Marvel Comic Whump/sick fics

Bucky: Gone

Pain, it laced through him like white hot lightning, he couldn't see couldn't think. His breathing was spotty and erratic as he tried to control his raging heart beat. He could hear them, hear their laughing as he tried to crawl away from them. He was done with fighting but he couldn't yield he couldn't! Steve wouldn't; he had to stay strong stay strong for Steve.

They kept laughing speaking German he could only make out a few words. They were not kind, everything hurt and he couldn't form his thoughts to make sense even to him. The ones he cooks grasp were like single words or short sentences shouted within his mind. His captors, Hydra kept saying the same thing over and over to him.

"Your precious Captain is dead asset, no one is coming for you, he's gone."

Gone? Steve couldn't be gone, no no no! He couldn't be gone!

Gone. Gone. Gone. Gone!

"Barnes?! Hey man you need to wake up."

Steve couldn't be gone, he couldn't do this without him. Couldn't stay strong without clinging to the fact his best friend was alive and as safe as he could be in this war. He was Captain America, he couldn't be dead...they were lying he couldn't be dead.

"Hey man come on it's a dream you need to snap out of it."

He hurt so much he couldn't do this, please God please if you cared about him at all please come and take him away from this. Please God let Steve be okay, please please please.

"Barton? What is it?"

"Help me I can't wake him up."

They were coming for him, like the sticky tentacles of the monster who's face they wore. Biting into his skin, ripping away who he was piece by piece. They relished in this, unmaking him and rebuilding him until he didn't remember. Did he still remember? Who was he?

Barnes. James. Buchanan. Barnes!

"Fuck...okay hang on."

"Barnes? James hey Bucky come on man snap out of it."

It was dark, cold, wet and lonely. The alone part may have been the worst of it. In those last moments before he had fallen into that abyss and given up. In those fleeting moments before James had died and the asset had been born. It had been the crushing loneliness that had done him in. He was so alone and Steve was gone and never coming back. Never coming to get him, he would be in this torment forever.

"BUCKY!"

Like a tether yanked taught he heard it, heard those voices. He came crashing back into reality as hard as he had hit the earth after he had fallen from the train. He heard shuddering gasps, was that him making that noise? He couldn't see it was all too cloudy, the dreams too real even still. He felt more than he saw, that sense hyper aware in contrast to the others that buzzed in his mind,  confusing him even now. Two sets of hands were on him, warm firm and gentle. He didn't deserve gentle; hydra wasn't gentle, they hadn't held him upright when this happened. When fear and pain thrashed it's way through his blood, he was laughed at and dealt more pain because of his cries. The hands held firm though, each had a one on his back supporting him and it was than Bucky realized he had a vice like grip on the other two hands in front of him. The two sets of hands keeping him upright as he shuddered for air. Wait he couldn't breathe!

"Easy hey easy now you can breathe, slow down." He couldn't;  he shook his head as his chest burned from it. He couldn't he couldn't do it, there wasn't any air left there wasn't...he couldn't.

"Guide him forward slow." That was different than the first voice, who were they? Who was he? Where was he? What was going on? Why couldn't he breathe?!