Just Breathe (Marina)

Chapter 1

Vivianas POV

Hey, I'm Viviana, or Viv as most people call me, I'm 16 and the daughter of a fire captain and a surgeon

Great right? Wrong,

Growing up I thought it was the best thing in the world for my moms to be women in Power, and of course I still do but, it's just so much pressure on me to do something like them

I mean I'm 16 and have no idea what I want to do after high school, one thing for sure is I don't want to be a fire fighter, a doctor maybe but a fire fighter? No thank you

I'm also a sophomore, my stupid birthday is behind the cut off for school so most of the kids in my grade are younger

I don't have any friends, I just always feel like people are judging me and I feel awkward starting conversations so Instead I stay to myself

There is this one girl though, her name is Jade and we have been friends since elementary school, she recently got a boyfriend and doesn't have the time to hang out anymore

And the worse part of it is, that when she isn't in school I eat lunch by myself, I usually try to occupy my lunch period and not eat at all, which I don't in the first place but still

Even if I don't eat lunch, you would never know, which is another reason I feel outcasted with my moms.

I have been "bigger" for years now and no matter how much work I do, or how much I diet nothing will change, and then I look at my parents who are both skinny and fit and it's... just not fair

They are literally perfect! Then there's me, only way you would even know we're related is because of my darker skin tone

I'm half Italian and some donor is my father or whatever, moms said they found him from a Sperm bank,

It doesn't matter I look more like mama anyway, curly brown hair and brown eyes, almost the same face structure but when it comes to our bodies? Absolutely nothing

I would kill to look like her, hell literally anyone on my moms team

So, along with my self image issues, I only wear leggings and t-shirts that aren't tight,

I don't like the way I look in jeans, I won't wear tank tops because then I just look stupid with my broad shoulders

Honestly... it just sucks

And no one really knows what I'm going through, who am I supposed to talk to about this? No one because it makes no sense

Besides all that I spend my time trying not to disappoint my parents, which isn't too hard considering mom is never home and mama is like the best mama in the world

Ever since I was little, she was always there, whenever I'm sad, or hurt she is always there, usually humming a tune in Italian, those are my favorites

I feel like I can talk to her about anything but.... There is some things I like to keep to myself

Mom on the other hand, is still amazing and the two of them are the best moms I could ever ask for

She just has a harder time showing emotions which makes it harder for me to show emotions with her, she runs a lot though

I went with her once and I had a lot of fun but I was slower than her and I felt bad for making her slow down so once we got back home I lied and told her I didn't like it, it's better that way any how

Well I guess that's all about me, I guess besides the whole issue of me just wanting to disappear sometimes but we can save that conversation for another day

So this brings us to now, school just released and I'm walking to the station like I do most days, it's either this or go back to the apartment

I could go to the hospital but it's boring there, mama is always working

And going to the station there is always someone there at least

When I got there the trucks were still in the barn so I knew everyone was there and Travis was at reception

"Hey mini Bishop" he smiles, even if my last name is DeLuca-Bishop everyone here still just says Bishop

"Hey Travis, is my mom in her office?" I ask and he nods and I go up and walk in without knocking Causing her to look up from her desk

"Hey kid, how was school?" She ask,

"Fine, I sat by myself during my lunch period" I say and she frowns

Both my parents are aware of how much I hate school, and I'm sure they are suspicious about how much I hate life but they won't say anything

"Where was Jade?" She ask

"Doctors" I reply

"Did you at least eat lunch?" She ask and I give her a knowing look

"Viv" she sighs And rummages in her desk

"I wasn't hungry" I mumble, which was the truth

"You still need to eat" she says and hands me a nasty looking protein bar

"No thanks, I'll wait till dinner" I say and she sighs

"You know.... I think you should let me do online school, my grades would be so much better" I say,

I mean I already have all A's but still

"Viv we have talked about this, it's not happening" she says and I roll my eyes

"You just got out of school, lose the attitude" she says and I just get up from the chair and walk out of her office and up to the Beanery

She doesn't understand anything, school literally makes me hate my life even more, having no friends, sitting by myself all the time

"Mini Bishop!" They all yell and I smile and walk over to Andy who pulls me into a hug, which was nice, I would never admit that

I held her close a few seconds longer than usual and let go, a blush appearing on my face

"What's wrong?" She ask quietly

"Nothing Tia, I'm fine" I assure her and walk over to Jack who was with Vic

I could sense that Andy was still looking at me so I tried not to look in her direction

A few hours later mama was due to pick me up so I went and got my things out of my moms office

"Mamas almost here" I tell her and she nods

"I know, she's coming In to get you" she says and I nod and sit back down in the chair

A few moments later a soft knock appeared on the door and mama walked in

"Hello bambinas" she smiles and mom gets up to kiss her,

"You'll be home in the morning sí?" Mama ask and mom nods

"Okay... I love you both, be good for your mama" she tells me and I nod

"I love you too" me and mama say and we go out to her car

"How was school?" She ask

"It was good" I lie and she nods

I don't feel like talking about it anymore

When we got home mama made dinner and I made sure not to eat as much

"Is it not good?" She ask

"No it is, I just ate a really big lunch so I'm not as hungry" I say and she nods

"Okay bambina, I'll pack some so you can take it to lunch tomorrow" she smiles and I give her a hug

"I'm going to go shower, thanks for dinner mama"

Till next time ❤️

What do you think so far??