The whole room fell into a deep silent that the sound of my hearbeat could be heard from a distance.
"So tell me why do you like him?" I stared at her trying to understand what was happening, she is really shocking me this night, all her gu.... I choose to answer in order not to fuel her anger.
"Well he is good looking, smart and different" she tilted her head a little and took a sip of her wine. "Different?" She questioned with a raised brow.
"Yes Claudia he is different from other high school teenage boys. You know he is very smart, he is a straight A student, never gets into a fight and cares alot for people. He never stops sharing his smile and generosity, he is understanding and never gives up on what he knows he want like how he never gave up on me, he isn't so rich but he cares a lot for his family".
I smiled as I spoke about José, he is really special to me and a good person.
"Wow matilda, a nice description but did you for once think he could be pretending?" She asked in present continous tense making me hella confused.
"Sorella I know how you think about people, what happened in the past changed your mindset about the people in the world, no one is genuine and everyone is a suspect to you but I can assure you José isn't like that, he doesn't even believe mafias exist" I explained to her.
"So what happens when he finds out that you belong to one and he realizes he doesn't want you, what then?" I sighed and looked her straight in the eyes.
"Does it really matter sorella, he is dead already" I said hurt and bittered.
"You are going to tell him who you are and if he decides to leave you be assured his blood will be on your hands".
My eyes widened in surprise "Y...you didn't kill him?" Her silence and stare was an answer to my question, my heart leaped in joy and I jumped right into her arms. "Grazie grazie sorella" i told her excitement radiating off my voice.
I felt her body stiffness under mine and she didn't hug me back as usual, it didn't matter because that's how she was probably made and I was used to it already.
"Don't thank me yet cause if you tell him who you are and he rejects you or even plan to tell the authority you'll be the one to kill him" ok now claudia is the one talking before it was the goodness in her that was talking.
"Does that mean if he accepts you'll let us date? Her stare was an answer to my question, I smiled in appreciation and hugged her again before leaving.
The only thing that scares me now is José's rejection, for his sake, my sake and our sake I hope he doesn't.
*******
I dressed in a dark purple leather pants matched with a leather purple crop tube that had a zip at the front, I slipped into my black killer heels and wore my leather fingerless gloves.
I applied my makeup making it dark just how I love it, I let my hair flow down my back, I put my earrings and knuckle rings on before wearing my perfume.I grabbed my phone and earplugs before leaving my room.
I got down to find my men waiting for me already. Arturo my personal assistant walked up to me and bowed his head.
He handed my special gun which I took from him and carefully analyzed it with a nodded with a satisfied smirk.
"Are you ready signora?" Arturo asked.
"Let's hit the road". We walked out of the living room.
Numerous cars were parked outside, I walked toward a matte black Mercedes benz. Arturo opened the door and I got in, he shut the door once I settled in and got into the passenger seat, the driver roared the engine to life and our journey began.
I felt my phone vibrate against my pocket. I pulled it out to see it was a text from matilda, I tapped on the message to read it.
"Grazie sorella ,this decision of yours means alot, safe journey and one more thing I love you" .
A very tiny smile appeared on my lips, sometimes I wish I could be less hard on them, so they can enjoy the benefits of having an older sister but I just can't. I don't want them to suffer what I had to.
Antonia is still very young, she never had a good and normal childhood like other kids. She didn't have the opportunity to visit the park, play with her peers, listen to bed time stories from a mother or spend fun times with her big sister instead she grew up being scared of me, being an acquaintance to the sound of guns, sight of blood and different dangerous weapons.
She can't even be around me for so long, she can't ask me for anything even though it is a pressing need, she feels like I'll always lash out on her or say it isn't important, she'd rather ask Gioia or Alfeiri and that is one of the reasons I am grateful to them for. They've been there for my siblings when I couldn't, I wish I could give them what they deserve but I just can't, I can only give them luxury which isn't the only thing they need.
I successfully held back the tears that threatened to spill. I decided to give José a chance with Matilda because I saw the feelings they both had for each other when they spoke about themselves but that didn't mean José is off the hook, I'll watch his every move until I finally take down all my rivals to be sure he isn't sent to be a bug by any other mafia clan.
We got to the airport and i was escorted into my private jet. Since I was eleven I've been living a shady life, I wouldn't say I am tired but I want to know how it feels to live out of Italy, I want create a double life and right now I am on my way to chicago
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