Walker: Secrets

Chapter 42

Monday morning dawned bright and cheerful with not a single cloud in the sky. The kind of morning that was just begging to have her go out and ride in nature. Having felt the call of the trails, Maddie had decided that she'd change up her training schedule for the horses for the day and instead of training in the arena, that could wait. It was too nice a morning to be stuck indoors working on circles and collection and all that jazz...

And so, here she found herself riding Dakota alongside the lake, Bel walking calmly alongside as she ponied her along. 

It was quiet. Peaceful. She'd invited Mika to join her of course but Mika had six horses to get through riding today in the arena and didn't have the time to come with her. It was fine riding without her though, hench having ponied Bel along so that she could get exercised at the same time.

Coming to the dock on the lake, Maddie dismounted and ground tied the two horses so they could graze, heading down to dip her feet in the water. With how crazy everything in her life was right now it was just so nice to be able to stop and take a break. To take a breath and breathe in the nature about her.

Things back home were beginning to settle down, the place they were staying at looking somewhat like a home now that Bonham and Abeline had finished unpacking. While it wasn't anything like their old home, with a little love and care, it felt homey. Right. As long as they all were together too, that's what really mattered.

Now that she was able to catch her breath, other concerns she'd pushed aside were brought back to her attention. Just because she had been too busy to think about them didn't mean she was any better. If anything, things were getting worse for her. The headaches were there almost all the time now, that and the nausea. Not only that but she was starting to get dizzy too on occasion and more than once lately had to stop and rest against something until things had stopped moving. 

She still hadn't been eating much though she'd been trying harder to eat more. She really didn't want a fuss to be caused at her expense, she was okay, wasn't she? It wasn't anything that bad, was it? In the back or her mind though was a little voice telling her that what she was experiencing wasn't right. That she really needed to get herself checked out...

No. Not yet. Though she hadn't cut again since last week, her legs were still very much in the healing process. Anyone with two eyes would clearly be able to see that she had self harmed recently if they saw her legs and though she knew that was highly unlikely due to the fact her problem was her head and not her legs, she still didn't want to cause a fuss. 

She'd ask to get taken in a couple of weeks. Waiting a little longer wouldn't make much difference, would it?

The water lapped at the dock gently, Maddie smiling as she watched a couple of ducks with ducklings in tow swim by. The sun shining off the water though was beginning to make her eyes hurt, the mild headache that had been plaguing her all morning slowly creeping up on her. With a sigh she realized that she'd forgotten her sunglasses and knew if she didn't get herself back to the center before the worst of her headache hit, there was no way she'd make it back at all.

Bel and Dakota were disappointed to have to leave their grazing when she returned, Dakota snatching up one last mouthful as she mounted up. Bel followed along calmly as she started them back to the center, closing her eyes every so often for a moment to rest from the light. The light made the headaches worse these days... Again she chastised herself for forgetting her sunglasses. If she'd remembered them she wouldn't have had to head back so soon...

By the time that Maddie made it back to the center, her migraine was in full force. Every step that Dakota took sent waves of pain through her head and with the dizziness that accompanied it she had to hold tight to the saddle horn to keep herself in the saddle.