Just Breathe (Marina)

Chapter 79

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Vivianas POV

We're going home today. I'm going to miss being here but I am definitely ready to get home

Emma and I? We're okay,

She's still mad at me, I know she is. Even if she says she isn't. We talked, and I apologized, I still don't think Gia has any other intentions but we won't have to worry about that anymore anyway

I didn't want to fight with Emma anymore, I just let her talk and explain and I didn't argue back, I told her I would be more careful around Gia And she accepted that

We are already packed up and about to leave the resort, I am meeting Gia in the lobby to tell her bye and we are leaving

"I can't believe you're really leaving" she says and I nod sadly

"Well keep in touch?" I say and she nods

"Good luck Viv, and thank you for everything" she says with tears in her eyes and I quickly hug her

"Thank you for being a friend" I smile, and with one more hug I walk back over to moms, Andy and Emma

Emma held her hand out and I took it and smiled, she still seems distant and I hate that

I did that. I made her distant

I'm ruining our relationship without even trying. Without knowing

I quickly put a smile on my face and followed everyone to the cars so we could get to the airport

—-

Once on the plane I sat against the window, Emma sat next to me in the middle and mama sat next to her, while Andy and Mom had their own row

I looked out the window and down at my wrist,

The scar is always a reminder of what I did, how I almost ruined my moms

I ran my fingers over it and sighed, sometimes, even knowing the consequences. I want to do it again

Not like this, but how I used to,

With no intention to seriously hurt myself, just enough to get a release, I need that. Right now especially

Emma must have noticed me messing with my wrist because she grabbed my hand and I looksup at her and she smiles softly

"Are you okay princesa?" She ask softly and I nod

She didn't look to convinced but turned back to mama and started to talk

I looked back at the window and watched as the clouds below blocked any view from anything else

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to live in a cloud, as a Kid I thought I could walk on clouds, if I was able to get on one, I would be able to just walk over it and look down at the ground

I wish I was still young, young and innocent

I feel terrible about how I yelled at Emma. She deserves something more. She definitely didn't deserve that

Emma's been nothing but supportive of me, and I don't even let her talk.

Before I knew it tears slowly came to my eyes,

I couldn't wipe them off because she would know, I just want to go home.

I want to be home, and in bed. Alone. Away from everyone

I closed my eyes tightly and breathed out of my mouth, trying to stop more tears from forming, which thankfully helped

I'm just waiting for the time Emma breaks up with me, I know she will. She is going to realize she can do much better.