Just Breathe (Marina)

Chapter 38

Vivianas POV

Emma is coming back over today, it's also the day mama goes back to work but she's only working half a day

It's been a little under a week since Emma and I had went further in our relationship and now it's like I'm craving her even more,

Not even sexually, I mean sometimes sure but most of the times I just want to be with her

I haven't told my moms yet, I don't even know if I will, I know if I do mom will freak so maybe it's just better I don't

Anyway, for now I get to spend the morning with my mom until mama gets home later today

"Tell me something, anything. I'm so bored and your mama is driving me crazy" mom says and I chuckle

"I don't have anything to tell you" I tell her and she groans

"When is Emma coming? She is nice to me" mom says and I roll my eyes

"Not until later, she's my girlfriend not yours" I say and mom laughs

"I know kid, you got a good one, Emma, she's special" mom says and I smile

"That's for sure" I smile and lean into my mom while we watch some television show I wasn't paying attention to

"Mom?" I question and she looks to me

"Have you and mama talked about more kids?" I ask, I mean of course I already knew the answer but I wanted moms input on it

"We did..... it's been a while though" mom tells me

"Why didn't you ever have anymore" I ask

"Well... I don't know if your mama would be mad at me for telling you" she mumbles

"Just say it" I tell her

"Okay.... We'll originally the plan was to wait until you were out of diapers and we would try again for another" mom explains and I nod

"So we tried and it took three times before mama even got pregnant, the whole process was so draining on her, but she was pregnant, around 19 weeks when we lost the baby" mom says

I never knew any of this, I just assumed they never tried again

"It was hard on us both but mama took it the worse. She was so excited to have another baby" mom smiles softly

"It took a while for her to be herself again, then a few years later we tried again," mom says

"I don't remember any of this" I tell her

"You were too young the first time, the second time we didn't tell anyone and she lost that baby too at 13 weeks.... We just never tried again, I hated seeing your mama so distraught" she sighs

I'm surprised mom is being this open with me, usually she is more reserved

"We talked about it recently, she really wants to try again but I'm scared, scared that we will lose another baby" mom says and I lean into her

"I know it's scary, but I think you should go for it, it would be nice to have a baby in the house" I tell her and she nods

"You think that now until they are screaming at 3 in the morning" mom chuckles

"Definitely worth it" I smile

Emma's POV

I just got ready to head back over to vivs. Thank god she doesn't live far or I would be dead by now, I am not the person who likes to walk far distances, especially in the heat

I like being at her house, her moms make me feel more at home then I do at my own house

It's not that my dad is abusive, he's not, he just gets too rough sometimes

Since I was leaving I decided on texting viv to let her know I was on the way

Emma: leaving now, can't wait to see your beautiful face

Viviana: can't wait till you get here, love you

Emma: love you too

I put my phone away and grabbed my bag that had my charger and clothes for tomorrow in it since I just take vivs clothes for bed anyway

"Where are you going?" My dad ask once I start to come down the stairs and I stop

"To a friends" I tell him

"Who?" He ask

"Viv" I tell him

"The friend I have known for a while" I tell him and he meets me at the stairs

"You're not going" he says sternly

"What why? I just asked you Earlier!" I yell and regret it as soon as I do because the next thing that happened was he had his hand pressed against my neck and held me against the wall

"Stop!" I say. Tears starting to fall

"I'm the adult. I'm in charge" he says and I nod and pull at his hand until he lets go

"Get your shit and go back upstairs, and stop that damn crying" he yells and I hurry to my room and lock the door

I threw my things on my bed and went to the bathroom where I could already see that my neck was red

I hated this, I hated how he switched his mind all the time

My neck hurt so bad right now and all I wanted was to lay in Vivianas arms, I wanted her, I needed her

I took the razor blade out of my drawer and looked at my thighs,

I haven't cut since I met her, it's been so long, months long

She is the reason I'm still here, the day I met her I planned on ending it all, but I knew from the time I seen her I wanted to know her

I put the blade back in the drawer and got into bed And texted viv again

Emma: I'm sorry my love, I can't come over. My dad said no

Viviana: are you okay?

Emma: i want you, but I will be

I sent that text and viviana tried to call but I ignored it just as my dad knocked on the door and I opened it for him

"I'm sorry Emma, I didn't mean to lose my temper" he says and I nod

"I know dad, it's okay" I tell him

"No, Emma I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt you" he says again

"I know dad. But I'm fine" I sigh and he walks out and I get into bed and viv calls again and this time I answer it

"Hi princesa" I smile

"What happened?" She ask immediately

"Nothing happened. He just didn't want me to come over. I'm sorry, I'll try again Tomorrow" I tell
Her,

"Emma I don't believe you" she says and I sigh, she's always so persistent

"I'm fine, I promise, I love you" I tell her

"I love you too" she sighs, I know she wanted me to open up but I couldn't

We talked a little more until her moms called for her and she needed to go

Vivianas POV

"Come help with dinner" mama tells me and I nod

"I need to talk to you both"  I tell them and they look up at me

"You're having sex aren't you?" Mom ask and I groan

"Maya!" Mama scolds and I smile

"What? Carina I would like to know"  mom argues and I sigh

"Stop it!" I say loudly

"I need to talk to you both about Emma"

Till next time❤️

What do you think of Emma's POV??