Vivianas POV
They found me, I didn't think they would
It was midnight by the time they came to the station and I know they were mad, hell I'm mad at myself
When we got home it was like one
"Im going to run you a bath and then we can all lay in our bed" mama says and I nod and sit on the couch with mom who laid me in her lap
"Vivi what were you thinking?" She ask softly
"I can't take it anymore, I just can't" I tell her and she sighs and mama comes back out to us
"You ready bambina?" Mama ask and I sigh
"Can you get out while I get in?" I ask them and they nod
It's not that I'm worried about them seeing me naked naked, well not for the reason you would think
It's more of because I'm ashamed of my stretch marks, my moms don't have them yet I'm 16 and I do, everywhere
Once I got in the water I was fine, mama had put bubbles so they couldn't see anyway
"Okay.." I call out and they come in and mama sits on the edge of the bath
"Lean back bella" she says and I do and she pours water over my hair
I know my hair had gotten bad.... Shawn was right. It is very greasy and that's because I haven't washed it in forever
Mama then began to massage the shampoo into my hair and rinsed it out before adding conditioner at which she spent time trying to de tangle my hair
"Where's mom?" I ask quietly
"Shes just outside" she says and I nod
Once my hair was finished she put it in a bun on top of my head so it wouldn't stay in the water
"I'll dry and brush it when you get out" she says and I nod
"Will you be okay?" She ask and I nod once again and she steps out and I sigh and relax into the bath
I don't know what's going to happen in the following days but I know that I am going to have to gain their trust back
I washed off my body and let the water out of the tub before wrapping myself in the towel mama had left in here
Once I was done I walked out of their room and into mine
I got dried off and dressed and mama came back in
I then followed mama to her room and mom still wasn't even in the house
I didn't think about it scaring them, If I'm being honest I didn't think they would care
Mama dried my hair and brushed it before putting in two braids and she wrapped her arms around me from behind and kissed my head
"Let's get into bed bambina" she says and I nod
"What about mom?" I ask her
"She'll be here soon" she tells me and i nod
I laid my head on her chest and she held me tight and began to hum my favorite Italian lullaby
It always calmed me down, mama always knows what to do, and I took advantage of that. I hurt them. I did something I never wanted to do
"Hey... it's okay, you're okay" mama says and I shake my head and sit up
"I'm so sorry mama, I didnt think about how this would affect you and mom.... I didn't think you would notice..." I tell her, my breathing starting to become faster
"Wha? Why wouldn't we notice? Viviana you're our daughter.. the most important thing in our lives"" she tell me and I start to dig my nails into my hand
"Vivi stop it" she says firmly and takes my hands and try to pull them away from her
"Mama help" I say, scaring myself since I couldn't breathe
"Okay... okay... take deep breaths with me" she says and takes my hands to put them on her chest and she exaggerates her breathing to help me
"What's going on?" Mom ask as she came back into the room
"We're just having a little bit of trouble calming down" mama says softly
Mom frowned and got in bed behind me and leaned me back into her and she put her head on my shoulder
With the help of them both I was able to calm down
"Well talk in the morning okay?" Mom ask softly and I nod
I laid down in the middle of the bed with my moms on either side
I felt safe at this moment, and I felt bad, I mean. I would get it if I was like 5, but I'm not. I'm 16. I shouldn't need my moms to calm me down,
—-
Last night was terrible... I just woke up and mama was asleep but mom was awake and just staring at the ceiling
"Mom?" I ask and she looks at me with tears in her eyes and looks away quick to wipe them
"Good morning my girl" she says and puts her arms around me
"Why? Why'd you do it?" She ask me
"I don't know, Shawn was teasing me... and you and mama didn't listen... I told you. I just- I just felt like I was alone. And I didn't think you would even care if I was gone" I admit and she takes a deep breath
"How could you think that?! You and your mama are my everything. Not knowing where you were yesterday was the scariest day of my life, it's like I lost a part of me. I didn't know where you were, or if you were safe" she says and I don't respond
"I just I have these thoughts and the loudest one is that you and mama would be better off without me" I say quietly
"That's not true, that's not true in the slightest, Viviana we would be lost without you. I couldn't live knowing you weren't by my side" she says and mama wakes up and puts her arm across me
"I'll be back" mom says and gets out of bed and changes quick and we heard the front door open and close
"She just needs time to process" mama says and I nod and roll over
"I know," I sigh
——
It's now about 12 and I'm in my room, my parents are in the kitchen, arguing. They are trying to be quiet but, not that well
Mayas POV
"Carina I'm not sending her back to that school" I tell my wife
"What are you going to do then Maya?" Carina says
"She ran away Carina! She just- up and left like nothing matters to her. Like we don't matter. And and it's my fault. She has been telling me she can't do school there so no I'm not sending her back" I yell
"Im ruining her, im doing something for her to think she wouldn't be noticed. Fuck! I can't do anything right for her. Carina what would we have done if yesterday turned out differently, what if she got hurt?" I yell again and she flinches a little and I sigh
"Carina I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I." I sigh
"I know bambina... we can look into putting her in online,"she says
"And Maya, don't you ever say that again. She's a teenager, we are doing what we can. You have to stop saying that you're messing her up" she says sternly
"If we let her do online.... She has to come to work with one of us, I'm not okay with leaving her home all day" I say honestly, I'm scared for what she might do if I'm being honest
"I agree, I don't want us leaving her alone" Carina says and she walks over to me and puts her hands in mine
"Maya were going to get through this, we are all going to be okay, our daughter is going to be okay" Carina says and I nod and drop my head against her chest and she brings her hand to the back of my head
"I love you"
Till next time❤️
YOU ARE READING
Just Breathe (Marina)
FanfictionMaya and carinas daughter Viviana, suffers from both depression and anxiety, her parents just don't know to what extent until eventually It all becomes too much and Viviana reaches out to her moms This story will be mostly told from Vivianas perspe...
