hellbound ~ exhausted pt. 1 (hurt/comfort) ~ rafael & ida ✨

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Rafael had been doing a lot more than usual.

That wasn't to say he was painfully lazy or anything- He wasn't. If he was given a task, he'd usually do it to the best of his ability because he knew Shawn probably wouldn't take too kindly to any less than that. But, over the past few days, the monarch had been putting a lot more on his plate than normal, to the point where he found himself constantly running around and doing shit with no time to himself. Even if he didn't have a slew of mental issues, it would've been a lot. But, with those issues on top of everything else? Forget it. He wanted to fucking perish.

Ida was worried about him because she saw how burnt out he was becoming. Sure, he seemed stressed literally all of the time, but there was a clear difference between his usual stress issues and how he was now- He seemed constantly overwhelmed and far more snippy than usual, like he could completely snap at any given moment. It probably would've been scary if she didn't know him as well as she did. He was like the little brother she'd never had in the living world, and she really cared about him.

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"Rafael, are you okay?" she asked cautiously as she walked into his room. A small part of her felt bad for potentially intruding on his privacy, but she also didn't really have many options since Lucifer refused to put doors on their rooms. Something about not wanting his servants to be able to hide shit from him. Rafael found it stupid, considering he had an android that recorded everyone anyway. Ida didn't really mind it. It just meant she had to have more intimate moments with Christine elsewhere.

"No" Rafael replied in a tired, nearly shrill voice as he lied on his bed, only wearing a hoodie and his boxers. His binder, undershirt, and pants were scattered on the floor nearby. Ida wasn't sure when she had last seen him so damn tired, but it had definitely been a little while. "I'm just..." the blue eyed demon continued, his voice wavering in a way that Shawn probably would've called pathetic. "I'm really fucking tired, Ida"

"Okay" Ida replied softly, walking over and sitting next to him on the bed, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. He flinched at the sudden touch (years of abuse from Shawn made him wary), but didn't pull away. "That's okay" the girl continued, carefully getting into a laying position so that he could lean against her if he wanted to. "You've been doing a lot this week. I get it"

"This is so fucking stupid. I'm sorry" Rafael muttered, clinging onto her like his life depended on it. His voice broke as he began to cry, which made Ida realize just how distraught he actually was. Ever since he'd started taking testosterone, crying had become more and more difficult for him, so the fact that he was now reduced to a sobbing mess in her arms was... Concerning, to say the fucking least.

"Don't apologize" Ida told him gently. "It's not stupid" she continued, rubbing his back in a soothing motion as he cried. "You're exhausted. That's okay. It happens to the best of us. Even happens to Christine, if you can believe that" Rafael chuckled at that. "And everyone needs a good cry every once in a while, if you ask me" she continued. "It's what makes us human- Or I guess 'people' would be a better word to use, all things considered"

"I just worry that I'm b- That I'm burdening you" the boy muttered out, trying to ignore the voice in his head telling him to keep his stupid mouth shut. "'Cause, like..." he continued upon seeing Ida's inquisitive look. "Like, I've got all these fucking mental problems like my- Like my depression and anxiety and dysphori- Just, all the shit. The list is a fucking novel long" he explained, not daring to look her in the eye. "And I know it's fucking exhausting to put up with"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, 'cause you're like... Basically my sister" he continued, uncurling himself from her enough so they were face to face but not risking actual eye contact. "And... I don't know. I can't imagine how fucking annoying it is to deal with a brother who's never just fucking stable. Like something is always wrong with- Even when he's having a good day, something is up" he explained. Ida listened patiently to his rambling. He never understood how she was always so fucking patient with him (and everyone), but he appreciated it. "And it's different with Todd, 'cause like... For better or worse, that guy loves me. But like, romantically. I feel like it's easier to deal with the burden of a fuck-up if it's romantic"

...

"Rafael, I don't see you as a burden"

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