arcane ~ breakdown (hurt/comfort) ~ vi/caitlyn

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A/N : Takes place post season 1. For me, writing fanfiction began as a coping mechanism. I used to just read it, but I eventually realized that there wasn't always something to read that hit the exact shit I was going through (at least not in the fandoms I would look in), so I started writing my own, just to help me find some comfort in whatever the fuck I was going through at the time. That's why most of my fanfictions are hurt/comfort and also why most of them are oneshots. Writing is a coping mechanism for me, and having characters I relate to that I can project onto without being labeled as batshit insane has been really helpful for me. Anyways, all this is to say that I am currently dealing with some mental health shit. My RSD has been really bad, people have been really shitty, and despite all the progress I've made away from more self destructive coping mechanisms (not self h*rm or anything like that, but more just emotionally self destructive habits I'm glad to be away from), I still am mentally ill and that much I cannot escape. Arcane is currently my main hyperfixation (if you couldn't tell by the abundance of fics about it), and I am having a breakdown, so... Here we are? I'm not sure why I decided to write all this in a long ass fucking AUTHOR'S NOTE, but I did and hopefully that provides some level of insight into the work of... Me. Almost 300 words worth of just me talking about myself. A bit egotistical, I know. Anyways, onto the fic. As stated at the beginning, this oneshot takes place post season 1. Let's dive in, shall we?

Caitlyn had never really been one to share her emotions.

She couldn't, not in her family. She had an image to uphold, and anything that would hurt her family's image was a no go. She'd always have her little breakdowns and whatnot, but she'd learned pretty early on to bottle that all up, only allowed to cry when she was alone in her room at night. She did this all her life, and she almost never showed true vulnerability... Until Vi

Vi wore her heart on her sleeves. She was strong as all hell, but she also wasn't as terrified of showing her emotions. She honestly couldn't considering how high her anxiety was constantly running, keeping her tense and on high alert. It was so foreign to everything that Caitlyn had grown up around, and it made her start to question if shutting off her emotions from the rest of the world was as wise a decision as she'd been forced to believe. It'd definitely never felt nice... No hand to hold when things were tough. No one to hold her and tell her everything would be okay...

Things had been hard ever since the Council building had been destroyed, and everyone in the board room had been killed. Luckily there were some survivors of the blast (like Viktor and a few guards), so it hadn't been all death, but her mother and best friend were dead now. The Council was gone with it's only remaining faction being the recently retired Heimerdinger, who had moved to the Undercity to live with his new friend Ekko.

She still had her father, who had never been too up in arms about image (at least not in comparison to her mother). She also had Vi, who had returned into her life despite what she had said that night outside the Council building. Oil and water she had said. She'd later apologized for those words and admitted she had only said it out of fear. She told Caitlyn about how she had hurt Jinx a few times when they were younger, and she was terrified of hurting Caitlyn, especially in her short lived venture to take down Silco's corruption.

This openness about her feelings... Well, it scared the topsider, but it was a necessary fear that she needed to work through if she wanted her and Vi to work.

Vi had been down in the Undercity one day, a few weeks post-the incident. She went down there fairly often, though her current residence was up in Piltover with Caitlyn. As nice as Cait's place was, her home was still down in the Undercity. That's where Ekko was. That's where her entire life had been up until she was transported away to Stillwater. So, she visited regularly, just to check up on things and get some food from Jericho. As gross as his cuisine may have seemed to any topsider, nothing would ever top it for her.

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