put another little trowel in the basket, I have one at home but I guess I misplaced it somewhere.

I was thinking since mini-park had the chickens in it I should use part of tall-park to grow crops, what I grow on the school's roof will never be enough.

Chickens eat many stuff, for now I am feeding them a few of those edible mushrooms and plant scraps, I hope they will fatten up a bit, I've not been taking the few eggs I spotted away, wanting the chicks to hatch and grow to have a few more.