Just Breathe (Marina)

Chapter 42

Still could be a little triggering, read with caution,

Vivianas POV

Why did I do that, my head hurts so bad right now, my arm hurts my legs hurt

Everything hurts

I only cut one of my arms, I couldn't grip the scalpel with my hand that I cut so I couldn't cut the other arm

I want to die, I want everything to stop. But I want my moms, I just want to be in their arms and let them hold me

I need help. I didn't want to admit it but I do

This is it, I go to my moms or I can stay here and just  watch my arm slowly bleed out, I mean can't be long before  I won't be able to feel it anyway

I want my moms

But I don't want to live

I don't know what to do,

If I go to my moms now they will hate me, they'll be disappointed, and who even knows they want me

There are so many voices in my head right now,  some telling me to just relax and stop fighting, some telling me to get my moms,

I'm sick, and who knows if I get my moms  I won't just do this again, I can't keep putting them through this

Mayas POV

"I swear Carina, I'm losing it here" I sigh, Carina has tried getting viv to eat dinner earlier and she wouldn't,

Which means she hasn't ate anything at all today

Carina and I just went to say goodnight and now we're on the couch together,

We only said goodnight this early because once viv falls asleep again we didn't want to wake her

"What do we about the bambina?" Carina ask

"I don't know my love, i dont" I sigh

"We can't let her miss therapy anymore" Carina says and I nod

"I know, I just feel bad and I don't want to get all hard ass on her" I admit and Carina kisses my head

"You are a wonderful mommy Maya, I love the way you are with her, but she needs to go to therapy" Carina says and I nod

"You think we can get her an appointment for tomorrow?" I ask and Carina smiles

"I think we can, I'll call and see" she says and she relaxes into me and we hear the shower cut on

"Do you hear that?" I ask

"Is that? Well that's a good sign right? Means she is out of bed" she says and I smile

"You're right" I say

We sat and watched tv for a while, the water was still
Running so we were glad viv was out of bed to shower at least

While we were watching tv I heard some foot steps in the hallway and so did Carina because we both turned that way

Only, while we expected to see our daughter, this is not what we imagined

Viv had tears running down her face, her left arm was gushing blood so fast that her clothes were soaked in it, her left hand held something silver and her whole body was pale

"Mommy" she cries and Carina and i quickly get up and run over to her

"Mama help" viv cries and I immediately take my shirt off to wrap around her arm since it's all I could think of at the moment