BTT x Reader | BloodXLust

Chapter Ninety One | ElizaXNobles

I awoke from my nightmare, drenched in sweat.

A month had passed since I saw the red-eyed man. The red-eyed demon.

What are the odds it's the man Gilbert saw and if so why didn't he hurt me the same way he did Gilbert?

Thousands of questions of him swarmed my mind every minute of every day.

That is at least every moment I wasn't with Roderick.

I've been acting so "womanly" lately I nearly forget the fighter inside of me. Roderick lets me practice sparring in a spare room. He lets me by myself and I couldn't be more grateful but the only problem is I have to step up my fake pretentious brat act in public now that I'm soon to marry into nobility.

Marriage wasn't what was on my mind right now.

Not after the nightmare I had.

Who was he?

What did he mean?

I feel like I see him sometimes in the crowd when Roderick performs.

It wasn't long after the concert a ball was thrown to welcome him and it was then that he announced we were courting.

I did see Anso among the crowd and to say he was furious was an understatement. He confronted me and accused me of betrayal, of whoring around, of being a gold digger. I knew he wasn't a kind person but for him to turn against me so quickly was a little frightening considering before Roderick he was one of my only options.

Mama and papa are thrilled I'm courting.

Papa said he never thought I would.

I think mama isn't worried I like women anymore. I haven't been attracted to any lately because I feel like I'm sinning when I do. Why should love be a sin?

My love for Adela was and still is pure.

I found out Adela became a nun. I haven't asked why. I haven't seen her since everything went horribly wrong. I don't intend to ask her, I'm not sure what would follow. I might be stoned if the truth came out I still loved her.

Humans are cruel monsters at times.

But the real monster I'm facing in the red-eyed man and I have no idea what to do about it since it's been years since I've seen Gilbert.

I'm sure if I talked o him now he'd have more questions than answers. Mostly questions about the fact I'm a woman. Would he be disgusted? He's a priest now he probably will think I'm an awful sinner just because when I was little I dressed and acting like a boy.

Who knows, I'm just glad Roderick doesn't judge me.

Roderick attends hunting parties with other men, he just never hunts. I have to attend tea parties with other Nobel women and I can tell you it's extremely exhausting. Especially his mother...in-laws...not looking forward to it.

I'm glad she doesn't recognize me. Roderick hasn't said anything, he too is worried his parents might be appalled. They're already a bit upset he isn't marrying into a higher status. Apparently, even the princess had taken a liking to him; so why choose me?

A manly woman who also loves women and doesn't have a drop of noble blood. What do I have to for except stress?

Roderick doesn't seem to mind my "shenanigans". My secret sparring, my fencing, my hunting, the fact I lounge around in men's clothes when we aren't to be disturbed.

Despite the fact I can be myself around him the best part is when he teaches me how to play the piano. I quite enjoy it, I didn't think it would be so fun.