"It's no use trying to escape." Isabelle walked into Magnus' living room, Alec and I following her, "The trap you're in was designed to hold a Greater Demon."
"Well, that's not very nice, trapping your brother in a box." Jace remarked slyly, smirking.
"You're not our brother." Alec shot back at him quickly, "And don't get too comfortable 'cause we're gonna bring him back."
"You and your undying love for your parabatai." Jace scoffed deeply, "I hate to burst your bubble, but when I was sent to your family in Idris, I was a desperate kid."
Magnus walks in, "Pay no mind to him."
Jace stood in front of Alec, the Malachi Configuration separating them, "The only reason I became your parabatai was to make sure there was a roof over my head."
"Alec, don't listen to him." I don't even glance him, still being slightly upset with him, slipping off my jacket, "He's just trying to get under your skin."
"Or maybe," Jace faces me, "I just prefer not to coddle your latest soldier boyfriend- remember when you and I were together in the sheets?"
I glare at him, "Shut the hell up-"
"We got your call." Luke walks into the apartment, Simon following him, "Any news about Clary?"
"You almost killed her!" Simon immediately went over to Jace, "She gave herself up to the Clave trying to protect you!"
"Still jealous she picked me over you, huh?" Jace laughed in his face and taunted us, "And her love wasn't even enough to break me free- it was her sisters."
"Let me in there!" Simon shouted and hit the barrier, "I'll throw you off a building!-"
"Come on!" Luke pulled him into the other room, as we all followed, Magnus shutting the door behind us, "The Jace in that trap is not our Jace."
"We need to focus." I grabbed his arm when Simon tried to resist, "If the Clave finds out about my wish to Raziel, they will have it out for my head."
"The first thing they're going to do is put her on trail-" Isabelle exhaled, "Dozens of Clave guard's will storm in here, take Zee away, and we may never see her again."
I'll admit I was scared.
If I had to do it again, I would've.
But, I was gonna bring Jace back, even if it was the last thing I was gonna do.
"All right." Luke began, "Do we have anybody in Idris that can get us information?"
"Well, we stole from the Clave's armory." Alec reminds him, "So if they've figured that out-"
"They're not gonna tell us anything." I finished his sentence, sighing deeply and crossing my arms.
Simon questions, "So- what's plan B?"
"I'm gonna try to get some more intel on Clary." Luke said then looks at Simon, "The best thing you can do? Go back to that abandoned building and see if you can find some clues."
"No-" Simon denied, "I'm not going on a demon hunt while my best friend is in prison!"
"Simon- Clary risked everything to save Jace." Isabelle stepped in, "You want to do something for her? Help destroy the demon that caused all this mess."
"I want to know as soon as you hear anything." Simon agreed, pointing at Luke.
"You got it-" Luke nodded as Simon began leaving the room with him so they could go on with their missions.
"Hey." Alec warns us all immediately, stopping them, "No one can find out about Jace's possession. If Clary's able to keep a lid on Zee's wish, we can't blow it."
Luke and Simon nod, leaving the room.
Magnus exhales and looks between Alec and I, "Speaking of Jace- we need to talk."
Magnus lead him and I onto the terrace, inhaling deeply, "Now, If we wanna bring Jace back, we have to get through to him using the strongest connection possible."
"Which is me." Alec crosses his arms then nods in agreement, "I'm in, whatever it takes."
"I don't think you understand." Magnus presses his hands together, "This isn't like the last time we tried to use your parabatai connection to help Jace- if you go in, Lilith could get her demonic claws into your soul as well."
"Magnus, can I have a moment alone with Alec?" I quietly said, hugging myself, as he nodded and left Alec and I on the terrace, "You're not doing this-"
Alec looked at me, "Zee-"
"No, this isn't safe." I shook my head, facing him, "I already lost someone to Lilith, I'm not losing you too-"
"This isn't your choice-" Alec began to say.
I interjected quickly, "It wasn't your choice back at Idris either but- you still made sure I wasn't the one behind bars. I'm making sure you don't get subjected to Lilith and I lost both of you-"
Alec sighs, "Zee, I know you're still upset with me about not letting you give yourself away to the Clave-"
"Alec, they're going to lock me up either way." I argued, crossing my arms, "This is no way I get out of this- I made the only wish to Raziel for my own gain-"
"For all of our gain-" Alec argues back, "You risked yourself so that Jace could live and we didn't have to live without him- so Clary could love him, and Isabelle, Max and I could still have our brother- for me to still have my parabatai- you could've wished for anything else for yourself but you didn't-"
"That doesn't matter to the Clave and you know that." I gaped at him, leaning against the wall, "I mean- what the hell did you think was gonna happen? They would keep Clary in my place? What the hell were you thinking-"
"That I needed all the time I had left with you." Alec's vulnerable words made me shut up, his voice laced with exhausted from arguing with me.
"I needed more time with you-" Alec's words made my heart ache in so much pain, regretting that I was ever angry with him, "With whatever time you had left- I just- I wanted you to spend it with me- no matter what we were doing- I know that's selfish, but-"
I cut him off and grabbed his face, pressing my lips into his, his words silenced when he immediately kissed back, gripping my waist gently.
Then the thought of losing him crossed my mind.
The thought of him going in alone and not making it out because Lilith had gotten control of him too.
I pulled away, "Alec, I don't know if I can go through almost losing you again-"
"Zee- I have to do this." Alec gently grabbed my face, caressing my cheek with his thumb, "I have to."
"I know." I stare at him, feeling the fear overwhelmingly, "But, if I let you do this- if I give in and I lose you-"
"I know." Alec stopped me, staring into my eyes, "It's just- if I don't get Jace back, without him, I'm- I'm nothing."
"Okay." I gave in after a moment, inhaling deeply, thought popping into my head, "But- you're not going alone."
-
"So, there is a way." I placed my palms flat on the table we surrounded, "I can go with Alec to save Jace, even though I'm not his parabatai?"
Magnus nodded in confirmation, "It's possible, but- it would require more magic and give you less time inside."
"No." Alec immediately rebuffed the thought, shaking his head, "I'll take the chance, but- I'm not putting Zee in that kind of danger."
"This isn't up for debate." I finalized, looking at my boyfriend, "Wherever you go, I'm right behind you."
"Zee, I said no-" Alec shook his head again, staring at me in the eye, "I'm not letting you risk yourself-"
"I'm the one who caused this mess." I shot back at him, "I'm not going to run the risk of losing you too."
"I'm coming too." Isabelle placed a hand over mine.
Alec goes slightly wide eyed in defensive, "Both of you? I'm already afraid to let Zee come along-"
"The last time you tried to use your parabatai connection, you were in a coma and almost died." Isabelle reminded him, "Jace was the only person who could save you- and this time we won't have him to bring you back. I'm not just going to sit out here and do nothing like last time-"
Alec purses his lips and rolls his eyes lightly, standing straight, sighing through his nose at the fact that he had no say in this.
"Okay, now that that's been decided-" I looked at Magnus, "What exactly do we have to do?"
Magnus answered, "You have to find Jace and bring him out with you."
Alec inhaled, "How?"
"When you find him, you all have to be linked." Magnus instructed, "Now, I'll have one shot to pull you all out together."
"So, it's settled." I nodded, looking between us all, "Let's go bring Jace back."
-
"Hey, what are the chances I could get a beer in here?" Jace asked when we walked back into the living room, a smug look on his face.
"None." Alec shortly replied, "Let's go."
"You guys were always the smart ones in the family." Jace looked between Isabelle and Alec, "You really think you can save Jace from Lilith?"
No one replied.
"I don't know how long I can maintain the connection." Magnus looked between the three of us, "So find Jace as soon as possible."
"Why do you wanna save Jace?" Jace looked at Alec, "I mean- I get he's your parabatai and all, but- he's your main competition."
"By the way, that kiss at the courtyard- when our feelings for each other finally resurfaced after years-" Jace clicked his tongue and smirks at Alec, "We never got to compare notes."
I looked back at Alec to see the not so happy look on his face, looking back at Jace, "Didn't I already tell you to shut the hell up?-"
Jace simply laughed lightly at me, continuing to taunt Alec, "You may share your bed with her, but- if your precious Zee could only have one of us, who do you think she'd pick? Her first, or her second? The best friend she risked the rest of her life for or the guy she's just sleeping with?"
"Hey-" I grabbed Alec's hand, looking right into his eyes, "He's trying to mess with us- he's buying himself time-"
Alec squeezes my hand back, nodding gently towards me, inhaling deeply, not liking what he was being taunted with but understanding.
"Well, why don't you come in here and let us relive our kiss?" Jace suggests, smirking, "Let's see how you feel afterwards-"
"Shut up." Alec snapped at him this time.
"It's okay." I squeezed his hand again, "He's just trying to distract us- stay focused."
"Oh, yeah." Jace smirked as we all grabbed each other's hands, "Whatever you do, don't lose focus-"
Jace was cut off when a fog of magic connected us all, making him grunt, trying to resist.
"You know, your girlfriend's right." Jace clenched his jaw, looking towards Alec, "Focus is the key-"
Then, he held his hands against the barrier, letting out a scream before falling to the ground, unconscious.
My eyes widen, pulling away from the connection, "Jace?"
Alec huffs, "He's doing it on purpose-"
"Yes, to prevent us from entering his mind." Magnus nodded, breathing heavily, "We have to find another way."
"I have an idea." Isabelle looked up at us suddenly, "Portal me to the Institute."
-
"Oh, brave." Jace stood up to find himself in chains, smirking lightly at us, "No more box?"
"We needed the Malachi Configuration to trap you." Alec stares at him, "We're not gonna let you use it to hurt our brother."
Jace pulled on the chains, scoffing lightly, "And now you think this can hold me?"
Isabelle replies quickly, "Valentine used them to hold an Angel for 25 years."
Jace's eyes slightly squint, "I'm no Angel."
I huff, "How much longer until Magnus is ready?-"
"No time like the present." Magnus walked in right at the mention of his name, rolling up his sleeves.
Alec inhales, grabbing my hand, "Let's do this."
When Magnus began working up his magic, Jace stared between us, "No, you don't wanna do this-"
Jace grunts when the connection came in contact with him and the rest of us, grunts leaving us all.
My eyes rolled to the back of my head, feeling as if I was about to pass out, everything all back.
But then my eyes open, seeing Isabelle and Alec next to me, just as cautious and confused at the setting.
I looked around, "We're in the Institute."
Isabelle adds in, "Inside Jace's mind."
Then, there were sounds of laughter and swords hitting each other, Alec leading us down the hall, "Jace!"
"I got you!" A laugh filled my ears as we came to a stop, my eyes landing in the training room, the memory before my eyes making my heart ache.
Jace, Alec and Isabelle were training in the center of the room, while I saw a few feet away on the bench, holding my sketch book, watching them.
This was within the first few months of me being here. When I first met them, when I began bonding with them.
"Zee, come on!" The younger, teenaged version of my best friend called out, "You're supposed to be on my team!"
The younger version of me blended the charcoal to the sheet of paper, "You're doing fine on your own-"
"Come on-" Jace pressed, "We didn't drag you down here to just sit there and draw all night-"
"Yeah," Young Alec sided with his parabatai, looking at me with shy, but dreamy eyes, "Join us."
How had I been so oblivious?
Watching my younger self now only made me cringe at how I never saw the signs that he was in love with me.
That I loved him back.
"Really guys, I'm good-" The younger version of myself waved the three off, "I'll stick to my charcoal and paper-"
"I remember this." Alec watched our younger versions, "This was the night Mom and Dad went on mission in Geneva and we snuck downstairs to train-"
Isabelle smiles a little, "We dragged Zee along even though she'd rather stay in her room and sketch-"
"Zee, we're a team." Isabelle's younger version pressed to convince me, "And what's the rule when our team goes into battle?"
"Four go in." Jace held his blade towards me to join, "Four come out."
I smiled to myself right when the younger version of me got up and walked over to him, slowly taking the blade, joining them in their training session.
Then suddenly, all the versions disappeared into nothing, leaving only Jace, "No- please, don't take them away!"
Isabelle's eyes went wide when Jace ran past us, "What just happened?"
"Jace!" I rushed after him, Alec and Isabelle following me only for us to find an empty hall, as I looked around, "What the hell?-"
We turned to go back where we came from but there was suddenly a brick wall blocking our way.
"Stay close." Alec warned us both when we started walking down the hall cautiously, "We can't lose each other."
I looked at him in question, "Is that the Jace we need to bring back?"
"I don't know." Alec admits quietly, "He didn't disappear with the memory, which makes me think that he's the real Jace that's trapped in here or at least a part of him-"
Isabelle interjects in question as well, "And the memory of us that burned away?"
Alec guessed again, "Maybe part of Lilith's torture is taking away everything he loves."
I looked down the hall, "Jace?"
I looked back to see no Alec or Isabelle.
"Iz?" I did a complete turn, but nothing, "Alec?"
-
"Alec?" I walked down the hall of the living space slowly, looking around, "Iz?"
I had lost them too.
Then, my eyes landed on the trail of blood that led right into Jace's bedroom.
I hesitated before walking towards it, stepping into the opened room, jumping a little when there was a dead body on the ground, a wound right through and oozing blood.
That body was me.
"What the hell-" I whispered to myself, my eyes widening as I looked up and around his room, seeing multiple duplicates of myself, with the same wound, same state.
Then I saw Jace on his knees, crying on his bed next to my dead body, holding the dagger stained with my blood.
I took a step, "Jace?"
"I tried not to." Jace looked at me, tears streaming down his cheeks, "I tried every time."
"Hey, hey-" I took another step, "It's all gonna be okay, alright? None of this is real."
"Lilith's torturing me." Jace's voice was weak when he spoke, "She's punishing me-"
"I'm gonna get you out of here." I walked closer to him, stopping a few feet away, "Okay?-"
"No, please-" Jace got up and took a few steps back, his face twisting in pain, tearing up, "Please- I can't- I can't- do this anymore- I can't kill her again-"
"You won't, you won't-" I quickly said, holding my hand out, stepping closer, "I'm not part of Lilith's mind games."
"No, no-" Jace shook his head, looking as if he was resisting as hard as he could when we began making his way over to me.
"Jace, I'm real." I watched him hold the grip tighter, "This is- this is real-"
Jace's resistant hand reached back, the dagger he held aimed right for where he had punctured a wound in every other version of me.
"No-" I stopped his hand, putting mine over his, putting my free hand on his shoulder, staring into his eyes, "Jace, it's me."
Jace looked taken back at me stopping him, his voice breaking, making me assume that every other version he killed didn't, "Are you really here?"
I exhale deeply, "Yes."
Tears broke free from the glossy sheet over Jace's eyes, the dagger slipping from his hand and falling to the ground as he slammed his body against mine in a tight hug, clinging to me for comfort.
"Hey- hey," I wrapped my arms around him, holding him tightly, feeling him lightly lift me off the ground due to the different in our heights, "I promise you're okay- I've got you, you're safe-"
Jace's quiet sobs were heard against my shoulder, as I kept a tight grip on him, holding onto him.
I was the reason he was going through this.
That he was experiencing all this pain.
Jace slowly set me down when he noticed all the dead versions of me gone, holding onto my arms.
"Jace?" Alec's voice filled the room, Isabelle standing right behind him, two versions of Jace that were behind him disappearing, showing us that we had found our Jace.
"Jace!" Isabelle rushed over to him, hugging her teary eyed brother, Alec following her, embracing him as well.
Then a distant echo of Magnus' shout sounded the room, "Hurry!"
"We have to go." I immediately said when they pulled away, "Now-"
Jace pauses and shook his head, "I can't-"
Isabelle looked at him, "What are you talking about?"
"She's gonna come for me." Jace's voice was shaking, "She's never gonna let me go."
"No, we'll stop her- together." Alec denied what he said, "But- we have to get out of here, we're running out of time."
"You can't, you can't stop her- no one can." Jace had lost all hope, tears falling from his eyes, "There's only one way to help me- there's only one one thing you can do."
Jace slowly grabbed the dagger from the ground and held it aimed for himself, looking towards his parabatai, "Alec- I need you to kill me."
Alec's expression dropped, "What?-"
"Please, please!-" Jace was sobbing, "I've tried- I've tried so many times, please, Alec- I'm begging you."
"Jace-" Alec shook his head, "No-"
"Jace, please stop-" I put a hand over my mouth at the sight of my best friend being so miserable, Isabelle having tears streaming down her cheeks.
"I need you to do this for me." Jace sniffled quietly, pleading, "Alec, please-"
Alec put a hand over his, putting his foot down, "Never- you're coming with us."
"Zee, listen- I did all those things." Jace faced me, his eyes bloodshot from crying, "I threw you off that rooftop- I almost killed you- I- I possessed all those mundanes- I killed Imogen-"
"None of that was you, Jace-" I put my hands over his to stop him from pushing the dagger further in my direction for me to kill him, "It was Lilith-"
"It doesn't matter." Jace's voice broke, looking between the three of us, "If I go with you, she's gonna find me- she's gonna make me do worse, and you won't be able to stop her- you won't be able to stop me."
"Jace, enough." I was tearing up quickly, my voice shaking, "I'm not gonna do it-"
"Please." Jace sounded more urgent and pushing now, "If you love me, do it."
I shook my head, "No-"
"Do it!" Jace made me hold the blade and held onto my hands, "I'm begging you- please-"
I threw the blade to the ground, "I said no!"
"Four go in." Isabelle grabbed Jace's hand, then Alec's, making Alec grab my hand, "Four come out."
Jace looked at us with complete and utter vulnerability, "Please don't let her take me again."
"We won't." I looked at him, sniffling quietly, holding out my shaky hand for him, "I promise."
Jace slowly grabs my hand, the connection flashing gold, shining bright before everything went black.
Completely black.
When I opened my eyes to the sound of rattling chains and grunts, I was back in Magnus' living room, on the ground next to Alec and Isabelle, Magnus catching his breath next to us.
The chains were broken and there was no Jace.
"No-" I pushed my body up, my hand still locked with Alec, "No, no, no-"
"No-" Alec sat up next to me, breathing heavily, looking at the empty room, "She took Jace!"
"I'm sorry." Magnus breathes, "I couldn't stop her."
-
"He begged us." Alec stares at the chains that were broken, "He begged us to kill him."
Tears were burning in my eyes, knowing that we had lost Jace, and seeing the broken look on Alec's face.
I drop the chain in my hand and stood up, wrapping my arms around his middle tightly, laying my head on his chest, a tear slipping my eye.
Alec wrapped his arms around me equally as tight, leaning his cheek against my head, his eyes remaining on the chains.
"All the terrible things Lilith made Jace do-" Isabelle was still holding the chains, "He said if she takes him back, she'd make him do much worse."
"Now- Lilith has him again, just like he said she would." I felt even more guilty, hating myself even more for being the cause of this, "We promised him we wouldn't let her take him back."
Magnus exhales, "You did all you could."
I slipped away from Alec, more tears falling from my eyes, "Well, it wasn't enough to save him."
Alec clenched his jaw to hold back his own tears, "We promised him."
authors note:
i've had this chapter written for a month now and i'm finally publishing it, ahhh
but, there's a lot of moments in this chapter that just make me wanna cry tbh, especially with zalec and zace
but, i'm sorry for the late updates recently !
thank you so much for 50k !!
go read metanoia !!!
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