BTT x Reader | BloodXLust

Chapter Eighty Three | ElijahXEliza

I ran home.

The branches cut my arms but sensory wise it made no difference as I already smelled faintly of blood.

I couldn't really be a woman.

I'm not.

I can't become a woman now if I never had the chance to be a girl.

I'm just supposed to completely transition to the opposite of who I am and be mature about it.

I didn't get to dress up and play with dolls and cook with mama.

Now I have to learn how to play dumb and appear pretty and be fancy and polite and shit and I don't want that.

I need to run-I need to-

I ran into something and fell back.

I made it to the dirt road managed to hit a horse-drawn cart full of wood.

It was headed away from my town but maybe the owner would be kind enough to lend a hand.

"Son, watch vhere you're going!" He yelled and I flinched.

Maybe. Maybe if I told him I was a girl he'd be more sympathetic.

I let my tears fall and I wailed.

"I-I'm a g-girl," I whimpered and he looked alarmed.

"Vhat the hell happened to you? Vhere are your parents, are you alright?" He blurted out all his questions and got off his horse to take a closer look at me.

I wiped away my tears and nodded.

"It's okay now," he said with a smile I didn't trust, "you can come vith me, I'll bring you somewhere safe," he assured and placed his hand on my shoulder.

Too tightly.

I tore myself away from him and glared.

He glared back at me.

This man wasn't nice.

Not at all.

Now I had two men to run from but he grabbed my arm.

"Get the fuck off me!" I hollered.

"Vomen don't curse," he snapped.

"Vell I do!" I kicked in his knee cap and his leg bent in unnaturally. I screamed in pain, a scream I didn't often hear a man cry out.

I didn't hesitate to run after glimpsing at his disfigured leg but despite his pain his anger managed to mask it, to distract him and he hobbled after me.

"Papa!" I screamed.

I wanted to go home and I wanted things to make sense again.

Even Adela left me.

Then my family surely would as well.

Papa won't train me to be a butcher or a man if the house anymore.

Mama won't call be her gentlemen.

I won't be a little and big brother.

I won't get to fight.

I won't get to hunt.

I won't get to be muddy or messy or rough.

Death would be better.

If Adela's father decided to kill me that would be better.

Adela wouldn't hate me. I wouldn't have to be a girl. I wouldn't have to lie to myself for the rest of my life and hold back anything. In heaven, I could dream. In heaven, I could be with Adela. In heaven, I'd be me.