Now What Have I Gotten Myself Into? ~Enter Konoha's number one knuckle head

28

Chapter 28

The rest of the time at that lake was pretty awkward. My canteen and my storage scroll had been destroyed in the blast. I was left to try and heal normally which confused Sakura since I needed her to try to heal me for the first time. There was enough damage that she could only do so much. Everytime Naruto would look in my direction between his times of looking after the kid his gaze was riddled with sadness and betrayal. I knew I deserved it. I was reporting his whereabouts to the Akatsuki and lying to him about it. The only thing that kept him from freaking out was when Kakashi explained I had saved Sai. The moment those words came out he didn't yell at me. He didn't scream. Just simply asked. -"Why? Why the Akatsuki?"- With that one question everyone had fallen silent and all eyes were on me. Closing my eyes I wrap my arms around my legs to keep myself from leaning against the wall or laying on the floor. Knowing it would only cause the immense pain to become worse.

I remember the look of pain in his bright blue eyes as he watched me. Waiting for my answer. When I didn't say anything right away his hands clenched into fists. He raised his voice a bit and asked again. "Why the Akatsuki?!" Since opening up to Sai out on the water. I have yet to be able to show any of the self assurance I had been able to openly portray previously. I wondered quietly what I could tell him that would not only explain my reasons but also to alleviate his pain. It was in that moment I realized. I couldn't make him feel better about any of this. My very reasons would cut him deeper than any blade. And yet even as I stood there in silence everyone continued to watch me. Waiting for me to say something if just anything. "Why not?"
I responded with a sigh. "I wish I could say I did it for the strength they could teach me. I wish I could say I inevitably joined them by my own will. My ultimatum. Was join them or die. That is why I joined them at first. I wanted to live even when everything in my life was so miserably wrong. I stuck with them because they helped me learn more about myself than Aphrodite had ever shed light on. Why I continued to follow him to this point? Why wouldn't I? They were the only ones in this world that had refused to turn their backs on me."

I turned away from his gaze if only so I wouldn't see what they would show next. "Before you scream and yell claiming you had always had my back. You didn't. You were just a child then. All you cared about was who was stronger. You didn't even care that during our time in the academy I was whispering to you encouraging words and helpful suggestions. That I tried to befriend you in my own way. You seen me as you always have. Ill tempered and a loner. You couldn't tell that I didn't actually hate anyone. It's just the light everyone in the academy shined on me so I decided why fight it? Why try to make friends with people that didn't want to be my friend? Even in team 7 all you cared about was out doing Sasuke, you would yell at me periodically or just ignore me. No one was any different so I can't fault you for that. Think to yourself. Why did I come up missing and no one notice? Simple, unlike everyone else in the village. I had only one friend, Sasuke, and he was so consumed with his own ambitions he couldn't even notice. It's not like it was the first time either. Who could possibly blindly believe I had hurt myself in training so severely someone who heals as rapidly as I do had to be hospitalized? So why not accept my fate and build a life amongst the Akatsuki? The only part of my story I told the leaf that was a lie. Were two things. I didn't leave the Akatsuki and I didn't try to escape. Why would I? I had no reason to return at the time. There was nothing for me here so why risk my life to come back?"

"I'm, sorry." He spoke barely audibly before I walked away from him and found my spot near the balcony. Away from everyone only one thought lingered in my mind that began to confuse the hell out of me. In the anime I remember Naruto was always quick to forgive. But right now, he is having a difficult time. What about my inhuman curse? The one where guys fall in love with me even when I don't want them to. The curse that all I had to do in the death note world is say one sentence to a group of ceos to get them to relax and trust the weirdness that was going on around them? Is there something wrong with me?-