Vivianas POV
After another week I'm finally ungrounded and have my phone back, I haven't cut since I told Emma, even if I have wanted to so many times,
I haven't been able to get rid of the blade though, I tried but each time I end up just putting it back in the drawer
Emma is on her way over now, this time Andy snd mom talked so she can't be in trouble
Mama and I had kind of like a little break through, she comes and sits with me for a little bit after work and we talk, I still haven't been able to tell her that I cut again but as long as I don't do it any more it doesn't matter
Mom however is another story, she still can barely look at me, she's pissed all the time and it's like I'm walking on eggshells around her, I'm tired of it
She hasn't even barged into my room once , it's like she doesn't even care. While mama makes an effort mom doesn't even ask how I am anymore
I don't really know how to feel about it, I mean I guess it's my fault she doesn't but she is still my mom and all
"Bambina I have to head to work..... Emma is almost here. I can trust the two of you to be alone?" She ask me and I nod
"I'm serious viv," she says
"I know mama, we will be okay, I'll text you every hour" I say and she smiles
"Okay.... I'll be in surgery but I will call as soon as I can" she says and I nod
"Okay... love you mama" I say and she hugs me quickly and kisses my head
"I love you too bambina, be good" she tells me and leaves
I just sat in bed for the rest of the time until Emma came, Andy had to leave so now it was just us
We went back to my room and got into my bed and she immediately laid on top of me, causing me to laugh in return
"Bambina what are you doing?" I chuckle
"Getting comfortable, I missed you" she mumbles and I smile and wrap my arms around her
"I missed you too" I tell her
"You're not going to ask?" I ask her, usually she checks in on me about my self harm but she hasn't today
"Nope, not right now. I trust you and plus it will just be a way for me to get you naked later" she says and I laugh
"You're very funny" I say and she smirks at me
"I know" she mumbles and lays her head down on my against neck
"Do you ever think about the future?" Emma ask me a few minutes later while I continued to rub her back
"Sometimes.... Like.... I know I want you in my future, hopefully as my wife one day... i mean yes we're young but I love you. And I know I won't stop" I say and Emma lifts up off of me long enough to smile
"You're so cheesy but I feel the same" she smiles and kisses my neck
"What about kids?" She ask
"Aren't we a little too young for this conversation?" I chuckle and she doesn't respond
"I don't know. I didn't think I wanted them. I'm kind of on the edge. Like I really want a baby but then I'm worried about messing them up. Like what if they get my stupid mental health problems and one day start hurting them self.... I don't want to ruin my future hypothetical child" I say and Emma sits up all the way this time to where she is just sitting in my lap
"For what its worth, I think you'd be an amazing mother. I understand you're worried but you have been through this. You know what you need now and if your future hypothetical child needs you, you will always be there. And so will I. Because I hope any hypothetical future children are with me" she says and holds my hands
"You'd be an amazing mom Emma" I say
"I have always wanted to be a mom... until mine died" she says and tightens her grip on my hands, I know talking about her mom is always rough on her
"And then I was worried about becoming my dad" she tells me
"You're nothing like him, you don't ever have to worry about that bambina" I say firmly and she smiles weakly
"I know..... I think. But anyway... in Case I die I don't want my children growing up without a family. But I know that our kids... in the future hypothetically won't be alone. They have your moms, Andy, and everyone at the station.... So I know they won't have to worry about a thing" she says and I pull her down so she was laying on me again and I held her tightly to me
"Emma you have nothing to worry about.... Our kids will be loved, and never have to worry about losing you.... Because if I have any say in it you'll be around forever" I say and kiss her head and she kisses my neck in response
"I can't wait for our future hypothetical children" she giggles and I do the same
"Don't get any ideas anytime soon" I say and she snuggles closer to me and groans and sits up again and pulls at my shirt
"Really?" I ask her and she takes her shirt off, leaving her in just a baby blue laced bra
I just rolled my eyes and sat up long enough to take my shirt off, leaving me just in a black Nike sports bra
I laid back down and laid right on top of me snd covered us up with my blue blanket
"You're very pretty... especially in this" I say and unclip her bra and she groans
"Princesa!" She exclaims, her face now red
She always gets all blushy whenever she gets complimented
"What?" I ask while smiling and she shakes her head and pulls away from me to take her bra the rest of the way off and lays back down
"I love you but I'm sleepy" she says and I nod
"Me too... I just wanted to be closer" I say and she rolls her eyes and laughs
"Mmhm sure.. now sleep" she says and I kiss her head and let myself relax and fall into sleep along with Emma
—
I woke back up to phone ringing
Emma had rolled off of me and was now just laying next to me
"Cut it off" she mumbles and covers herself back up while I answer the phone
"Hello?"
"Hey bambina, just wanted to check in on your while I have a moment"
"We're good mama, we were asleep"
"Oh I'm sorry, you can go back to sleep now. I love you"
"Love you too" I cut the phone off and Emma cuddled back into me
"We should get up" I say and rub her bare back
"No" she says defiantly and I laugh and let her lay back on top of me
I couldn't go back to sleep and Emma wasn't either now so we. Just laid in silence for a little
"I'm hungry" Emma says a few minutes later and I chuckle
"You know where the food is" I say and she sits up and quickly covers her chest
"Forgot I was still naked" she laughs And slips a shirt over her head and goes to the kitchen and comes back with some snacks
After she ate we sat back comfortably in the bed and Emma put her hand on my thigh
"Are they still sore?" She ask me
"Not really, a little but nothing to worry about" I say and she pulls my shorts up to look at the cuts
"I'm so proud of you princesa"
Till next time ❤️
YOU ARE READING
Just Breathe (Marina)
FanfictionMaya and carinas daughter Viviana, suffers from both depression and anxiety, her parents just don't know to what extent until eventually It all becomes too much and Viviana reaches out to her moms This story will be mostly told from Vivianas perspe...
