SHAPES UNSPOKEN

-33-

HAPPY READING 🥰

Annabelle Innis

Thursday, Friday, Saturday pass with no word from Sean, not even a text message or phone call. I've hurt him and I'm fully aware of what I did. He didn't deserve it. I should have told him but I kept thinking with my fears and I didn't consider how he would feel. I put my own needs ahead of our relationship, now I don't know how we stand and how am I to fix it. My mind kept replaying the look on his face, the hurt in his eyes. I couldn't beat myself up enough for hurting him this way, especially after he shows me nothing but love from the moment he walked into my life and we connected.

I decide to call him today. I know he's home and I'm desperately hoping he answers. I dial his number and wait for him to answer, after the first four rings he finally answers.

"Annabelle," he says calmly, and never has he answered me this way ever since he texts me the very first time.

"Baby, I'm sorry, can we talk today," I whine.

There is silence on the phone before he spoke, "I have my brother over he's travelling back tonight can it wait until tomorrow." He says normally as if nothing was wrong and it scares the bejesus out of me. He is being way too calm for my liking.

"I miss you, baby. I'm sorry I should have told you please don't be mad at me."

I was meet with silence again and I wasn't liking it. "Sean" I call out. "Are you still there."

"I'm here," he says quietly. My mind was running on overdrive now.

"Can I come over?"

"You don't need my permission, you seem to be doing everything on your own without discussing it with me."

"I don't want to do this on my own. I need you, please."

"Do you Annabelle. Do you. Really."

"Sean, I'm sorry. What else do you want me to say?"

"What are you sorry for Annabelle?"

"I should have told you about our pregnancy."

"So you know it's ours."

"Baby, I know. Please can we talk?"

"I've made my decision Annabelle and we will talk. I'm not avoiding you I'm making decisions just as you have."

"What does that mean Sean?"

"I can't talk right now but we will talk Annabelle. You will see, I have to go."

"Sean, please." I stand by the window holding the curtain looking out at the view beyond the streets. My room only reminds me of a few nights back.

"I have to go," he cut the call and I am getting furious with him now. I know I'm wrong but he can at least talk to me.

Yeah, Annabelle, the same way you talk to him my subconscious yells at me.

Today I wasn't feeling well. I was throwing up all morning and everything I thought of eating only upset my stomach further.

I need a girl's day so I call Jinette.

"Jin, Jin," I say as soon as she answers. "What do you have planned for today?" I ask.

"Nothing really, I was about to call you Brian is taking Jorden to Seans they have a guy thing, so I'm stealing you I need a girl thing."

"That's why you're my best friend. I need ice cream and Netflix."

"Sounds great come over I will set up."

"Bye best friend." I hang up, walking to the bathroom to do my business. I take a long shower washing my hair and brush my teeth. I shave my legs and get dress in shorts and a tee-shirt I wasn't feeling to dress up and I didn't want people seeing the little bulge in my tummy. Although it's not that noticeable. I blow-dry my hair pulling it in a high pony.

I call a hover while I gather my phone, purse, and two cans of ocean spray orange juice, since that the only thing that seems to stay down today.

Half an hour later I arrive at Jinette's and we are in her living room searching through channels looking for a sappy movie to watch.

I didn't realize I wonder off until Jinette touches my shoulder. "You know if you keep staring at that tin it wouldn't talk back right." I snicker at her, "I know." I say lowly.

"Tell me what's wrong."

"It's just Sean and I. We get into it a bit."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I mess up Jin, now I don't know how to fix things with Sean.

"Want to tell me what exactly happened."

I sigh, "I'm pregnant."

She hugs me "that's great news I'm going to be an aunt," she squealed in excitement. "So what's the problem."

I sigh again, "I didn't tell him about the pregnancy."

"When do you plan on telling him"

"He already knows."

"How did he find out?"

"We were making love and I guess he saw or feel the bulge in my tummy."

"Why didn't you tell him?"

"Honestly, I didn't want him to think I trap him. Our relationship just began and I've fallen so hard, so fast. Now I'm pregnant and I don't know how this fits into Sean's life right now. I mean.....
It's just that he has Steph and I know we are together and we are exclusive but. I don't know what to do. I don't know, everything is so complicated and....."

"Ok, ok. Calm down, are you scared because you don't think he can love another child?"

"No, it's not that. I know he's a great father. I don't want Steph thinking we replace him. On top of that Sean and I, relationship is really young and I just didn't know how he would take the news or if he wants another child if he wants to get married again I'm just unsure about a lot of things when it comes to us."

"Answer me this, are you unsure about your feelings for him or his feelings for you."

"I'm not unsure of our feelings. I know I love him and he loves me. At least that's all he shows me is love."

"That's the most important thing you know how you feel and how Sean feels. We don't know how a relationship is going to turn out there aren't any guidelines to follow. We just do it base on our feeling, with the people we love and trust, hoping it will work out. Look Anna I know you've never been in a relationship but part of what makes it work is communication. If you don't talk to Sean about your stuff he can't automatically know or help you. Look Brian and I were arranged to each other if I didn't talk to him about my stuff he couldn't be the excellent husband he is to me."

"I understand but I'm so accustomed to relying on myself it's hard to give up control."

"I didn't say give up control. I say communicate, trust and have that faith in him. Plus steph practically lives here because he has Jorden as a company."

"That is good to hear."

"Here's my best advice when it comes to fixing things with your man. You will need a pair of heels, your best-looking lingerie, and red lipstick."