Natsu x Reader One Shots

Natsu x Reader: Second Place Medal

A/N: Two posts, one month! Thanks for reading :)

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Our engraving is still there, stone-scratched into the boulder we pushed over to uncover the cave where we spent most of our nights. Those lopsided letters spelling out our initials. The letters you added years later changed my second initial to "D" to match yours.

My burn is still there, scarring my skin you touched so much. The burn, small but painful at the time, caused by your hot temper when faced with the weight you put on yourself to defeat the biggest evil you had known. My hand still stings when it gets too cold outside. Stings when I hold my favorite drink, the same drink you made me when I was upset. It stings when I hold anything too tight, just like when I gripped your shirt that day when his deathly glare became too much.

My guild mark is, of course, still there. Bright red, prominent on my arm to announce to others that I belonged to the same guild as you. The same red as you. The same spot as you. It itches my skin. It feels heavier than any absence of inclination for remorse ever did. I can't bring myself to change its color, no matter how much better it would be for my mental health.

My insecurities are there, reclaiming ownership of the self-esteem you had built up over the years. My head hung low, my eyes ceasing to look directly at others. That eye contact was saved for you. Eye contact requested by your low voice as you showed me how much you loved me on our anniversary.

The necklace is still here, chained to my neck like those chains you ripped me from that day when I was held captive. A flower, small and silver, hung on my chest like the sight of you walking away. Your first declaration of love, spoken clearly in the flower patch where we spent most of our weekends in the spring. Permanently around my neck, never able to be taken off, no matter how much I willed myself to finally rip the bandaid.

My fingers still fiddle with the pendant to ease my anxiety, just as they fiddled with the scarf around you. Bent over and shaking as the waves of depression hit you, I was there. Fiddling with that scarf to remind you that he was still with you. That I will always be with you, waiting.

My hands still pull my hair when I get stressed. Full of hatred for my situation. Unlike yours, pulls full of passion towards our nights together. Unlike yours, gentle when I cried after hard days. Dynamic, opposite of mine.

The scar from the mosquito bite is still there, small and unnoticeable to others. Located on my side from that warm summer night. My shirt rode up to expose me as you took me in our tent during the request in the forest. The tent next to hers.

My 'I love you' is still here, trapped in the back of my throat, unable to be uttered to even my closest friends. At best, it comes as a choked whisper that is understood only as an indecipherable sound to those who could understand the flicks of my eyes as whole statements.

The 'I'm sorry' is here, waiting for you. Prepped and practiced for when I know what I did wrong.

Your cruelty is still here, tearing me apart from the inside. You ripping away your love masked as being concerned for my growth. We got together young, never having time to find what I wanted in life. The space you gave me to figure that out is now the space I scream at in desperation. My journey to find my life-long desires started and ended when you took away the one I wanted to love forever.

My doubt is still here, looming over my soul like you words that last night. Like the shadow from the lunar eclipse the night of our first kiss. Like your form at night, crouched in the trees as you scanned the area for danger while our teammates slept. Some nights I would join you, silently climbing into the branches as you laughed, low as to not wake the others.

Your overcoat is still here. The one with the stain when I promised to wash out the spilled drink but was too late to prevent it. The one taunting me every time I open my drawer in the morning as I instinctively go to pick it up and lay it on the bed so you have it ready when you wake up. The amount of times I have had to put it back into the drawer is both depressing and infuriating.

The chip on the corner of the table in the guildhall is still there. I'm sure you see it when you sit next to it every day. The chip you created on one of your many sparring challenges. The one where Laxus struck you so hard that your head took off a part of the table. The chip caused by your hard, bleeding head. That same bleeding head I had to nurse, constantly rotating warm cloths to the side of your head and staying by your bedside to make sure you didn't slip into sleep those first few hours.

My confusion is still here, clouding my ability to move on. No reason you gave seemed rational. For six years and eleven months, we were in love. What happened that beginning of June that made you want to leave? How did you start dating her so soon after? At that time, I was still struggling to keep down the bile of my empty stomach.

I know what I want, Natsu. I didn't need time away from you to figure it out. It's always been you, and it will never be anything or anyone else.

But when I saw you two tucked away from everyone except the entire guild. Tucked away from me, down on one knee and looking at her like you didn't even notice I was the only one not invited, I realized.

I realized

the necklace you gave me all those years ago

is nothing but

my second place medal.