Just Breathe (Marina)

Chapter 87

Vivianas POV

I messed up,

I know I did. I didn't mean what I said. I was just mad and upset

I don't like being ignored by her, I don't like being ignored period. It's always been like that and she knows it

But I know she is not like her dad. My mom is great. And I meant nothing that I said earlier at the house,

I didn't mean to make mom upset, or mama. I just wanted them to listen to me for once. But I did it the wrong way

Now I'm sitting alone in moms office, I need to apologize but I'm not even going to think about disobeying mama right now so it will just have to wait

I wasn't alone for long when Vic and Travis walked in which made me worry, why are they here?

"Is my mom okay?" I ask them

"She's okay" Vic says but the look on Travis' face made me not so sure

"Then why are you in here?" I ask, I wasn't trying to be rude. Honest.

"Your mama asked us to come sit down here with you" Vic says and I nod

"She's mad at me, so is mom. I messed up" I say and rest my head on my moms desk

"I'm sure they aren't mad" Travis says and I don't move from my spot

"I said something I shouldn't have, I upset mom and it made mama really mad" I admit and begin to scratch at my arm

It's just a soothing thing I was able to find for myself, well it may not be entirely healthy but it's the best I got

I hate confrontation. I always have. I don't even know what was going on inside of me this morning when I snapped at mom, I just felt betrayed I guess

And tired. I was tired of being ignored but now that I look back on it I could have said something differently

Vic and Travis decided not to say anything else which I was grateful for. 

I don't know how long we all sat in silence for but the next thing I knew moms office door was opening again

I thought it was mama coming to yell at me again so I just kept my head down, I know I deserved it but still

I heard Vic and Travis get up and the office door shut and lock, that scared me a little so I lifted my head up and seen mom standing at the door and I put my head back down

I wanted to apologize but I didn't even know where to begin,

I wanted to just throw myself into her arms but I also knew I didn't deserve that

So Instead, I just stayed in my position

"Vivi" mom says softly after a minute and I look over to her,  a proper look at her

Her eyes were red and her face was puffy, i could tell she has been crying, I did that to her

After seeing that I broke, I know I can't do anything to make it better but I could try

"I'm so sorry mommy, I didn't mean it. I know you're not like him. I was mad and it just came out. I wasn't even thinking. I didn't mean to hurt you' im so so sorry" I say but make no effort to move from my spot

Mom just nodded and continued to look at me

"Come here" she says and I waste no time in getting up and letting myself be wrapped in a hug by her

"I'm sorry. I know it doesn't make it better but I am..... I didn't mean any of it. You're an amazing mom and I'm lucky to have you" I say with my head still laying on her chest, I didn't want to see her face right now,