BTT x Reader | BloodXLust

Chapter One Hundred & Fifteen | SecretXConcern

The trio didn't ask about the call, to which I was grateful for, but they didn't say much at all.

We were all quiet, I ate soup on the couch, Francis on the other end of it and Gilbert and Antonio across from me.

"So now you're the one with secrets you won't share," Francis muttered, finally breaking the silence.

"We have secrets for a reason..." I mumbled and he glared at me.

"You kept yours for obvious reason, I'll keep mine for the same reasons."

There was silence again until I finished my soup and made loud cluttering sounds in the kitchen as I put everything away.

Today has been awkward as hell and it's only getting more awkward by the minute. I held my breath and turned around to sit back on the couch, fully expecting Francis to get up and move, not willing to talk.

We never finished our conversations from earlier. There was never really any closure to it at all. Eliza was gone, Gilbert was in love with me, I have no idea how I feel about Antonio and Francis but it's keeping me from running to Gilbert and my life is just a total mess.

I sighed and laid back into the throw pillow on the couch.

"Chica." Antonio startled me, I hadn't expected anyone to break the silence again.

"Yes?" I asked, sounding a little desperate for normal conversing.

"I need some blood." So much for normal conversing....at least human-normal.

I sighed and leaned my head to one side for him to sink his fangs in but he gave me a sly smile and I knew even in a tense situation he wasn't changing the spot he usually drank from. I was reluctant to show any skin with how awkward the atmosphere was right now but he pulled my pants down to my ankles and lifted my leg up enough for him to sink his fangs into my inner thy. Francis watched intensely and it sent chills throughout my body. He decided he'd rather have blood than continue to ignore me completely and as soon as Antonio parted his mouth, Francis moved in to pin me into the couch, rougher than he normally was and sank his fangs into my throat, much deeper than normal. I choked and gasped for breath and Gilbert glared at Francis and growled, he ran to my side and helped me sit up as Antonio quickly pulled Francis away. The look I saw in Francis's eyes was unlike anything I'd seen.

They were deep red and emotionless.

"F-Francis."

Antonio shushed me quietly and took Francis's hand, leading him away from me.

Gilbert sat next to me and pulled me into his side.

"Gil...I didn't mean to...don't mean to offend you guys-"

"Don't vorry about it Liebling," He hushed gently, "Francis is in a mood."

"But I've never seen him in a mood...his eyes look...blank."

"Emotionless?" He asked and I nodded.

"Francis has been through some serious shit in his life. I handle emotions by running away from them, Francis handles conflicting emotions by shutting himself down...he becomes sort of gone to the vorld...vhat about you?" He asked.

"What do you mean?"

"How do ju handle emotions?"

"Not well...as you've seen before I usually run off, or just up and cry and shout...I'm not too graceful handling the situation..." I confessed, though there wasn't really anything to confess to, I'd known them since April, they'd seen me go crazy, they'd seen the aftermath of me going crazy...what I did to Schenck's henchman...

He chuckled to himself.

"How does Antonio handle them?" I asked, curious about the subject matter.

"Ha!" He laughed, the first time I'd heard him laugh without making a hissing sound, "it's very hard to upset him...he only gets emotional when it comes to people he loves...so I don't know Ve ally how he's taking you having some supposedly big secret."

"Some things are just best left unsaid."

"I know how vhat feels...but...aren't ve your family? I'm not trying to pressure you or guilt you...vell maybe a vittle...but we're a team, ve're family."

"My family doesn't know either," I confessed under my breath. This conversation was giving me more anxiety than it was worth.

He looked concerned, "Vhat kind of secret could you have not even your flesh and blood knows?"

"A big one."

"Bigger than vampires?"

"Probably not."

He sighed and relaxed into the back of the couch. "You mind if I have a bite?" He asked staring intently as my cleavage and I blushed.

"Fine."

He pushed my back and lifted my shirt to gain access to his favorite biting spot, just under my breast. He hummed in contentment as the warm blood filled his mouth and poured down his throat. He stayed that way longer than he usually did and I calmed my breathing as the albino hovered above me. When he finally parted he lapped the wound shut and grinned as me mischievously.

"I know what you're thinking, Gil. It's probably not the best time to fool around...besides I'm trying to cut back before-" I cut myself off, blushing.

He smirked, "before vhat?"

"Before these encounters become an addiction...anyway moving on, what should I do about Francis?"

Gilbert wasn't gonna let this go, "addicted?" He purred, "I don't see a problem vith vhat...besides vhat means ve'll probably get around to doing it soon, vight?"

"I don't want to do it soon....or ever...you know how I feel..." I trailed off.

He frowned, "if you don't ever do it...vhen chances are you'll be a Red Vampire...in vhich case, you're body vill force you to do it...you...you don't vant that." He fumbled, also unwilling to talk about his past.

"Okay... let's change the subject matter, I don't need any heavy conversations right now...what do I do about Francis?"

"I don't know, vhat did ve do vhat made you feel better vhen ve vouldn't open up to ju?"

I thought about it..."you promised you would tell me....but I don't want to promise that I will say anything."

"Vhy? Vhat the hell could possibly be so bad?"

"I don't want to talk about it," I choked on my words. I won't even think about the things I did before I met them, no way am I going to speak of it aloud...

He sighed in defeat and hugged me into his chest as I tried not to dwell on my mistakes, on my guilt.

Last time Francis got upset with me he yelled, but this time he wouldn't even let himself feel what he needed to. "Why is Francis so upset I have a secret..."

"Because he loves you..." Gilbert huffed, "and he doesn't vant secrets between you two."

Love?

That word seemed to be thrown around quite a bit here but I didn't know how to feel about it. I don't know how to feel about a lot of things and one day all of it is going to pile up until I break and when that happens I don't know what will happen to us. There might not even be an us.